Black girl with experience of only white guys, weird?

OK so this may sound weird but maybe just in wording. I want some outside honest opinions though, k?

I;m a seventeen year-old African American girl, who since around age 4 has lived in a not even predominantly, but like ALL (albeit the few here and there) white area. Growing up all my neighbors girlfriends and guy friends were either white or mixed, Asian Hispanic whatever just not black, and I was never exposed to a typically black area or lifestyle, meaning I don't walk talk dress act ghetto.

Fast forward to 8th grade & beyond...

My first kiss was with a french boy on vacation with friends the summer before highschool. My dates to dances were white boys, the boys I kissed at parties and concerts were white. I've never had a boyfriend but the boys I would be "seeing" were white. Now before you get a skewed picture of me, know that I find many african american guys and guys of other races hot, but I've never had the chance with one. Like I mean to the point where my friends make jokes of how I've gotten with more white guys than them and they are white.

I don't try to only get with them only on purpose, it just seems most african american guys (and take this with some salt) are "culturally" and "vocally" black and don't connect with me because I don't act or talk like that, so they relate to another black girl who does. This is where I need opinions...is this true? is it wrong that I haven't? and should I try to get with some black guys, or just not change anything? But then I run the risk of looking like its intentional and I have a preference, but I don't men are men hot is hot?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't think its weird at all, you are who you are. don't change who you are just to portray some kind of black stereo type, that a lot of african americans try and portray that gangster, rap role. its bs it really is.

    its a disgrace to african americans really. makes people think that all blacks are gang banger, street gang type people, when really this isn't true at all. iam sure if you tried hard enough, there are black males out there that would relate to you if you really wanted to date a black guy

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What Guys Said 6

  • I don't find it weird, I pretty much dated only whites and Hispanics most of my love life. =o Its not that I dislike my race or anything, its just I found them more attractive or appealing then asians,blacks, etc. Its all based off your preference =)

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  • i think its terrible that race is such a big deal to you. people are people, the color of their skin doesn't reflect who they are or how they talk. where there were brought up, on the other hand, has a large influence. being black doesn't make people ghetto, growing up in Hunter's point, however likely will

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    • I think you have me wrong! I never said being black made you ghetto, infact I used the term ghetto instead of black for that exact reason, to avoid someone saying this (fail). When I did say "culturally" black I warned you to take it with a grain of salt meaning I don't mean everyone. Honestly though race is not a big deal to me never has been otherwise I wouldn't be with people outside my race, I just wasn't sure if my dating history made me seem like a self-racist : /

  • I am a southern black male who has experienced similar problems except in reverse. First of all, you should always be proud of who you are and where you come from. Stereotypes are one of the most complex things in society. In genuine love and relationships their is no color involved because we as people are supposed to see past that.
    I am open to dating any person of any ethnicity. Although I have been raised to watch dating women of other races I have never seen it as a problem. There are some black guys out there who like girls who do speak proper. In fact, for me it would sometimes be easier starting a conversation with you. Always stay positive no matter the situation. Sometimes you just have to let the right guy come to you.

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  • It is what it is don't change who you are for another person. I get bashed sometimes for only dating black women, I just don't find other women to be sexually appealing to me does not mean I think badly towards anyone else. So again be who you are and date who you want to date and be with someone who likes you for who you are.

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  • it's not wrong, it just seems that you have more in common with white guys and most people are attracted to those with common interests or experiences. what would be the benefits of changing for you? and are you changing because you want to or so your friends stop joking about it?

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  • Theres a lot of black girls who only date white guys and if your happy with dating whites guys then why change anything and if you really want a black guy that bad then I'm sure there's one who would like you for you

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What Girls Said 4

  • wow! you sound just like me lol..i have always lived in predominantly white neighborhoods, maybe because I was adopted into a white family. lol All my experiences with guys have been white, the current guy I am seeing is white...I know how you feel..I feel like I would not fit in with a group of black people which sounds really bad...I think black guys are hot but I have never really had one as a friend.

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  • Uh, there's nothing wrong with it. Just stick with what you like. I'm white and have only dated/hooked up with black guys. its just about your preference. but I think its wrong to assume that black people act a certain way, or that being a certain class and maybe not as refined has anything to do with their race. it has to do with history and economics.

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  • You have to be really careful with your wording because you are stigmatising ALL African Americans by saying " I was never exposed to a typically black area or lifestyle, meaning I don't walk talk dress or act ghetto". There are loads of ghetto and trailer trash whites! Behaviour and mannerism depends on your social class, environment and upbringing!

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  • Honestly yeah I think that's weird when I hear about a black person who has ONLY dated outside their race. but I can understand if you lived in a predominately white town, you didn't have enough black guys to choose from. but if you lived in a major city then that's just weird

    That being said, I can kinda relate to you, I grew up around mostly white people so I did date white guys when I was younger because that's who I was around most. But when I moved to an area with more black people I dated them. Even to this day I still get the "you seem like you like white boys" comment but I can still relate to african american guys as long as they're not really ignorant and overly hood. I consciously made an effort to date more black guys, even if you are a "white"black girl if you are cute and can find some common ground you can have success with black guys

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