Don't just sit around looking cute/hot/sexy waiting for guys to approach you. About females and dating, a piece of simple advice...

...don't just sit around looking cute/hot/sexy waiting for guys to approach you.

From what I've seen, females that approach guys they fancy have better luck (I use that word loosely) when it comes to relations. You can be proactive & choose the guys that you want, instead of just waiting around.

When it comes to life, nobody is successful by simply taking handouts & not being proactive. The same when it comes to dating. The "handouts" in this case are players, jerks, & overall non-ideal specimens of the male species.

If you want the best of anything in life (in this case, guys) a go-getter & you'll get better results. It ain't rocket science. :)

Share your thoughts, please. Both genders are welcome to state their opinions on this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • They have better luck when it comes to RELATIONS (sexual partners, casual relationships) but not when it comes to serious relationships where the guy values her and loves her. I've found that when a man has been genuinely interested in me as a person, he always eventually approached me or made a move. The guys who don't make moves on you, are the ones who are fairly ambivalent about you. Now that's not to say that every guy who approaches you is genuinely interested in you.

    I don't sit around looking for guys. I make myself available, approachable, and I put myself in situations where the guy I want will notice me. He does the rest.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree about the give and take. In my current relationship, I was the one who made the first move, and I was the one who kept putting myself in situations where we'd run into each other, but I left it up to him to reciprocate.

    Like icanbme already said, I want to know that the guy I'm after is interested in me because I'm ME, not just because I asked him out and hey, why not?

    • I agree with your method to get your dude. You did some "work", not just sitting/standing around. That's what I'm talking about. :)

  • I think there needs to be give and take like anywhere else in a relationship. I don't want to be with a guy who's just with me because I asked and making out with me is more fun then watching paint dry.

    • I'm not saying for ladies to do ALL the work...although the whiny "nice guys" may want you to lol.

      I'm referring to the females that do ZERO approaching yet complain about the guys they get. What these females tend to not realize is that, to be frank...



      they're not choosing the guys @ all; they take simply what is in front of them.

      Don't be one of those females, Ms. bme.

  • I've found that guys think you're low value if you make the first move. Only guys who are totally socially awkward wallflowers wouldn't.

    • That is absolute nonsense. Maybe guys just didn't notice you until you approached them. ''Handouts'' such as players always approach women and want to sleep with them and then leave. Does the fact that they approached you mean they think you're high value, despite the fact they leave right after the get what they want from you? Doesn't seem like it.

    • Show All
    • You either are or aren't. players go after low value chicks with a different technique is what I mean. They go for the relationship w high value and for sex with low value.

    • Fair enough. But that still doesn't mean a guy will think you're low value if you make the first move. That shows confidence and confidence can tie in with having a high sense of value of yourself.

What Guys Said 4

  • You should write one of those article things and expand on it.

    • It's definitely a thought...cauz I started my new job writing it may take awhile lol.

    • well if you do, update this question with a link to it so I can read it =)

  • Man is a genius make him a moderator. I have the same outlook on it

    • It's such a simple idea, right? Western society has advanced greatly in the past 400yrs...except for the dating "game" lol.

  • I agree. That makes a lot of sense.

  • While I agree women should take a proactive approach if they feel strongly for someone, this question makes me think it is another quiet, "nice guy" who is too scared to talk to women begging for women to take the lead. I could be completely wrong, but that's the impression I get. While it is 2011, women still expect men to take the lead for the most part.

    • Trust me, Mr. Annonymous...i'm not one those whiny "nice guys" that tend to flood this site.

      How DARE you mistake me as one of those ppl...just kidding, dude; I ain't tripp'n. 8-)

      It's funny how women want & strive for equality, yet don't use this gained social leverage in the dating game to find better mates. Funny how we have more equality between the genders...yet some women still act like it's the 1700's & refuse to approach a dude.

      Ladies, you have the power of use it. :)