Started over. Now he doesn't kiss me. I don't understand. Read.

We went on our first date 4 months ago. we dated for about a month. we kissed, had some hot make out sessions and held hands etc. well after a month or so we weren't official and he was still talking to other girls and I over reacted and thought he was just wasting my time. I told him to delete my number and I didn't want to talk anymore. 3 weeks later he called me and said he messed up and he knows what he wants now. he asked if we could be friends and maybe he can get his second chance. so we started talking again. we go on dates and hang out with his friends. I've met his parents and some of the family. Its going great I think...the thing is that since we have started going out again he doesn't really kiss me or even hold my hand like before. if he does kiss me its like at the end of the date and its a quick no tongue kiss on my lips. and he's only taken my hand once when we were sitting down just talking. I'm pretty sure he's not waiting to see what I do because before he had no problem making the first move. I don't want to have sex yet, but I do like to make out and fool around just a little bit. I have no problem taking things slow, but I don't know if that's what he's doing. What do you guys think? Guys do you ever hold out on a girl like this? Why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, the good news is that he's still asking you to do things with him, and he wouldn't do that unless he liked you.

    There are two good reasons that he wouldn't be making a move to make out with you right now. First, you freaked out on him before, so he may want to go slower this time. And second, he may not want to get himself all worked up if he knows it's just going to end with him going home frustrated.

    Regarding exclusivity, that usually comes with at least SOME form of sexual outlet. So before when you two still weren't official and he was still talking to other girls, that totally makes sense if you weren't at a point where anything sexual was happening. (Not saying that you should've been getting him off if you weren't ready, just explaining why he may still consider himself "on the market."

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What Guys Said 7

  • jealousy is a bit*h isn't it? You over-reacted for no reason, try picturing yourself in his shoes, you would too take it slow now too, because of the drama that happened the first time you were dating, there's no reason to worry now really, just take things as they come... if it's bothering you that much, and reallllly want to fool around a bit, talk to him about the issue! Orrr... get wasted and go to a club :))

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    • i wasn't jealous the first time. its just that the first time I thought we had a mutual relationship...we were getting kinda serious and then all the sudden he didn't want to talk to me. so I thought there was another girl and that's when I didn't want to waste my time. I just think its weird that he doesn't kiss me for real after seeing him all the time for almost 2 months.

  • He may think that you believe him to be a player, because of the misunderstanding that happend. Now he wants to prove that he really cares about you, and not just your body. If this is effecting your relationship then you need to talk to him about it. If you can't talk to your boyfriend about the problems in your relationship, then the two of you have bigger issues you need to deal with.

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  • He just wants to take it slow. First time round you two went too fast, and too furious :p It may have been too much for him, now he wants to try again, but develop a meaningful relationship that isn't just physical. He has good intentions, just be patient and I'm sure that in time you will get your makeout sessions.

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  • why are you so worried? just take it slowly. I think he's being careful because of the previous event, which is good... So just take it slowly. If things are right, then kissing and some fooling around is on its way

    don you think?

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    • well I worried because its been almost 2 months...and we aren't official but he acts like it. so I don't know what's going on. I've been going with the flow because I really do like him a lot.

  • Hello! I come from China, want to be your friend

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  • Like others said, it's better to take things slowly in the beginning

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  • He wants to take things slowly

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe he just Wants you guys to have a realationship and before he maybe just thought of you as just some random chik I think it's very mature that he's taking it slow maybe he just wants to get on the right track w you

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  • The previous incident is what's probably causing the hesitation and the time you guys spent not talking to each other would have definately let the flame cool down a bit. Don't think too into it and just give it time. If nothing changes and the hold out continues, you should ask him if something feels different for him because things haven't been the same since you guys got back together.

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  • I'm in the same situation, so will you let me know what you do and if it works? Please

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    • Never did kiss me. He did what he did the first time. We went out on a Saturday and then I never heard from him again. It's weird. We are still friends via Facebook and he's officially dating some other girl. And I'm with someone else. I haven't talked to him since the last time I saw him

    • Thanks! I'm glad you're finally happy. I'm about to do what you did to my guy and tell him he's just wasting my time...Wish me luck ;)

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