Dated neighbor...shouldn't have...need help to calm the storm?

Guess my summary says it all. Basically, I moved into my apartment complex and same week, good looking guy moved in the apartment across the walkway.

We went on a few dates, talked. I haven't dated in years (single mom). He is six years younger than me and he's divorced but no kids.

Conversations were good and all but on the third or fourth day, I got the intuition this guy was just chasing tail and I was the convenient girl next door. I didn't say anything at that point, just kept it to myself. We almost had sex that night but decided not to, that it should wait. Slowly, his hanging around seemed to taper off.

We went on a date on Saturday eve a week into it. At restaurant, he'd make conversation but whenever it was my turn to talk, he'd get lost staring at waitress's boobs & turn around to me and say, "huh?" I was offended by this but still didn't say anything. He called off rest of the date on account of "tummy ache." I felt blown off because I paid $30 for a babysitter, felt least he could do on his end was finish the evening.

After we got home, I called to tell him that I didn't think was gonna work because we are neighbors & if we got in a fight, it would be awkward. I asked if he'd come talk about it and from that point, a text war ensued. I also wanted slower relationship because of job, trying to fit in time w/my kids, etc. I felt like if he's the person for me, he'd be patient.

Next night, I felt like I may as well get the booty call if it was going to be over anyway so I invited him over & we had a meaningless sexual encounter. (Turned out to be a $100 booty call as you'll read below.)

Next day, we had another text war. Let me also add that before our Saturday night date (the one called off for "tummy ache", I googled and found out that he had a warrant for a DUI. During the final text war, that came up but more of a suggestion for him to go pay it & take care of it. It was the first entry in google, I didn't have to search hard to find his DUI warrant but from there, I got painted as psycho stalker on his facebook.

I have NOT texted, called, or spoke to him for one week officially. Problem is that as I told him, its awkward now to even go on my porch to have a smoke or take my dog out to potty because his living room window is 10 feet away.

Looking on his facebook back for a 2 year period, he seems like a bitter, jaded person & I feel like my intuition is right. I'm not a stalker girl but feel like I have a right to google any potential mate for arrests & warrants because I have kids.

Is there any constructive way to at least end the war between us so we can go back to being neighbors in harmony...no relationship, just neighbors. Also, the one time sex w/him led to $100 worth of antibiotics so no, no relationship w/that EVER but I just want to get along so I don't have to move & break my lease. I haven't told him he gave me a disease, figured that would get me painted REALLY bad on facebook.

Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Neighbors in harmony"? With the bitter, jaded guy who burned you on a one-night stand and stuck you with the bill?

    Realistically, no.

    Ride out the lease without speaking a word to him. If you can find someone reliable to sublet, even better. Once the lease is up, leave in silence.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wow what sh*tty luck huh!?

    Damn, my advice would be to just ignore the outbursts of his inner child and live in your own harmony.. If you wanna go outside, go outside. Just don't go out of your way to be rude to him regardless of what he's doing to you. If he can't show similar maturity, then just file a complaint against him with the local police. And should/if you ever feel that your children are in jeopardy -> Result to the good 'ol frying pan upside the head.. Once he's unconscious, you can dispose of the body at the local gay-night-only pub. He'll never know what hit him ;D

    Seriously though, learn from it and take it with a grain of salt. The best way to handle these situations is just to go about your day like it doesn't bother you at all.. Eventually he'll see it's pointless to even try disturbing you.. And if he doesn't get the hint after a few weeks, just collect the texts/facebook statuses and how you've addressed him to stop, take it to the cops and let them deal with it.. After all, you got your kid(s) and work life to focus on.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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  • Just ignore him, he doesn't sound like anyone you want to be friends with, unless he has a truck or something.

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