Online Dating - Humor Mishap? - Female Perspective needed!

Allo, totally fantabulous beautiful and did I mention amazing GAG community.

Okay now here is the dealio. I've very recently joined a online dating site and was perusing the profiles when I came upon a interesting one. It basically said she was humorous from her toe to the hair in her nostrils, (okay not the exact words but I'm humorous was sprinkled throughout her profile). So I was interested and sent her a email on something she said that caught my attention the most. It went along the lines of "when it comes to me throw the rule book out the window".

So my response was something to the effect

"OMG, I don't even know you and you're bossing me around telling me to throw a rulebook out the window! How are you going to get anyone to talk to you if you're already bossing them?"

Her response was that I was rude, that she was joking about the rulebook and blocked me from further contact.

So is her response correct or what? I'm relatively new to online dating and wonder if I need to curtail a bit for this digital medium. Now it doesn't bother me that she has blocked me, as she doesn't even know me. However, it will be relatively useful to know if I somehow breached a online social meaness barrier thingahmabob.

Thank ya everyone. Love ya all.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey. :)

    I will say that you've encountered the #1 issue with online dating...it's online. What we THINK say online (you thought you were innocently joking and teasing) and what the other person interprets (in your case, her perceived rudeness of your words) leaves a lot of wiggle room...

    Unfortunately there is no intonation when you read something. You take it for what it is. So with that said, maybe be a bit more cautious next time. Make sure the girl knows you're joking, add on a JK or lol or :P face so she knows you aren't completely serious.

    This girl's reaction was a bit absurd because her profile indicated that she had a sense of humor so she reacted kind of badly. But it is what it is. She's clearly not for you. Good luck with online dating!

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    • What we THINK we say online*

      Damn it I hate typos.

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    • :d. Uh huh you like how the word is spelt. But the word isn't the only thing in the picture.

      Since it seems you like art, due to all that art in your profile, I thought you might have a more interesting reason.

      As the picture shows a multitude of things to me. A love of music. Showing love. Missing someone who maybe in the music biz (hand over heart). Face facing away from love means not found love. Loving to lay down on a bed and listen. But yes I agree...how the word is spelt is neat! :).

    • I do have a newfound appreciation and love of (good) art. :) I couldn't agree with you more. I was at school so I prattled off a response without really thinking. I love your assessment of my profile pic!

What Girls Said 5

  • Just next time don't forget to put LOL at the end so they don't get the wrong idea remember they can't see by your facial expression or hear the tone of your voice so they are going by what your writing so its not as easy to tell if your if your joking etc

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    • Huh right...tone...that isn't important is it? I'm tone deaf.

      J/K See practicing already. :).

  • OMG is she freaking out over nothing... o.O

    It's obviously a joke, you could replys "your sense of humour isn't as sharp as you described"

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    • Dude I totally wish I could reply but she blocked me. Its alright though since now I know she isn't for me if this is how she reacted. Good for me to know and I move on. :).

  • ok so you were joking but she picked it up wrong - easily done when you're reading an email or a text! You don't get the person's tone. Best thing to do would have been to put a 'lol' or a smiley face on the end to show that you were joking. Re-read what you wrote but in a nasty tone and you will get what she got from it! So make sure you use smileys, etc to show when you're joking or being cute! Good luck with your search!

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    • I've totally tried running it through with the nasty tone, but...no go. Its really hard to say OMG in a nasty tone. Seriously, would like a lighting bolt strike me if I said OMG in a nasty tone. :).

      Thanks for the luck! It totally worked yo! Got my absolute first coffee predate thing that I'm totally hyped up for. GRAWR XD.

    • yeay! go you :D

  • Its hard to know if someone is joking or not when you can't talk to them to their face and if I read that I would think it was a bit rude because it doesn't look like a joke if you know what I mean :)

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    • Huh weird. To me it is. The OMG is a over reaction. The bossing me around telling her I got her joke and is responding to it with another joke. I mean bossing someone around through her profile? :d. But oh well humor is subjective.

  • You know, the best option is to be more cautions than not. She's obviously sensitive, she may be the type who likes to dish it but can't take it. So as soon as someone crossed the line she flips! It's deff not your fault. I wouldn't have taken that offensively at all, it was obviously in a joking manner. So I think that next time I would save those playful things for in person. Because things can't be filtered right on the internet. We can't see your facial expression, hear your tone of voice etc. I think she wouldn't have taken it so wrong if you had put a "haha I'm just kidding of course :)" and then she would have seen there was nothing offending about it. :) Always use caution when trying to make sarcastic jokes on the internet, alway accompany them with a just kidding or something if they COULD be taken the wrong way. Best of luck!

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    • Thank you anon. You are as wise and gorgeous and all that as you are totally anonymous. :).

      Thanks for the luck! It totally worked yo! Got my absolute first coffee predate thing that I'm totally hyped up for. GRAWR XD.

    • Haha glad I could help! :) That's awesome! How exciting! Good luck again :D!

What Guys Said 3

  • I laughed at "rulebook" quote, girl has a good sense of humor. You should develop one too. She didn't meant to be bossy. Instead of your "business-like" reply, I'd suggest to respond with something that holds some kind of joke inside too, like "Crap, and I've been worshiping it like a bible" and then proceed to a more usual conversation.

    Although she's not exactly correct about being rude, I guess she simply wanted to point at your lack of sense of humor.

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    • Thank ya gorgeous! I'll work on it! =).

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    • That didn't really sounded like a joke :P

    • Huh weird. To me it is. The OMG is a over reaction. The bossing me around telling her I got her joke and is responding to it with another joke. I mean bossing someone around through her profile? :d. But oh well humor is subjective.

  • Digital communication is difficult enough, without the added stress of trying to find a partner in the process. Either she would see the funny side or she wouldn't. I'd shrug it off and move to the next possible interesting profile you find.

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    • Thank ya Mr. Fantabulous for an stupendous answer! =).

  • Just add smile faces next time...

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