Who pays for the date-the guy or the girl?

How often does the girl pay and how often does the guy pay? I've been dating this guy for about 2 1/2 months, (we've been on 10 dates in that time), and when we go out, he wants the bill split 50/50, or I get one meal and he gets the next...is this how most people date? Is this normal? Or should I think that because he doesn't want to pay for me, that he's not interested in a serious relationship and that he's just looking for casual fun? My ex-boyfriend would pay like 85 % of the time, so I'm not sure if this guy likes me or what he's thinking...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's difficult to say really. I've dated quite a bit, and a guy has never let me pay before we were in a relationship. Once we're in one, I offer to pay pretty often, although the guy still usually ends up paying more just because he wants to. During the just "dating" phase though...I've never experienced this before. No guy has ever asked me to split the bill, and when I offered they never let me. I say if it works for you then great, but you seem to have some doubts about it so maybe he's not the right guy for you. The only major rule I have about the paying thing is that he pays for the first date (if he asks). If he asked me to split on the first date, when he asked me on the date to begin with, I wouldn't go out with him again. That's just telling me he doesn't care at all about impressing me or being a gentleman. (It would be a major sign that he's either cheap or a hit it and quit it guy).

    Outside of that though, if you're cool with the arrangement, then great. If not, maybe start seeing someone else.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Its normal. Times are different and the economy is f***ed up. If you want the guy to pay than date an old fashion kinda guy... maybe someone in their 50s or 60s.

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  • Are you dating this guy for a free lunch or are your dates based more on an emotional level?



    When I met my girlfriend I paid for the first date then we split it. She wanted to split the bill because she has self respect and didn't want to be brought like an object and I respect that. We have a great relationship based on love and respect NOT based on the size of my wallet!

    When I here women on dating sites go on about looking for that "old fashioned" guy who treats her and takes her out for dinner all she seems to be saying is "I'm a vagina come and get (pay) it" I know that sounds a little crude but that's how it comes across.

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  • For the first date, the person who does the asking should be willing to pay.

    Anytime after that, I think 50/50 should be the norm, but some guys insist on paying every time. I don't really know of anytime where the girl always insists on paying, but I'm sure it's happened. Basically in any given couple, neither person should be expected to pay every time, but it's not a bad thing if one person wants to.

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  • If you do not find this arrangement equitable then you should stop dating his cheap ass.

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    • True that

    • Cheap ass for wanting 50/50? That sounds like something some inscure guy would say who believes the way to a womans heart or knickers is through his wallet.

    • cool it bra I'm not always 1000% sincere and straightforward

  • Dating isn't cheap. Just dinner (at someplace that's not fast food) and a movie for two will likely run an absolute minimum of $30, not even factoring in extra expenses (gas, popcorn/drinks, appetizers/desert). That adds up pretty quickly, and asking you to pay just for your expenses is fair. If you don't like it, find someone else.

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  • The person who asks, pays.

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    • I think the system you guys worked out is fantastic. I definitely wouldn't want to pay every time when in a relationship. I'd feel like I was being used. Period. Fair is fair.

What Girls Said 6

  • Have you looked at oil prices? Have you looked at the direction of the economy? They say it's getting better, but people are still in a bad place. It's reasonable of him to want to split the price. 2 1/2 months.. that's like a date every week. $40 for 2 people to eat is usually the low end of the average, so that's $400 to spend on dates at MINIMUM. It's not that he's not into you, it's just that it's hard to afford something like that when there's so much other stuff dragging people down financially. I always offer to play half, or I'll catch a bill when I'm allowed :P There was one guy that refused everytime, so every now and then I'd go order some carry out for him from a nice restaurant, and order his favorite steak and take it over to him.

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  • It's a new day and age where the guy doesn't pay for everything all the time. I personally like to pay 50/50 most of the time. I will do what you guys did where one pays for one date and the other pays for the next date. This does not mean that your partner does not like you, blame the economy. The only time I really see a couple pay for each other is if they have been dating for 2+ years or if they are married.

    An extra bit of advice, do not compare your new guy to your old ones. You will never be happy if you do. Each person is new and will never be exactly like the last, so don't compare them in anything you do.

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    • You're so right about not comparing the two men, because they are two totally different people. I have to remind myself of that, lol. Thanks for the input :)

    • Sure. If you have questions, just message me.

  • It's kind of hard to say "yeah, he's not into you" just because of this paying thing because I don't know your whole situation. I don't know if the splitting things 50/50 thing is the norm, but it happens enough. I also don't know if maybe your boyfriend doesn't have enough money to be paying for a full dinner or something.

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  • Me and my boyfriend split the costs all the time. Soetimes I treat him and sometimes he treats me, in the end we both feel equal. Just depends who has the money at the time.I never expect him to pay and he never expects me to pay.

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  • girl

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  • guy

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