I have read a number of posts now both from male and females who are genuinely terrified of initiating or expressing their feelings to a crush. Some men are resentful of being expected to lead and even in some cases carry on the entire courtship which I understand. Many men are now over analyzing just as much as they claim women do and both sexes are searching for a no risk guarantee that they will be successful. With no one able to read anyone else's signals because they second guess everything and with no one willing to just approach for fear of coming off too desperate how is it that relationships actually begin? Also what's with the Bipolar behavior? I am very confused when I read a post that says something like he didn't call me back so I ignored him for a week and flirted with this other guy in front of him to make him jealous. First of all if you actually like a person why would you try and hurt them? And why would you flirt with or even sleep with someone else? And secondly how on earth do you expect someone to understand that type of hot/cold behavior? People aren't psychic and yet telepathically we are trying to communicate everything with a smile or gaze and we get pissed off when they don't get it and scared or turned off when they do. Manyl women seem to think guys are totally turned off by a woman who asks them out or just openly expresses her feelings and many guys on here have said outright they wish to god a woman would just be clear and initiate. Guys are you actually turned off by a woman who initiates and assumes a more active role in courtship? How much is too much and places a woman in the danger zone of looking too desperate or too slutty? Why is no one willing to be themselves? You guys do realize that sooner or later the person will figure out who you are and if you've lied to them they will probably break up with you or at least you'll have hurt their trust. You also realize that even if you win the affections of your crush its not you they like its this illusion you've put up, so your virtually alone anyways. I am truly stumped. When I was in the dating scene people just said who like they liked and I was upfront and no one ran of screaming. Now I try to make a friend with a person and they are suspicious as hell. Why are people so paranoid? I don't want to hear about this being a more dangerous time or a harder time to live in, its actually not roughly it always levels out. I fully understand wanting to take time this isn't a criticism against people who move at a different pace or really on anyone. I would just love to know if I wanted a date how would I get one in the modern dating scene?
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The majority of relationships now start online. With the freedom to essentially be whoever you want in the on-line world, meeting in person will very often reveal the lies. It's understandable that meeting someone for the first time without meeting them on-line first can generate some suspicions. In today's digital world you know a lot more about someone before you even meet them for the first time. So by the time you have a first date, you essentially already know something about the person your dating regardless of it's honesty or not. This style of dating that we have access to also opens up a much larger realm of possible dates. Nobody wants to waste time on someone that might not even like them when they have so many other options to choose from. That's just the way I see it anyway. Beyond that, I'm more or less in the same place you are lol.1