Guys, can you explain temptation of online dating?

so I've been talking to this guy for a few months now...we text and talk all the time, morning, noon, and night. we hang out at least once a week, including some sleeping over. but we both are still online in terms of online dating. I would get off for him, but he doesn't seem ready. he feels he has his own speed with things and as long as he is showing me attention, and not hooking up with other girls while with me, that it shouldn't matter. obviously I am not that naive, it means he's not ready to commit. but we are so great together, and I know he knows that too. can guys explain this to me? is it the temptation of online dating, a fear of committing too early, or what? some history: we're both divorced, have kids, both our marriages ended with the other partner cheating. He's in his 30s like me.

we've only known each other 3 months, hung out for 2 months (just talked/texted/emailed first month). should I give it more time? I do plan on going on dates in the meantime...my feeling is if he can look, I might as well keep my options open too. but really, I'm only interested in him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • hmm, well I'm sure he's aware that you two go together pretty well. Its hard to relate, I'm only 23 and I don't know the stress of being in the 30s and divorced with kids is like... maybe he wants a little more time before he commits to a woman all over again. 2-3 months is a little too soon even for a guy my age to give my full commitment to.

    My advise is to be yourself, show him how much of a honest awesome charming lady you are. Just don't count on him, because if for any reason he doesn't come around, id hate to see you heartbroken. Keep your options open and text him every now and then, just to show him that your there for him...

    hope that helps.

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    • it does help, thanks. :) I feel that as long as I show I'm interested in him but at the same time show him I'm not some wallflower who will just wait around for him, that I'm at least giving it my all without looking like a clingy girl...which would make him run I'm sure lol.

    • oh yea, for sure. Nobody likes someone whos clingy. The only thing that you can honestly do is show him your there when he needs you, that's pretty much it.

    • thanks, I agree. and at the same time show him I'm my own person of value...maybe it'll work out! :)

What Guys Said 2

  • 3 months is a very short time to be seeking commitment. The experts say you don't really know some one until 2 years has passed. If you are thinking of a life long commitment then you should be willing to date him with no commitment until he decides for him self. If you push for it too soon that might just tell him you are impatient and not truly interested in getting to know him. If really is as good as you say then it will still be good after 2 years. And yes, you both should keep your options open until then.

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  • That's just the way it is these days, everybody wants to keep their options open for as long as possible.

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    • so after only a few months, I shouldn't feel like it's a hopeless situation? should I not take it personally? should I believe him that I'm the one he is interested at the moment, he just isn't ready to jump all the way in yet? the best thing I could do is keep my options open too, so it's not like I'm just waiting for him to make up his mind, right?

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    • Only you can say. It all depends on how secure you are. He may never be ready for anything serious... then where does that leave you? On the other hand, you have only been hanging out for a couple of months...you both came out of a crappy marriage... so I don't blame him for being a little gunshy.

      I think you're on the right track with this guy, you can't put your life on hold while he figures it out. But I wouldn't necessarily say dump him, either.

    • thanks for all the great feedback. :)

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