I'm starting to fall for someone else! What should I do?

So... I have a fiance, and I do have feelings for him and love him, but the thing is he's broken my trust so many times doing inappropriate things with random girls online and giving them pictures of his male parts and asking for nude pics from them. He's done with that now, but now, he won't even have sex with me or touch me anymore... :/ I've been talking to this other guy online and he is very sweet and handsome and says that he really likes me and wants to be with me, and I'm finding myself liking him a lot, too... I just don't know if I should leave my fiance and pursue this or not... What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know it seems difficult to walk away, but if you don't see a way that this can be mended now, there's no reason to 'stick it out' just for the sake of having been together for so long. If it doesn't feel right to you and him and it seems mutual, don't stick around hoping you'll get through it unless you both feel you can truly communicate and open up about how this makes you BOTH feel.

    No one can truly tell you what to do or how to feel in this situation. My best advice, is to look within and really make that decision as to whether you feel this is someone who you want to stay with, if it is, things in the relationship, on both ends will need to be addressed and communication needs to become more open. It can work, but don't force it to if you don't feel for yourself or him that it's possible.

    Running off to get into another relationship is really not a great solution. But, I can't make that kind of judgment either because I don't know how you and this other guy feel towards each other and he may possibly be someone to help you become more open to communicating in a relationship.

    With all of the advice given here, I have a feeling you've already made up your mind regardless, and you need an answer reassuring it...but let me say, even if you don't see the answer that agrees with what YOU want to do, who cares? Follow your heart is the very best advice I can give you, not as a 'common line', but because popular opinion doesn't always necessitate 'right and wrong', No one here knows any more than you what will make you ultimately happiest...and that's the real solution you're looking for isn't it? Feeling right about the choice you want to make? But the 'right'est choice, is the one that truly feels most right for YOU. And anyone who advises you otherwise and would try to convince you otherwise, will end up happy for you later, when they see and can agree that you did make the right choice for you. And the rest that don't...then who's happiness and sense of righteousness were they really looking out for...yours? Or theirs?

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What Guys Said 5

  • Well what your fiance was doing was considered cheating and now he won't touch you? Sounds like a catch ^o) It's at your discretion. Try talking to your fiance about these issues before running into the arms of someone else.

    ~Distant

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  • It seems like you guys are in a shaky relationship, he is flirting around, you are flirting around, none of you are having sex. Maybe marriage is not the best thing. At least not at the moment. You should talk to each other and careful not to do anything as a reactance to your fiances behavior (e.g. go for the other guy because your boyfriend isn't sleeping with you).

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    • You're right. I actually just recently started talking to this other guy I'm starting to like though. My fiance's been doing that since the beginning of our relationship... With the other guy, we only started talking with the intention of just being friends, and I told him about my fiance, but it seems it's escalated into something more.

    • If you feel like your fiance is not the right guy for you then good you should break up. Having the other guy I guess is a benefit since he will be able to console you.

    • the problem is. I think that's all this other guy will be. a guy to "console you". then once uve gotten over your ex, ull lost the feelings for this new guy, I've noticed this happen with many women and have experienced it myself, an ex of mine broke up with her boyfriend for me only to find out that it was just so she could get over him and she moved on from me. if your gonna move on, move on because he's a bad guy, not because of another. like the girl said down below, you should be having fun, not engaged

  • no offense but your fiance sounds like a bit of a d***. I say find out what's up with the other guy.

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  • For one, you shouldn't marry your fiancee. If you think things will get better by marrying, you're are deeply mistaken.

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  • don't be with someone you can't trust. that's it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you're not even 25 and you're engaged?! D: The fact that you are falling for someone else so quickly should show you that you are not ready for a commitment as serious as marriage. My advice is to move and go have fun, give yourself some time to understand what you want and need in life. Marriage is a responsibility, not a fun game.

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  • Leave him and pursue the guy.

    You can be certain if you were caught sending naked pics & turning him down for sex people would be telling him to dump you.

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