Advice needed on online 'relationship'?

I've been talking to this guy online for around 6 months and all was going well. He is 7 years older than me (I am 20, he is 27) so we thought it would be best if we got to know each other properly as in likes/dislikes, turn ons/off etc etc before we met up. He lives around 200 miles away from me but we started talking about a long distance relationship and what the pros and cons of this would be. We can talk for hours on end about the most random things but yesterday, I recieved a message of him telling me he thinks he is falling for me but he needs time to think about how 'we' would work.. What does he mean? Also, he knows I have very little self confidence so why is he doing this to me knowing I'll be thinking all sorts? Do I just leave him to get things together in his head or do I still talk to him as friends and mention nothing else about a relationship? Any advice given would be much appreciated. Thanks x


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He told you he needs time to think so give him space. Don't contact him until he comes around and talks to you again with his decision. Don't drive yourself crazy in the meantime thinking though. Go out with friends, study for your finals, go for a walk, read that book you've been meaning to...something to distract yourself.

    And it might suit you to think about your guys' situation as well. Is it really worth it? Could you really not find someone like him closer to home? Do you really think you'd be compatible? All this work to just maybe meet up...?

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    • Mostly agree, but if it gets too long leave little drops here and there about saying how you miss him and hope he's doing OK. Breaking off contact ENTIRELY is going to make the guy think you're not really interested. Guys like to be shown that they are cared about too :\ there's a difference between giving him space and just out right not contacting to him at all.

      Just saying.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's easy to live in a fantasy while you're talking online. He means that he needs to really think about it's going to work out. Who moves where? Living situations and the realization that things are far more serious. He means that sort of thing. If he's gone for more than a week, then something fishy is up.

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    • Agree. It's hard to figure the finer details out in a long distance relationship, but at the same time, 200 miles isn't that far away. You guys could meet up as friends and after spending a little time together physically, it might be a little clearer to both of you as to what it is you should do about this relationship. I'd say hi to him every now and then, and make a little bit of friendly chatter just to let him know you're still around, but don't start long drawn out convos

What Girls Said 1

  • It is easy to freak out a little when you realize that an "online fantasy" is turning into something more serious and real. So just give him time to figure out what he wants. And as the others has said; maybe you should take this time to figure out where you stand in this relationship.

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