1st Date Etiquette - He asked for the date but didn't pay :(

Things have really really changed. I was asked out recently and said yes. We went to an inexpensive restaurant and I ordered something under $12 dollars [and drank water]. When the bill came the guy just sat there. He didn't reach for the bill or say anything. He excused himself and then came back. We started talking... after about 5 minutes of us continuing to talk, I said "Do you want to go havsies" and he said sure but my wallet is in my car can I pay you back. I paid, we walked to his car and he gave me 1/2 the amount. Then he escorted me to my car. Before he left he asked if we could go out again. In my head, I am thinking [NO] but to be nice I said, we'll see when our schedules match up again.

I am the kinda girl that if a guy asks me out he should pay [I'll get the tip] and then on the next date, I'll pay. Future dates, either one of us can pay, but the burden isn't on one person. I just feel strongly about the 1st date being paid by the guy. I don't ask men out so my paying on the first date wouldn't occur. The good news is that I am asked out a lot so I don't have to settle, but the bad news is that I notice that a lot of guys don't pay on the 1st date? What happened? I musta missed the memo about 1st date etiquette changing.

What do you think should happen on the first date? Who should pay?

BTW: I work part-time with no benefits and he has a full time job with benefits so 'no' I don't make more money then him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly what you mean! It's fair like the guy shouldn't pay all the time and sure if the girl wants to then she should be allowed however the offers always nice :-)

    I went out with this guy just to the movies once, he seemed like an alright kinda guy, bit too 'needy' for my choice or slightly (don't know what the word for it is but like when you feel a bit 'creeped out' by them) but went along to give him a chance. He doesn't drive, though he's got a license. I do drive, when we got there he says he's 'got no money in his account', so I end up paying for him and for his food! I mean halves is fair enough but he asks me and now I'm paying for him and me!? And then after I also have to drive him home! He got a lift there, yet he hadn't arranged one to go home, just expected me to drive him instead of calling his lift. I had to travel 20 miles out of my way to take him home... I like a guy to be a bit more independant! Then after he persistantly texts me asking exactly when we can go out again, after I said the 'il have to check my schedule thing'... Seriously I just the wrote off the money instead! He ended up being like a bit of a stalker, did not want to see him again!

    But like most other guys I know would just pay for the girl, especially on the first date! :-)

    But in your case I do have to say I think it's a bit cheeky the way he went about it, going to the loo and then coming back and sitting there just expecting you to pay. He could have just said, 'I've left my wallet in the car, I'm just going to get it' couldn't he?

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What Guys Said 1

  • If I ask somebody out on a date, then I will feel obliged to pay. And I prefer to pay to avoid any embarrassment. I also feel they expect me to be a gentleman about it, so I will pay without making a big deal out of it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think whoever asks the other person on the date should pay. When you ask someone on a date, you know you have the money, but you aren't always sure of the other persons financial state at the moment, and by asking them on a date you are asking them to spend money to see you. It's just courtesy to pay for them. If I was you I wouldn't even bother with him anymore, specially how he expected you to pay for him as well. Sounds like a jerk.

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  • I don't really understand, I would think 50/50 is fair. :S

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