Ladies, what's your opinion of a guy who's been left by all his girlfriend when he was sweet & kind always?

So through the 19 years I've lived. I've had two serious relationships, deep emotional loving relationships.

For me, I'm a tough guy on the athletic field, but when off it, I'm always polite, genuine, nice to all, and thoughtful for others.

I always end up somehow, being dumped. I do not know why, the girls always tell me they think I'm "hot" or "cute" and "handsome".

Girls always tell me, I wish I had a toned guy, who was athletic and had nice muscles and a a sweet side to them. Yeah? Okay, I have all that. I'm not a D-head or an A-hole to girls.

So when I end up dating these girls, after a good 6-8 months they always leave me. I don't know why it is, they say they love me so much, blah blah blah. They tell me they just need time to think, when they just go out looking for another guy.

I'm getting to the point where, if I ever date again, I won't care what the girl thinks and I won't invest my time into them as much, and I won't respect them like a lil' princess as much as I have been doing so. I was always the more mature person in the relationship always keeping a cool head and would rationalize things and try to talk them through a calm conversation. So what it is about girls that just say a bunch of Bull-S. then leave me for another guy?

Any ladies opinions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sigh. The eternal question. Not gonna lie, half of us don't even know what the hell we want, so answering this ain't easy.

    But if I could say it in a nutshell: be respectful but don't be a sweetheart (all the time).

    Nice guys are good people, in general, not just as boyfriends. There should be more of them in the world because they make the world a better place, as do nice girls.

    But nice people often put their partners before themselves and this is where the problems start. Do this often enough and your girl will start to take things for granted, assume and look for the next challenge. It's the same for boys - if the girl is rot-your-teeth-sweet and hasn't a bad bone in her body, it's all nice and good but gets really old really soon because there's no surprise, no mystery, no liveliness to the relationship, you get EXACTLY what you see. And none of us want what we see, no matter how much we may deny. We want what we see and MORE.

    You're not a 2-dimensional person, no matter how you present yourself online or to women. You're more than just "athletic and nice," you have a ton of other sides and streaks to you, show them! As long as you're respectful to her, be however you want to be around her.

    There's no need to treat anyone like a "princess" because then she's going to start acting like one and no one wants that! Treat her like a WOMAN (not a "little princess" or little girl or any of those other things), an equal that you care about and one that isn't allowed to pull crap with you just as you're not allowed to pull anything with her. And if she has a problem with you not putting her on a pedestal, you got the wrong girl. No REAL long term relationship is going to last if the partners aren't on roughly equal footing.

    Part of this is human instinct, we all seek strong partners (ones that are at least as strong as us) and unfortunately, niceness is often misconstrued as weakness, for both genders. And you're not weak, so don't show only niceness.

    Hope this helped!

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    • Honest, and simple, yet straight forward, you my friend are the only person I've seen so far on here that have given the best detailed and straight forward answer.. You couldn't have said it nay better :D.

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    • Hey to the Answerer -- from the question guy. What's your name and who are you? could ya add me to the friends for any further advice if I ever need any?

      again. Thanks for your input. Means a lot.

    • No problemo. And there, not anonymous anymore, not sure how that got clicked to begin with, actually. So add me if you'd like, this website is what I do instead of studying for finals and doing term projects at the moment haha

What Girls Said 5

  • I know you've had enough, and no one would blame you, but you can't give up on being yourself (which sounds like THE ideal man) because there IS a girl who will appreciate it. So 2 bitches didn't, don't worry. You might be going insane in your own mind over it but if they already don't, eventually they'll realize what they had and miss it.

    You're probably doubting yourself because this has happened with 2 different girls, but it's not the end of the world. So they weren't the ones. If people leave you, they're doing you a favour because would you rather someone be with you for reasons other than love? No. You're assuming they left because you're too nice, etc, when you don't know if that's the case.

    The worse thing you can do is change who you are. If you're a nice guy, and you feel good about that, be a nice guy. If you think girls walk all over you, you can be firmer without becoming an asshole. I know a guy like you: treated the girl like gold, was the nicest guy you'd ever meet, then she left him and he's completely different now. She completely ruined him for other women. It hasn't helped him, he's just more depressed than ever. Don't dwell, keep being the guy you want to be and you'll attract the girls who love and appreciate you for it. And if they walk... don't assume it's you. Sometimes it's THEM.

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  • no I wouldn't leave if everything was ok

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  • My brother is a the same point as yourself. Just take a deep breath and look at the girls you are dating, do all of them have the same attitude or personality about them? It's probably not you, but the girls you are going after are natrual users.

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  • u've dated the wrong girls then. don't let a couple of bad experiences to change who you really r.

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  • Nothing really, sometimes things just don't work out. Every relationship is different.

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What Guys Said 2

  • you are just simply learning what a lot of us older guys had to learn at your age. and that is that girls say they want that picture perfect guy straight off the movies and as soon as they get them, they obtain that, they ditch them and usually for a bad boy. then the next step is (as you mentioned about yourself) you stop respecting them so much cause its too exhausting to keep giving your all and being a over the top prince charming for every girl only to get played around with. I used to be the same way. ALWAYS thinking of her and trying to think of making her happy and being thoughful but not be weak or a pansy. then one day you just run out of that energy after they play around enough with you. so you start to become the bad boy that don't give a $#IT and then girls start leaving their great guy bf's for you. it sucks but I went through it step by step and so has every guy I know that has lived long enough. they complain that chivalry is dead and this and that...they are right. And they killed it.

    Men are very simple creatures. We are easily conditioned. If we see something that gets all the girls, we will imulate that thing. If something repels girls, we will stop doing it. Girls go after $#itty guys, we will become $#itty guys. Girls go after nice guys, we become nice guys. Don't get me wrong...I HATE that it is this way because its not my nature to be a jerk and I was raised to be a gentleman and nice guy and that is how I feel comfortable but it just don't work. Are there exeptions? You bet. can you stay single and wait around for months/years to find them? that is up to each individual guy.

    Wish I had better news to give you on that one. Good luck.

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  • Sometimes women get sick of the good guy attitude and you need to put them into place some times. Don't be the nice guy all the time, show your mean streak. Don't use your fists and keep the words clean, but don't take sh*t all the time. Push someone at a club, cuss our a neighbour, or bump into a senior citizen. She┬┤ll get the message real quick that you're done being mr. pushover.

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