Talking to a guy online. How would you interpret this?

I was talking to a guy online for quite a while. For whatever reason, we stopped talking for about a month. I decided to email him (I'm really shy, so it took a lot for me to do that, after not talking to him for so long. The situation before we stopped didn't help, either). We just exchanged a few emails like, 'we haven't talked for a while', and 'how are you', and other I would rather not get into. So, I told him I missed talking to him. Then, he sends me the following quote: "The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love."

I wasn't sure how to take it. I was a bit shocked, because I understand, but... Ugh, I don't even know what I'm asking right now xD Just... how would you take that quote?

Also, we kept emailing after that quote, and I sent him a few songs. I sent him 2 emails, both saying, 'did you listen to them?' or something along those lines. AOL tells whether or not they read your emails, and he did. I haven't been sending any more emails, as I feel he has lost interest, just doesn't want to talk to me, or I'm annoying. Any advice on whether I should completely stop emailing him, or keep trying to talk to him?

I really appreciate any help. Thank you! =\

Updates:
Thank you all :3


I think I'm just gonna stop emailing. If he emails back, that's great and all.



Oh, and a couple people said that he might not be able to "like" me right now, I think you're right. We were talking about how a lot of bad things were happening in his life before we stopped emailing, and also that I'd get upset with him if he told me (I'm guessing an ex?).


So, again, thank you all! It really helped :3
For anyone who wants an update. I haven't sent any emails back, nor gotten any. I was bad, and unfortunately stalked a bit (very bad habit. I must stop). Ugh I'm creepy xD anyways! Nothing he posts helps me figure out anything, so... Yesm.


I did some thinking after posting this, and I have realized it was my fault in the end that we got like this. I just didn't handle anything well (I'm extremely socially awkward...). Uh... I suppose that's all. If anything new happens, I'll post if you like.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he probably just gave up. 7 months is an extremely long time to "think" about meeting someone. Normally in online dating you meet up for coffee or something anywhere from one to three weeks after you start talking, give or take. And once you meet it is only to see if their is chemistry there. There shouldn't be any pressure to "fall in love" right away.

    I think it would be a waste of time to wait 7 months and then finally meet someone only to discover we have zero chemistry. Real life interactions are not always the same. You get a feel for a person's facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and well, you know that.

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    • And by the way, I'm not saying this is your fault. It was a crappy thing for him to do. He sounds like he has no spine.

What Guys Said 15

  • In my point of view, he is trying to say that he had feelings for you but he may not be sure of it also, the quote is really nice and hearffelt..i guess he is trying to let you know..that he may be involved with some else right now and he doesn't want to be unfair to that person and to you as well..

    Since you haven't seen each other in person is really saddening but look on the bright side..he was able to give you a hint somehow..now it's up to you to either stay in contact or just let him go..but I guess it would be best if you stop right now even though you feel good about him..if he comes back around and your still free then go with it..but now best to get on with your life and enjoy it..who knows you might find someone along better..only time can tell =)

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  • The quote was clear enough: it's just not working for him. I suggest you move on and make a clean break of it. If I'm wrong, he'll come back around but I'm pretty confident that he's just waiting for you to figure it out.

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  • Sounds like he smoked too much pot before he emailed you.

    Actually, who the f*** writes like that? Does he think he's inside of some love movie? This guy himself is a bit confused about what exactly was going on between you two. Maybe something happened that caused lack of contact for a whole month...how did that happen? And during that time he thought you weren't interested so he gave up. Most likely he met somebody new or just lost interest in you and the fact that you contact him after a month made him write that buffoon email he sent. In any case, I would advise to write him a very clear and BLUNT email explaining the feelings you have for him, THE REASON why you haven't talked in a month AND then asking him if both you guys can continue were you left off AND finally...if he is NOT interested, if it is possible to just be friends. And don't send him any more songs.

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  • Please move on, this guy doesn't like you the same way.

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  • Uhh, I wonder why you even like this guy after he sent you that long ass quote that is very wishy washy. He doesn't have the decency to just directly tell you what's going on in his head so he skirts it by giving you some vague bs about love and relationships.

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  • How can you love someone online?

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    • my boyfriend of 2 years I met online

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    • but what about cam to cam?

  • Firstly I applaud your effort to break your "shy" habits. It is my opinion that in this day of equality for women, sadly, most have conveniently remained the passive partner in courtship. Sadly it sounds as he has moved on, and wishes the best for you in your efforts to do so also. Now get out there and say hello to someone who deserves your effort!

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  • You think you're in love with a person you talk to on the internet who you've never met?

    Alright champ.

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  • I really know what you're going trough but...perhaps you should stop... :s

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  • personally, you're giving him too much credit for something he didn't even write himself. its easy to sound romantic when you copy and paste. it'd just pretend as it was nothing more than him finding something nice on the internet, thinking it'd be romantic to send to you, and that's it.

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  • Um yeah move on. "let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough and move on when things are not like before"

    Emphasis on the last 8 words. Speaks for itself. Neeeeeeext :P

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  • well as a guy he's supposed to coax you to feel less awkward and realize your OK. Don't blame yourself for being socially awkward, that happens from either genetics, environment, traumatic experiences etc etc.. all things beyond your control as a human being.

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  • Long sentences!!!good difficult to read,i come from china,and my english is not very well

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  • i'd move on. don't waste your time. he just copied and pasted that quote anyway, which doesn't really mean anything or tell you what he's thinking.

    if he's lost interest, time for you to move on. nothing more to see.

    Also, he sounds a bit "wishy-washy."

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  • I think you should move on.

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What Girls Said 15

  • This story is fascinating. Both of you act like you had some huge love affair and you never met! There is no way this is a real relationship and it's funny how he's treating it as such. He basically stated everything about any relationship and the stages it goes through... a.k.a. he actually said nothing about you guys and it makes no sense what he's telling you. Waaay too dramatic for me, especially since you aren't together. Dump him, he's crazy and super strange. I would write back to him and tell him you're not his Juliet so get some help! Run away and leave him alone. At first I thought he was saying that he was still in love with his ex, that's what I got out of it. Hope you're not too upset over this guy since you shouldn't be. Find a real life guy who makes you happy :)

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  • Honestly, I would forget about him. He seems to be kind of confused about what he wants I think or is having some emotions about the situation that is making him unsure. I would not get too upset. It takes a while online to meet the right guy and to forge a good relationship. I did the online dating thing too, and it can be tough. You have to be willing to actually meet up with people in order for it to work out. Obviously meet in a safe place like a very public place. I like to go to coffee shops, go to places you know well, in parts of town you know well. Always tell a friend where you are going, what time and text them if something is wrong or doesn't feel right.

    It is possible that he had feelings and gave up because you wouldn't meet him for so long. That in turn made him think you were uninterested. So maybe he felt that you didn't like him, and was hurt? But honestly if you do really want to try it again, I would tell him why you couldn't meet him. Sometimes people are shy. But if you are serious about online dating, you have to meet people in person. It's okay to talk for a couple of weeks or a month or so before meeting, I always do just to see if they have a stable personality. You never know who is out there. Plus then you have something to talk about with them because you know them a little bit.

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  • very deep quote, and from the from the looks of it, he's going through some things. I don't know if he or you have gone through the grieving process of a break up, but let me tell you that getting over that hurdle is tough. try not to email him too much. see if he replies and/or takes the initiative. there's no point in trying so hard if the person in the receiving end isn't interested. been there, done that :-\

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  • What a flakey turdnugget. Fo'get about him.

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  • I hate to say this honey but it sounds like he was tryi g to tell you that he's moved on. It sucks but at least he was trying to go about it in a nice way. I think it's time for you to move on from this guy

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  • I think he was trying to send you the long quote when he could have just said 'i'm not interested'. I think he was trying to tell you that you should move on, but he did it in such a way that it sort of makes you want him more. In a way, he is kind of playing with you for whatever reason, and you really should just let him go.

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    • Probably. I was so confused when he sent me that. It felt like that's what he was saying, but... ugh. haha. When we were talking a lot, he used to write paragraph messages and send them to me, so... I was just so confused xD Thank you so much ^_^

    • Np, I hope it works out :)

  • this sounds like you should ignore him...he had his fun with you && then he had enough

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  • i could be completely wrong, but it sounds like he likes you but for whatever reason can't right now (maybe not enought time, not ready, been hurt, or an ex is back into the picture) but it's kinda strange that he would just give you that long quote, that is kinda confusing

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    • whoa, I agree, I think you need to send him an email being very clear and blunt about your feelings. there is some miscommunication going on and HE FEELS that maybe you are contacting him to just be friends, because its been a month and maybe he thinks that is the reason, so let him know what's going on in your head. And if he says he is not interested you will no for sure and you can move on

  • Hi it's sounds like a long complicated way off telling you to move on and that he's not interested. I would delete all emails from him and his email address then move on with your own life you'll meet someone you like and who likes you :)

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  • How long did you guys talk for?

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    • About 7 months, maybe less... maybe more, I'm really not sure. hah

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    • haha. Possibly to your surprise, I do care (...as long as it was just that ending bit that was sarcasm o.o if not, excuse how gullible I am xD). I like to listen to other people's stories :3

    • Hahah oh wow big surprise. No the story about the guy was true.

  • i take it has too long and annoying. its like get to the point.

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  • Could someone please explain to me WTF is an online boyfriend? Why would anyone carry on with a guy online/ txt/ email/ and never meet? It like having a f***ing love affair in your head . schytzo. What is the point to this type of relationship? Why would you pick

    It over the real deal ?

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  • I think it would be a good idea for you to move on. When you send you missed him and his reply was that quote, that was his way of letting you know that he gets that you're into him but that he's not into you

    You're wasting your time continuing to email him, leave while you still have your dignity

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    • good point made there, if you love him that much you will just move on, and if he comes back to you he's still interested, if not he isn't that interested hun...

      Leave him while you still have you pride,

      x

  • I don't quite understand the context of the situation. Why did you talk so long without ever broaching the subject of actually meeting up? How long had you been talking for? Did you exchange pics? Why did you not transition to the phone, webcam, etc. depending on your distance/situation?

    When you talk to someone online, when no one makes a move, you're stuck in this limbo of awkwardness. I don't even understand why he sent that quote. He certainly can't be in love with you.

    In any case, I would say forget about this guy and find someone who actually enjoys emailing you back and wants to not stay in cyberspace forever.

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    • We had planned on meeting up. Last month, actually. We were talking for... Around 7 months? Maybe less, I'm not sure. We did trade pictures, and we're both REALLY shy. A couple weeks before we stopped talking, we had planned on webcamming, but... for whatever reason, it never happened. We've also left each other voicemails, and I was gonna send him something in the mail...

      I appreciate your advice though. ^_^

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    • You're probably right. Hah. Thank you so much :3

    • You're welcome. Never settle. :)

  • I'm seriously in the same boat as you.

    I talked to this guy for quite some time, we had a great connection, and emailed ALL the time. We never got into being all lovey dovey with quotes like that, but he had quite the sense of sarcasm that I need in a guy to keep up with my sarcasm :P

    He suddenly stopped talking to me, so I became concerned and would playfully ask him if we "were fighting, we haven't talked in a while" and he told me he was swapped with school and even pinky promised to contact me when he wasn't over his head in work.

    So now I'm hoping that hell be in touch within the next few weeks now that his school is done...

    Anyways! To your story!

    Don't over analyze it, he's a romantic, but maybe your just not the one for him, maybe he lost interest, which sucks, I know the feeling.

    I have stopped all contact with my guy because if he really wants to talk, he knows where to contact me, so since I'm in your shoes, leave the ball in his court and see what happens.

    If he doesn't contact you, just move on, there's someone out there who would love to get to know you better! :)

    (Sorry it was so long!)

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    • I actually really appreciate your long response XD ha ha ^_^ Glad I'm not the only one (well.. it sucks, but I'm happy it's not just me xD)

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    • why in these cases girls should always be the passive ones? meaning guys decide whether they are still interested or not, and if they are not girls are left in this situation wondering what's going on? Why do I hear more stories like this not vice versa? Does it mean guys lost interest more easily than girls? And if that happens all the girl can do is to wait and see if the guy will contact with her again?

    • I wouldn't say I'm too passive of a person, I can stand up for myself and be straight forward with how I feel about someone.

      It's more of a thinking the guy will get really annoyed if we ( the girl ) repeatdedly contact him.

      Its not fair in my opinion that the guy can lose interest so easily when you shared so much with each other, and you end up just dissapointed that the guy doesn't even have the deceny too tell you he lost interest and doesn't want to keep in touch anymore.

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