Do girls just base guys on how much game and experience they have and again do I seem totally abnormal?

I think I have a big social problem that I have been sheltered and lacked female interaction. There is only one female I really ever talk to and that would be my mom. (Who I don't really get along with all the time) Basically my whole family are males. I go to work as a part time infanteer and obviously I'm surrounded by all males. All my friends and acquaintances are males and my Facebook is made up of 140+ males and you can count the females on one hand... the only time il ever talk to girls my age is when I go to parties with my friends and sort of get forced to talk to them but the only reason I go to them is to have a good time with my friends and not to hang around girls. there's just something about girls that seems so strange to me I guess its the feminine characteristics or something but it makes me nervous and turn quiet/distant. My friends bug me about it and laugh at how I've never been on a date and even kissed a girl. They are always trying to set me up with their female friends but I always shy away. Apparently the girls they try me with really do like me looks wise but clearly I have no game. People who meet me are usually shocked when I tell them about my inexperience considering my looks and athletic abilities. How do I get girls to help me get past the shell I have around myself and see who I really am. not an insecure guy but one whose really tough yet sensitive and humorous? Do girls just base guys on how much game and experience they have and again do I seem totally abnormal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I was sort of like you growing up. I am Asian and was told not to talk to guys, and not to like guys because it was BAD or something. Anyways... I didn't talk to any guys until I was like 22ish.

    Well the thing about it is, I felt like I would lead them on and reject them then hurt them. Or felt like they might lead me on and then drop me and hurt me. I didn't want to get hurt or get anyone else hurt.

    Now once I figured out that a guy can just be a "friend" like a girl is a friend, that helped a lot! And I also learned that once a guy likes me and I reject him, if I do it right away (within 2 months or so) it will actually not hurt him much but help him to move on to a next girl who would be better for him! so I tried not to string guys along that once I knew I didn't like, I let them go before leading them on any further.

    Other than that, I think just talking to them normally, asking them about their hobbies and interests and such is sort of like talking to just a friend.

    Keep in mind though, that if they like you they WILL flirt with you by complimenting you a lot and telling you they like you. If you don't like them back right away, just try to avoid doing the same.

    If you DO like the girl, try to compliment them a lot and flirt BUT keep in mind that if they do REJECT you that you CAN move on. Keeping this in mind will help you to recover from the shock or whatever quicker.

    Well good luck


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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think you are abnormal, I just think that because you have had little to no female interaction, it makes you feel a little awkward. In my opinion, it is the equivalent of a girl who was raised by males, whose friends are males, and who only interacts with males. Most would call her a tomboy because she doesn't know how to deal with males on a flirtatious/sexual level. Don't expect a girl to break down your walls and inhibitions. That is something that you have to do on your own. That comes from within yourself. Sure, us girls sometimes seem like we come from another planet, but we are normal, regular people t0o. We have some (SOME) of the same interest as your male friends: music, sports (on a certain level), current events, family life, friends/social life... the list goes on. Make an effort to talk to at least one girl at the next party you go to. You don't have to have a long drawn out convo with her, but just a simple one until you can work your way up to interacting with females in a comfortable way. Good luck!

  • The kind of girls who would probably wouldn't stick around long anyway, girls worth dating wouldn't mind. They'd probably think it's kind of cute. It's okay to be shy, so long as you smile a lot - if you don't, it can look like you're ignoring them, but if you smile, you look shy but approachable/friendly/nice. A lot of girls will come up to you, and may take the lead, so as for the game thing, I wouldn't worry. Just think of them as friends like your guy friends. As for numbers-wise, you'll find things snowball - become friends with one girl, if you get to know her well, within a few weeks/months, you may find yourself friends with a couple of her friends, then their friends, and so on. Just try to relax, though I know it's hard. Good luck, you seem really nice.

  • No, they do not. I certainly do not.


What Guys Said 1

  • (I can count to 31 on one hand.. xD)

    Not abnormal, but the only one who can break out of your shell is you.

    This is an "easy advice to say", but here goes: one thing you can do to overcome this -female specific shyness- is to attempt to completely disregard the fact that they are girls. Just interact with them as if they were guys, apparently.

    Though in the US, girls expect you to try to break through their "wall" and hug them and touch them and weird stuff like that (only if they like you, otherwise you're a creep), luckily you're canadian and the girls there aren't all that st... hypocritical as far as I know, but for that, I have no metacommunicational advice, apart from the one I mentioned in the above paragraph. :P