He'll only text me when he wants to. Needs opinions on my on/off boyfriends behavior!

My on/off boyfriend is really confusing me atm. He'll only text me when he wants to. Only sees me when he can be bothered, yet tells me he loves me and wants us to work. Last night for example, I went to his at 11.30 at night and was home by 12, he said he was tired, he'd been with his friends all day. Am I asking to much, if all I wanna do is spend a couple of evenings with him, and have him reassure me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay chick, how long have you been dating? If it is not long..then do not worry too much. I suspect he is how my boyfriend was when we first started dating. He always wanted to spend more time with his friends! SO ANNOYING! But, eventually he wanted to spend more time with me...And, then there was a rough time in our relationship in which he randomly wanted to see his friends more than me..Due to some issues we were having. But, I backed off...let him know I didn't care and that I was happy all by myself and with MY friends. This is what you should do. DO YOU. If you truly love him and want to be with him and you know that it IS worth it...then do this..Try not to care. I suspect it is early in your relationship, if I am right..then do not worry he will change over time..he will get attached and miss you and want to see you and eventually you will be in a stable, secure relatonship. I am not sure by what you mean on and off? But, if you are not happy maybe he isn't the one for you? If you think it is worth it..then try what I said...Do not continue to let him know it bothers you...this is our biggest mistake, I think. It is okay to mention it and let him know once..But, if he does not try to change it and make you happy, then start doing it to him. When he wants to see you, DON'T see him. Tell him you are busy out with friends. And try to reschedule or something. He has to know that you are important and you have a life too. And, you are not going to just wait for his phone call around the house doing nothing and jump every time he calls to see you. He doesn't sound like a great guy if you ask me no offense...But, men can change...And, you know him more than me. Clearly. Good luck :-)

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    • I was with him about a year, then we split up for 3 months, and now we are giving it another, but we ain't officially together. But he's having issues at the moment, so I don't know if that's a reason. But today he had to go to work, for a disciplinary, and he text me asking if I'd wait for him, for when he comes out. I don't know what to do. I'm spending the day with him. But we spoke last night. And hopefully things will get better.

    • I am sure they will. Go and hang out with him...And, see how everything goes. If things do not get better, then start giving him his own medicine. Start being unavailable to see him. And see how that goes. He is probably just going through a rough time and things will probably get better.

What Guys Said 1

  • No you're not asking too much. He could share the time with his friends and with you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think you are asking too much. You are just asking for some time, and he doesn't seem like he really cares. He tells you he wants you two to work out, but his actions are saying otherwise. I would tell him this. If he honestly wanted to work on things, he would be spending as much time with you as he could. I agree there needs to be a balance, he should have time for himself and his friends. But you are also a priority. If you can only get him to spend time with you, ' when he can be bothered' then it sounds like he thinks you are an inconvenience. I would say you should just break up with him if this is how he truly feels. He doesn't sound like he appreciates you. I have dated guys like this and its not fun. You are always hurt and left wondering why you are not more of a priority to them. But why should you have to wait up all the time and wonder? You deserve to be a priority to someone, obviously you think he is a priority. But he is not deserving by the way you are being treated.

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  • It looks like you're not really a priority in his life. You're not asking to much. You need to have a friendly chat with him and tell him that you need to be able to spend more time with you boyfriend. If he's not willing (and even worse that he doesn't want to to begin with) to spend more time with you then you should probably move on. It's important to spend quality time with you significant other. And if he truly loved you and cared about you, he'd put a better effort into seeing you.

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