My man is browsing escort and massage ads, advice?

I'm a newbie here and asked a question and only got (3) answers, I was hoping for more...But my next question is similar in nature: Is this possible? For a man who over a span of aprox. 3 months was making "short" phone calls and received a couple pics from escorts/sensual massage ads...the calls stopped. He claimed he was only curious. He says he never visited an escort or received a massage. I want to believe him very badly, But I've been cheated on before and I'm scarred. I don't believe that a man would ever admit to it, unless confronted with hard eviidence.. even if he did cheat..."well most men."

So is it possible that he was just curious, and a little lonely? or should I assume he called them to get an appointment and see them...NOT to just to flirt, have a little dirty talk as he claims. If you need more info on my situation...my other detailed question is Titled: "Are men that "occasionally" call/browse escort and sensual massage ads on C.L. & back page trustworthy?"

I deeply appreciate any input people can offer and I'm currently "weighing" my options carefully. I have a lot of time invested in him and love him deeply and believe he does love me. I just don't want to marry him, and be married to someone who occasionally visits escorts or massage parlors...How do I decide what to do, I'm scarred I'll screw it up either way! H.E.L.P.!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hope this doesn't hurt you, because that's the exact opposite of what I am trying to do.

    It sounds like you are desperate to believe your man is a good one, when really, you already know his true nature.

    When my ex left me to raise our six month old daughter on my own, the hardest thing I had to do was to let go of the illusion. I had had these dreams of our life together. I had this vision of the man I thought my ex could be. And for a very long time, I tortured myself believing that if I was a good enough woman, I could make him be a good enough man. It has been several years since he left, and I have seen him get married since then. I have seen the man he has become. And I can say, with complete certainty, that my ex is not able to be the man I thought (?hoped) he was. One of the benefits of dating when you are our age is that when your man shows his true nature, you don't have to beat yourself up wondering if he can change. He is who he is.

    If you really don't want to be alone, and accept that you are going to be with a man that calls an escort service and lies to you, I cannot judge you. I know what it is like to face living your life alone.

    I can honestly say though, that I would be happier alone than with a man like that. And I think you would be too.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He claimed he was just flirting with them? That'd raise a red flag with me. I knew a girl who used to be in the business. This subject came up in conversation once and she said that, under NO circumstances would she flirt or talk dirty over the phone. Reason being that if he asked to meet up and by some chance she agreed to do something that they talked about, if he was a cop she could be busted for solicitation.

    So yes, in my opinion, you have a valid reason to be concerned.

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  • Investigate, see what you can find out.

    By the sounds of it he is going to these 'parlours by name, brothels by nature'... but you VAN'T point the finger... you yourself have done the dirty on him! Just your attitude alone ''even if he did cheat..."well most men." ''... what kind of attitude is this? It's as if you're accepting of being unfaithful, it's a part of a relationship

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  • I'll be honest and say I've gone on escort websites for fun. It's a cheap thrill to look at their photos and see their " services ".

    To go the distance, you'd have to really want it.

    I can tell you many men who'll look at the websites. Email them. Call them. And even make a date.

    And then not go through with it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Thats extremely wrong. If I were you, I would leave him. NO MAN who is in a committed relationship would ever do that..It is called cheating. A man who is "only" curious? Why would he be curious? If he has YOU why does he need that? Or even be curious about that? He had to have been talking to them of some sort to get pics and phone calls...I would leave. You can find SO much better as you deserve this! And, if it is too hard for you to leave...then telll him you are going to do the same thing...as you are "curious"...and in the mean time..find a better man. Please. you deserve it.

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  • no men don't do that if they love their girlfriend. but how do you know that he is?

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    • Because he has a phone on my account and I get the bill...I noticed some "weird" numbers and googled them . They led to Backpage.com Escort/sensual massage ads. I confronted him, he admitted it. And was very apologetic. I almost sent him packing, he was crying like a baby and begging...It might help if you could read the "situation" in my first question..."Are men that "occasionally" call/browse escort and sensual massage ads on C.L. & back page trustworthy?"

      Thankyou so much! :)

    • I honestly don't believe a guy will contact an escort service because he's bored or curious. They contact them because they want something. But I don'ot know him, I don't know what his personality is like or what he's capable of so I can't say for sure, but I would be extremely cautious around this one

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