Is it to soon for the "Talk"?

Ok, long story short...My best friend and her husband wanted to set me up with a guy that the husband worked with. I told them I did not want to be set up with anyone...If it just so happens they invite him out and we happen to meet, then so be it, but I would not go on a blind double date...Just awkward! haha. Anyway, about a week after they wanted to set me up, their job took the husband and the new guy away for several months. Early Feb. The guy friended me on Facebook and shortly after we began messaging each other every day, and this lasted for a little over 3 months. We talked about everything you could ever imagine talking about with someone. I swear, I think I know him better than I knew my last relationship that lasted 6 years! Anyway, the guy recently came home 2 weeks ago. We have been spending a good amount of time together (we've hung out at least 8 times). We have gone on several dinner dates, been to the movies, gone out to the bar, he's met my friends, I've met his, he has came over and watched a movie at my place, and he's stayed the night 2 times...and yes, we have taken our physical relationship further. So pretty much, we almost act like we are in a relationship...we just are not. But, now he is going home this weekend and will be gone for 4 days. Then he will be going home again the first weekend in June for 2 1/2 weeks. My fear is he will be hooking up with ex's, or ex-flings, or just new girls in general. I'm not expecting to gain the relationship "title" just yet ...but is it to soon to set boundaries to our relationship? Like clarify if we are exclusive or not?! Because since we've been seeing each other the past 2 weeks, I have turned down advances from guys who want to take my out on dates and such...but if he's planning on hooking up with other people while he is home, then I feel like I should know so I can pursue other things as well. So, my question is ... yeah we've only hung out for 2 weeks, but we've known each other and talked for nearly 4 months now... is it to soon to set boundaries and have the talk? Or should I just go with the flow and see how things unfold on their own?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You should go with the flow for now. Let him go on his trip and then when you hang out for the first time afterward, ask him how it went. From the way he answers you'll be able to tell if he missed you and then it's a good time to tell him you missed him and realized you want to be officially together.

  • I would have the talk. It sounds like you've had sex, so yes it's time.


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