Dating sites.. what are your thoughts?

I've been on dating sites for two years now. I know, being on those sites can make a part of me pathetic and desperate.

Most people will judge and will tell you dating sites are nothing but crap. To be honest, I was so skeptical of it at first.. Unattractive and insane guys? Still.. But hey! The truth is, I am seeing a lot of great and decent men and women and we all both have this one dilemma, it is we're just not sure WHERE to meet the right person.

Of course, my very main reason of joining those, is to find my luck if I could meet someone right for me (even if it will take each of us oceans to know each other). Sometimes, some people just can't find the right one in around their place so they tend to look out somewhere. I know, it sounds very complicated but who knows right, sometimes beautiful things does happen, even in our least expected ways.

Through the days that I've been on those sites, I realized that it doesn't always have to be to find a date and to look for the right one. I am enjoying it because of the opportunity to have friends all over the world. I really got fascinated about it, to also see what else is there outside my reach. I thought that it is also fun and cool to know a little more about other people and the culture they are in. I am learning a lot I can say.

I also have to say, through those sites, I am learning to be more patient than I am before. I know a bit funny, but it kind of taught me that love always waits, really. It doesn't have to be to look and find for the one... Dating sites kind of turn that around for me, it's funny right, just crazy. I feel a lot content of just being single now. I enjoy having very good friends online and it makes me more somewhat being open-minded of a lot of things now. It's just great.

So yeah, that's just my story, I am here to ask you guys your thoughts and comments about this. Internet dating seems to be a common way for many singles to meet in the 21st..

Any positive or negative comments? I'd love to know your thoughts..

- Joanna :)

Updates:
Btw, I have met three guys I knew online, and actually 2 of them is surprisingly from the church I am attending lol its funny how small world we have. We're good friends and its just nice. Thank you for your thoughts. It gives me another view about dating sites :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I met my now fiance on an online dating site. It was perfect because everyone I know is like " oh go to the club. go to the bar." and all that... well the truth is I'm not a bar/club type of guy. I mean I will go every once in a blue moon, but I mean if that's not me or my scene, and definitely not the type of people I would want to date (not saying they are all bad.. just not comparable lifestyles), then why would I do that? I've also been a really busy person since my early teens and never really fit in because if I wasn't in school, I was doing athletics... if I wasn't doing athletics I was either in school or sleeping. So even though I had a lot of friends, I just never really "got in" with any particular group of people. So in turn that led to not having a great chance of finding dates.. which led me to online dating. I've encountered some crazy girls that were like " OMG I LOVE YOU" after like 4 hours... and then I came across girls who just weren't my type.. or girls that completely lied about themselves. But eventually I found the girl I'm with now, and we plan on getting married within the next two years(waiting for her to finish university). All in all, I'd say the online dating experience was great.

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    • Aww fiance? that is so nice to hear :) Congrats to you! Yeah, sometimes being busy does really got us to don't have time on finding dates. My parents are on abroad and being with school and with all the responsibility at home is my only time right now. Finding dates are not for me yet personally. And hey clubs, not into those types as well lol just good to know who thinks the same. The OMG I LOVE YOU is epic. Anyways, thanks for your thoughts! Its great. Wish you all the best with your fiance :)

    • Thank you for the kind words! Best of luck to you as well!

What Guys Said 9

  • Alright, I've given the online thing a go, so I'll give my honest comments on it.

    Let me start off by saying this, I'm not a very good looking guy. Part of it is definitely because I'm overweight. (I don't say that sort of thing on the site obviously, I'm just giving you some information so you know where I'm coming from in this 'review') I approach my looks as a matter of fact, acknowledge it's not my strong point, and choose to pretend like I'm not at a disadvantage.

    Which leads me to this simple reality, looks matter so much more with online dating than in person. The gap is huge. I can tell you this with such certainty because of the large contrast I've had between my real life interactions and online. I think it's because in real-life my obvious confidence, sense of humor, and all around 'lovable' attitude as somebody once put it to me, shines right through in person. Online? You can make a decision about a person before even having had an interaction with them. In real-life, I hardly have to try because it comes so natural to me as a former sales person. Walk up and talking to a stranger, cracking jokes, smiling, friendly attitude, it's just a walk in the park. I don't have that advantage online.

    Initially I had a similar attitude, that the right person for me probably wasn't in my local area. I felt like needed to try and broaden the horizons more so to speak. I was wrong. Online dating really just took away the advantages I had in terms of standing out from the crowd. Many of the people in real-life that became very interested in me would have NEVER given me a chance online. I would have been written off before my sense of humor and charm ever got to play a role.

    Not to mention, maybe I'm just not a master of the internet, but talking online isn't anywhere close to the same. You can't flirt like in real life. I find it incredibly difficult to use a medium that both takes away my ability to stand out from the crowd right off the bat AND doesn't give me the chance to start off by flirting(cracking smiles, a casual touch when the opportunity is right, etc.) right from the get-go.

    I used match.com, eharmony, and plentyoffish. eharmony was the worst, would never recommend that one. match.com wasn't much better at all. I think I talked to one maybe two people on match the entire 6 months I was there. PlentyofFish, the free one, was actually the best. I did have some great conversations with down to earth people on there, but nothing ever became of it. I think the same issue I had, they must of had because I lost interest in keeping in touch with them. Personality just doesn't seem to shine through well over the internet. At least, not the qualities I'm looking for in a person.

    So yeah, I don't do the online dating thing anymore. Real life isn't just easier for me, it's more enjoyable.

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    • Thank you for your honest thoughts. I appreciate reading your words. It's a good thing to know another view about online dating sites :)

  • Speaking through my experiences by what I've seen on there, who my friends have found on there, and the people that contact you, etc...there are waaaaay too many girls on there with emotional problems or issues that they're hiding. I'm not assuming this about them, but the reason my buddy uses dating sites is because he can't meet them in person- he has these deep down insecurities that you can tell he has, but they aren't immediately apparent. So if he feels like that, then it's not a stretch to imagine that these girls do it for the same reason.

    You seem like one of the "normal" ones and as much as it sounds like I'm hating on dating sites, I'm not lol. It's just that there are too many things that you don't get to see in people when you meet them online as opposed to in person. I'd much rather meet someone in person where you can get a better idea of who they are. I guess my buddies have just met plenty enough of the ones who are bags of emotional drama.

    Then there are the ones that are on the sites for flings, so there's not really an explanation needed for them.

    That's cool that you've tapped into the good crowd of online dating. But for me personally, it isn't my thing. I'll stick to the old fashioned way of meeting in person.

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  • I think it will continue to grow in popularity and will eventually be accepted as normal. I don't think dating sites is for people that are "desperate" or "pathetic". I've never tried it yet but the thought of using one has struck me a few times. We'll see what happens.

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  • Guys on dating sites sometimes don't know how to send a damn message

    Girls on dating sites get too bombarded with messages

    Sometimes the girls are actually guys f.ucking with other guys

    Online dating is still taboo but one day it will be the wave of the future

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  • It's a lot of fun and an all around awesome experience doing online dating. It's helped me meet so many wonderful people on there. Can't say they always lead to a relationship but you can meet friends for life and sometimes friends with benefits.

    It's a blast. I recommend it for anyone...just stay safe!

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  • I think they'd be good if girls were more responsive. I've gotten 3 messages out of 20 girls and it's only been one message past the first one from them. Girls get all kinds of messages, but apparently don't seem to do any themselves. I don't just message hot girls either. I message girls I find at least somewhat cute all the way up to hot.

    I don't understand why girls are so unresponsive. You've been on a dating site for 2 years. Can you explain it? Oh also I don't say any sexual stuff either. I just say "Hey, how's it going?", say my name, say I like their profile, then ask them about something on their profile.

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    • I guess it could also be because I'm not attractive. Here's my profile if you want to critique it and my looks. I joined only 2 days ago. link

    • There are guys that are unresponsive as well. Maybe we're just bound to be not they're type.

      About the - I've been on dating sites for two years. Yeah, I am checking my account every now and then for two years now. Not too active, but I check it once in a while and its been a good experience because I've gained very good friends. Thanks for writing your thoughts :)

    • Yep. :) I hope it works out for me. I don't have the confidence to try the regular way.

  • they are lame

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  • It's not something I'd be willing to use, despite the success rate of eharmony or match.com.-

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  • I think bkissed.com is really good to be honest. bkissed.com are a free dating site, with tons of features, totally free! I was amazed, - yes really - they have only real people, no fake accounts and no spam. Some of the features include video/audio chat, blogs, forums, videos, and some dating advice collections for men and women. Definitely worth a look imo. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I´ve always thought dating sites are super lame, but my bff recently found her dream guy on checkhimout.com and they´re getting married in November so I thought I should give it a try!

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  • I was searching dating sites on this site and I found your question. Its very interesting. I was just wondering if you have ever messaged a guy first on a dating site. I recently am a new member of one and was wondering how that all works. Do guys think its cool if a girl messages first or would that be weird...and what do you say? Thanks :)

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