Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, & I love him dearly. I have always been one to have more guy friends then girl friends... Ever sense we started dating though I haven't hung out with any of my guy friends. I finally brought it up that I want to start hanging out with them again and I informed him of who and where and what would be going on to try to make him feel more comfortable about the situation but no matter what I tell him he just gets jealous which his way of being jealous is being pissed off. Is there anything I could maybe try to say or do to help with that? Or just let it be? (: Thanks.
What should I do when I want to hang out with my guy friends but my boyfriend gets pissed off?
What Guys Said 4
I agree with your boyfriend. Those guys you call your friend would all pounce on you should you give any of them the opportunity. It doesn't matter how long you've known them. Sure you may have a great personality and be a lot of fun to hang out with but the main motivation for them to be your friend is that they think somewhere down the line they'll have a chance to slept with you. Now I'm not saying all guys are like this there are exceptions, but most are.
Want to know for sure? Here is how:
Tell all of your male friends on a one by one case that you are not the least bit attracted to them and you will never sleep with any of them because you don't want to ruin your friendship. See how many of them still want to hang out with you and be your friend. I've had a few girls try this and they couldn't believe how quickly her so called friend's attitude changed. Give it a try. You don't have to be rude to any of them. If you don't want to make them feel unattractive by saying that you're not attracted to them just tell them that they are not your type and you see them like a brother. This is a great way for girls to weed out which guys are really their friends. Having friends of the opposite gender is like playing with fire when you're in a relationship even if you have good intentions. There has been numerous studies on the subject. Give it try and let us know the results. Pay attention to how they respond by their actions not their words. Does their attitude change? Do they call you less or want to see you less? Give it at least a week or two. Now this little experiment would exclude homosexual men for obvious reasons. Your boyfriend has probably done the same thing which could be one of many reasons why he feels that way. Just ask him if he has done it. Assure him that you are not going to get angry at him for answering the question honestly.
You could also spin it in another direction by telling your guy friends on a one by one case that you have an itch that needs to be scratched. When they ask you what you mean tell them you're horny and your boyfriend isn't around. Ask them if they can help you out and see what they say. Afterwards tell them you were just kidding and you never want to ruin what you have with them. You can do this over the phone or through texting. Make sure your boyfriend is in the room when you are on the phone or show him the text messages as you send and receive them. If your friends pass then your boyfriend should feel more at ease. Now this will only work if your friends don't suspect what you have in mind. If they say yes then exclude them from your friends list. You want to have friends that support and respect your relationship. How many of your female friends want to have sex with you? Next to none I imagine. Their motivation for being your friend is different.
If you're interested in the subject:
If you're boyfriend cannot trust you, then you two shouldn't be in a relationship.1
Firstly, just because he is playing with fire (the girl, dirty notes) that doesn't mean you too should! Otherwise, why be in a relationship at all?
Secondly, once you get him to play straight and fair too, why should he not be jealous of you going out with your guy friends? Using the law of reciprocity, would you be happy if he went out with some of his girl friends to hang out? I think not...
Thirdly, assuming you'll are into each other, do you really need other males waiting to hit on you if they got a chance. If you think you're safe with them, why not take your boyfriend to your sessions too? I would feel excluded... call it the fragile male ego.0
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