About 3 months ago, me and a girl started working at a new company. Initially, we were very friendly and then became flirty with each other. As time went on, she mentioned that her and her previous boyfriend had "unofficially" broken up. I figured that she needed time and just kept being friends with her.
After a couple of weeks, we became closer and closer. She would come over to my house and we would hang out before going to work. We would eat lunch together every day at work. We basically became more than friends. Fast forward 3 months and all of a sudden her ex starts talking to her more and she suddenly stops things with me and tells me that she's decided to try again with her ex because she doesn't want him to feel like she gave up on him.
Their previous relationship was somewhat troubled due to her parents. Anyway, now we are very close as friends but not the way we were before where we would be kissing and sleeping (non-sexually). She knows how I feel for her since both of us are very open in our communication. I've mentioned to her that I have very deep feelings for her and she says that she appreciates me for everything that I've done for her. She says that she cares for me greatly and that she feels for me as well. She also says that had she not been with this other guy, she would be with me. She says that she's only said "I love you" once and it was to this guy.
That's why she can't say it to me. I told her that I'm not asking her to say "I love you" to me. I even told her that I care for her greatly and that my heart doesn't want to give up on her. She comes by my cube in the office often and we talk. We touch often. Just yesterday she comes over, starts talking to me and touches my fingers (because I used to play with her fingers and nails) and places her hand near my mouth. At this point I'm sitting on my chair and she's standing up. Anyway, I kissed her hand like I've done in the past. I can't tell if she wants to be closer with me or if now I've become her friend. I don't know what to do. My heart just feels so heavy now and I don't know if me and her will ever be the same way as before but my heart doesn't want to give up.
What do you all think I should do? Any advice?
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds like she is confused but she was willing to so quickly drop you for this other guy maybe she does have feelings for you but the ones for her other guy are stronger and she wishes to see where it leads her. Cut the flirting out let her know that esp if she is with this other guy it is not right and it just puts more unsolved issues between the two of you just be friends with her not flirty friends just non touchy friends and be there if she needs to talk but also if you think your advice to her will be influenced based on how YOU feel for her then do not even do that cause it is not right she has got to make the choice on her own in the end or even if she does choose you it will not be all her and who is to say because of her not finishing this current realationship she won't just leave you again? Just distance yourself a little your only going to get hurt in the end if you do not go about this carefully and with caution for not only your friendship with her but your own feelings and emotions.1