I'm confused, I don't know who to pick!

Well, how do I start? Ive been single for almost 2 years. I hadn't had any type of contact with men, not even kissing! I started working in a company and from the very beginning I spotted some cute guys and I started observing them. They are three guys, all with qualities I really like.

One day I bumped into one of them when I was on my way home. He didn't know where I lived, so I invited him over. He went in and then we started kissing and also tried to have sex with me, I said no, because I'm a virgin and I don't wanna lose it with just anyone. I wanna make sure I find the right guy.

Also there was a problem. He told me afterwards that he didn't want any commitment for now, but he really liked me.A few days later he asked me out.I told him I would think about it after what he did.

Four days after, the second guy surprisingly called me. He said he was in town and that he wanted to come over to watch a movie he rented.We did so and in the middle of the movie we kissed.He tried to have sex with me, but I didn't proceed because I'm still a virgin, and I don't just want to loose it with anyone. He got upset and I asked him to leave.He sent me flowers the other day and asked me to give him a second chance.

The third guy (which I like the most) has a girlfriend.

He told me he likes me a lot yesterday, and if I accept to be his girlfriend, he will break up with her and be with me.He wrote me a poem and also sent me flowers at work (Orchids) which are my favorite.

I really don't know what to do.I haven't dated in a long time, but these situations are very difficult to decide on.I like all three, but I don't know who to give a chance to be part of my life.They are all handsome and interesting men.

In a way it has reanimated me to feel better about myself, by the fact that I'm feeling wanted again, not just by one man, but 3!!!

Can you guys hep me make a decision?

Which do I pick?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Number 1, congratulations for not giving it to the first and second guy. That takes a lot of self control.

    Also, lucky you because once they had conquered you, I doubt it that they would stick around to be part of your life, as you would like them to be.

    Number 2. When a guy says he doesn't want commitment but he really likes you, that means he wants no commitment, but he would really like to do you.

    Number 3. Looks like to me guy 2 doesn't really want to be part of your life either, but he seems quite eager to get a chance to explore your inner workings...and it ain't your mental inner workings, let me tell you that.

    Number 4. Guy number 3 who would break up with his girlfriend---if you were his girlfriend, and another girl came along, is there anything that guarantees you that he won't do the same to you? geeez!

    Number 5. If all these 3 handsome men want you, I'm sure plenty others want you too.

    It doesn't seem any of these 3 guys are there for the long term, however you want to define long term. Instead it sounds like they are the hit it, quit it, type of guys. So yea, any of these won't do you any good, you unless you want good sex maybe... :)

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    • All good points - particularly that if she has these three to choose among, she can find a fourth that is handsome and will be around.

What Guys Said 3

  • Well, you are quite popular now, aren't you? I thought it was cute that you gave the same "I don't wanna lose it with just anyone" explanation to us twice, in case we didn't catch it :)

    None of them sound great, but guy number one is guilty merely of trying to have sex with apparently the most irresistible vixen in the office. And was upfront about not wanting commitment. So do you want commitment? If so, ask him again about the commitment thing. If he's changed his mind and wants the same sort of relationship you want, pick guy #1. But be wary, he might not really want commitment. Or, if you DON'T want commitment, he's clearly the guy for you as-is!

    Guy #2 got upset because you wouldn't have sex. I assume this isn't just awkward "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I should go" upset. If it is, then no big deal, guy #2 is probably okay. But presuming he's ANGRY or INCONSIDERATE upset simply because, as we all know, you "don't wanna lose it with just anyone" then he's a jerk. Stay away from upset jerks. Even if they send flowers the next day.

    Guy #3 is only okay if he's willing to break up with his girlfriend REGARDLESS of you. If he's done with her, only then should you swoop in. But if he's willing to stay with her if you say NO, then he's a jerk. As a boyfriend, you'll know this and know that he's willing to stay with YOU only until his next vixen says "yes" to him. You don't want that, do you?

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  • You may like number 3 the most, but the fact that he's willing to break up with his girlfriend for you puts him out of the running. This is a guy who is likely fickle and has also put you in an uncomfortable position.

    Now let's break it down to Guy 1 and Guy 2. I would go with Guy 2 because he seems like the one who's willing to make a commitment (while not breaking up with a current girlfriend) and build the familiarity necessary so that if sex becomes a possibility later on, you'll be comfortable.

    I discount Guy 1 because from your description, he sounds like a fellow who would "hit it and quit it" as it were. But that's just judging from your brief depiction of him.

    No matter who you pick, make it quick because the longer you wait, the greater chance there is of these guys finding out about each other and no one likes to feel like they're being played (even though that's not what you're trying to do).

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  • They're all jerks. From your description, it seems to me that the most stable one is the one who has offered to dump his girl. And that isn't stable. I think each of these three will only break your heart. I'd steer clear of the whole lot of 'em.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, I wouldn't choose any of them if I were you. The first one and second one seem to be after sex and the third one, well it's not good that he is taken (even if he said he'd break up with his current girlfriend) It would just makes things complicated. Yes, you haven't dated in 2 years but don't rush into a relationship, especially with guys who are already committed to someone else or just seem to want to get into your pants. Hey if you got three guys to notice you and come after you, just think about how many other guys are also interested ;D.

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