Why do men feel they can't be honest with dating?

I am the type of girl that believes if you want to date, fine. If something becomes more, than it will. I have been dating a man for 3 months, not long at all and he introduces me as his girlfriend, gets mildly jealous of other men(not too bad), and recently invited my child to a function with his friends. Me, I like him, but I can take it or leave it, at this point It could be more but if it were to end tomorrow, oh well. So I guess you can say I am up for the option! I have stopped dating other men because we had a brief conversation about how having sex with other people was not really cool, but if it didn't work out with us, we would just stop dating, however this was in the very beginning. Recently I noticed that he was still going on regularly to the dating site that we met, no biggie to me but why should he expect me not to date others if he can. I have stopped going on this site. I feel that he should not be calling me his girlfriend if he wants to date others, and he should not expect me to not date others as well. I really don't want to seem pushy or overbearing or jealous, I just want to be honest and if it is not going further, tell him that I can still date him but I want to date others as well. How do I approach the subject without him thinking that I was checking up on him(I wasn't , I just happened to see it up on the computer screen by accident),and find out what he is really thinking, don't want to scare him away, yet don't want to be taken for a fool either.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It may well be that he considers "browsing" or flirting on a dating site to be completely harmless; something he doesn't intend to follow up on. And if that's the case, then he hasn't violated the boundries you two agreed to. Your agreement with him is (and you weren't 100% clear here) either that you won't have sex with anyone else, or that you won't date anyone else, while you are together.

    Basically, the two of you need to have another talk, not one to accuse him of anything, but one to clarify, in detail, exactly what YOU want, and what HE wants. If what you want is "no windowshopping", then the two of you need to agree to that. Otherwise, you're judging him by rules that he is unaware of, and that's not right.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would be honest but I had to sign a official secrets act, so I can't tell you about my spy work



What Girls Said 1

  • "I don't really think I'm that into you, but I'd like to have regular sex until I find a woman I think is amazing."

    Hmm...think that'd get them laid?