So I had a fling with this girl 'bout 7 months ago. She had had a major crush on me, but I quite couldn't see it at the time. I realized later that I also had feelings for her, so we went out a few times. Then for about 2 months it was contact on-off. I contacted her, then for a week I wouldn't hear from her and then she would contact me again. This went on for 2 months.
I then just straightforward asked her where we stand. She said she doesn't know. She doesn't want me to be with anyone else, but still likes me. She would have hoped that I had made a move on her before. So I just let it be for a week, and then contacted her again. We talked, but I got the same response.
I then gave her time to think, and after 2 weeks I got tired of the get-around, and just gave her the take me or leave me. We got together, but she was weird, not herself. I broke it off, but regretted it later. We had important exams, and we were supposed to meet up after them.
I was really stressed and then something happened, and I still don't understand why: I lost feelings for her. Totally. I felt nothing. Looked at her and nothing. It felt kinda bad, because I knew I wanted to be with her, but I didn't feel anything. How can this happen? I waited for a week, but I couldn't feel any spark. So I just told her about it. Straightforward once again. A few days went by, I was a mess and I got my feelings back and everything was back to normal. Except that I had just dropped the bomb. I really tried getting her back, called her and asked her to meet me up, but it didn't progress anywhere from there.
So I think I'm kinda over it, but maybe not, because I'm still thinking about it. Was the things I said really that bad? I think it was good that I was honest with my feelings at the moment. But I still can't help but think that I killed it. Because that is what I'm thinking mainly about. Did I really mess up? I can totally relate to how she might have felt, it would have felt really unnatural for her? How would you have felt?
It doesn't help anything to think about it, but my mind is going in circles. Those are the questions that are spinning in my head. But thanks in advance, cheers!