Does it seem that women lie or answer what you want to hear, when you asked for their opinions?

vFor instance I am sort of surprised of all of the answers that girls give here and to be honest a lot of times they just seem to be lies for me, either that or they just want to go with the flow and not look bad a process called cognitive dissonance or must likely they just seem the excpetion to the rule from the rest of the women outside.

For instance

You ask a girl: Do girl care about appearances? All of them will jump and say "NO off course not, we only care about personilty". Yet you ask her what sort of characeteristics they like in a man physically and all of them will give you a very detail list of what they expect. However they will NOT date any body shorter than them.

This is just an example of many, there are many other examples, but I didn't want to spoil the question.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You called them girls for a reason. Women will answer honestly and differently.

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What Girls Said 10

  • A. You've already got a slanted question. It's like collecting scientific data to prove your point instead of collecting data and then analyzing it for a point. So, please, don't worry about rambling. You've already made your point, there's no sense in pretending otherwise.

    B. There's a difference between lying and repeating what they've been told is true. Socially, we are told 'Appearances don't matter!' when in reality, they matter a great deal. Having words and actions be at odds with each other is a common cultural occurrence - and it has nothing to do with gender, at all.

    C. Your example questions are unrelated, by the way. One is if physical appearance matters. The seconds is 'If you are considering physical appearances, what would you prefer', which by it's very context suggests, in this instance, physical appearances matter. Having a preference on physical appearances in no way dictates whether those appearances are more important that personality or other traits, since you've taken the substance of a person out of the equation.

    D. I've never said appearance doesn't matter. I don't need washboard abs or a prince charming, but I want a perfectly average guy who's in decent health and doesn't look like he got beaten with the wrong end of the fugly stick. However, every young girl is told 'It's what on the inside that counts!' and until they grow up and figure out for themselves that there's a whole lot of salt to be taken with that truth, they'll repeat it because that's what GOOD PEOPLE say.

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  • I feel like this is more of a people in general thing more than women. There are people, both men and women, who will do exactly what you described, and there are people, both men and women, who are voicing their honest opinions.

    For the former, the fact that this is the internet and there is anonymity to that makes it very enticing because you can be whoever you want to be and say what ever you want (I didn't post this anonymously so that you would not think that I am doing that). So you are right when you say that there is cognitive dissonance, but again, both men and women do this. In fact, I was thinking about posting a similar question for men, because I'm in the same boat. I here so many times how guys want smart, nice caring, etc. girls, but then they end up with the exact opposite of that----a superficial heartbreaker. It leaves me wondering if they are lying or if this is some sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bit. But you have to remember that nice girls get affect by this the same as nice guys. (By the way, I would be willing to date someone shorter than me and I have. I dated a guy who was 2 inches shorter than me...and I would still wear high heels...and I didn't care at all).

    For the latter, I can only speak for myself, though there are probably other women on this sight, as I can already see from the comments, who would feel the same, when I say that I am 100% honest about my opinions. I've been hurt too many times in dating and relationships to know that it's not nice to throw salt into an open wound, especially by lying, and even more so when that open wound is someone's heart. I agree with you that people, both men and women, being superficial is really wrong and ridiculous. I have fought on both sides of the issue and have not only stuck up for women who have been affected by this, be it myself or my girl friends, but also men who have been affected by this too, because too many of my good guy friends have been treated like crap over these matters. However, you can't confuse superficiality with physical attraction/chemistry. Everyone wants to find a person that they go well with and physical chemistry is apart of that. We all have different tastes in people and when we choose who we want to date or spend the rest of our lives with, we want someone that we are physically attracted to for evolutionary, physical and emotional reasons...and there's nothing wrong with that. However, this becomes an issue when it is the only/most important criteria a person has for finding a significant other and it then crosses the line into superficiality.

    Remember that we all experience doubt and that it's hard to believe in yourself in this dating world. We know what are hearts feel and should believe, but we are not always confident 100% of the time, so remember to show some grace to people at times.

    Btw, one of my girl friends is ONLY attracted to shorter guys...just saying...you'll find your girl. ;)

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  • Can't speak for every woman buddy, but personally, I always speak the truth: whether you like it or not. I'm not here to be a follower or to even judge anyone. I joined this site, to vent, learn, and be of any assistance, If possible, and that's real. Don't pay any flakes, haters, or plain weirdos any attention. They are probably going through far greater than what meets the eyes or may even be incompetent, and messed up. As long as I can help you, I'm here. Good luck and Thanks!

    Jamaica Outttttttttt

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  • Well when you ask a woman about what physical characteristics she likes, that is pretty much setting her up. Of course everyone has their preferences, but just because someone likes a guy that looks a certain way doesn't mean she won't date a guy outside of that. I like guys with dark hair, but if a guy with light hair approached me and seemed nice I would give him a chance.

    Some people do want to just people please on here and give you what you want to hear. Maybe I am guilty of that I'm honestly not sure. But I try to be understanding and cover all basis. So maybe some of my information I give out does seem contradictory, that's more because since I'm not in the same position as the person I may not know everything that is going on, so for me to give the best advice, I like to give them a few options. It could be something like that :S

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  • I noticed this too, but from men on here... one example was the question would you date a heavy set girl? Yes some would, but I know that not every guy that answered would date one... sorry people are opinionated and are picky about what they want. Personality is an issue but there has to be a spark of attraction. There's been some that didn't fit my physical requirements but still was something there that overshadowed everything else and it was a mix of personality and something physical.

    Others deliberatly write something to irritate others. I just try to write what I believe and I know its not politically correct but is my opinion.

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  • some girls are like that, but not all of them. I'm honest no matter what & only lie if its to the police hahahah well, that's only cause I would never snitch on anyone ya knowww. and who ever said the only thing that matters is personality, I think theyd be lying. I mean, it is a BIG part, but comeon, if your not attracted to someone AT ALL how can you be with them?

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  • Yes it seems that way.

    It also seems that guys want to buy the bs and any girl who admits she cares about appearance is shallow or a troll.

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  • I don't know about other women, but I always try to answer the questions on here honestly. You're not really helping anyone otherwise...

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  • Men do the same thing

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  • Well, you've also got to consider that there are a lot more girls to talk to online than there are in your social circle. But yeah, girls do tell white lies sometimes. Not to look good, but to try to avoid hurting people's feelings.

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What Guys Said 2

  • People in general do that.

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  • GIRLS ARENT VERY BIG ON APPERANCE. what they choose is a preference, like guys and hot girls. most guys won't date a girl that's too tall or even the same height as them.

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