Why a women can't tell her x boyfriend to stop textin her or calling her?

the x boyfriend might take a months without not textin her or calling her ...my point I don't know if I should believe her or not ...i feel that's bother me to be in a relationship in have your x boyfriend textin her or calling her ...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you seen the texts or know her responses? I can say that I have this guy that I dated for a bit, who randomly tries to contact me. Even before I was in a a relationship I was so over his random contact and how he would lead me on to think there was something between us, then not do a thing to move us forward. I finally laid in to him and we stopped talking, but as was his pattern anyways, he contacted me randomly. Everytime I have ignored him but honestly I have no idea if I might see a text out of the blue in the future and if my fiance will wonder what the h*ll is going on. Last time I wanted to tell him to bug off because I am engaged but I was dealing with my father in the hospital so I just had no time to say a thing and I think that was the best anyways.

    So, don't know if this is a possibility for her situation. I personally have no interest in chit chatting with ex's. They are ex's for a reason and I would never want to know that my fiance was chatting with ex-flames other than the mother of his children either, so I totally respect not talking to ex-boyfriends either.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Maybe she's not bothered by it. She only sees him as a friend.

    If she was bothered by it, she would tell him something.

    If she is bothered by it yet doesn't say anything, it can be an attention thing; that she likes how she's getting his attention now that they're not together.

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    • I agree with all of this.

    • Cool, it comes from my own experience, and hearing how others can easily keep ex's in their lives while others cut them off completely. It's a tough call to make, but it's up to the person who is receiving messages from their ex. They can write back, ignore it, or tell them get lost. Writing back is friendly, ignoring it is a bit rude, telling them to get lost, I would be worried 'cause there is still hate/love mixed in there.

  • No matter the gender or the way things ended with an ex people will always have a soft spot for their ex... I still talk to 2 of mine cause at the end of it I was with them for a long time and they were my best friend as well as my boyfriend at the time... Even with the one I hate I'd still help him if he needed it ha!

    But the point is your with her... he isn't... he had his chance and she's with you! Don't push her buttons harshly about this or she may then start thinking in a way you really don't want her to... Just give her the benefit of the doubt and tell her you feel on edge about it...

    Just remember that she's with you and she may just be caring x

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  • Tell her that there's a reason why the two of them didn't workout and if she continues to talk to him that you no longer want to be with her. I could see where that causes trust issues sine he IS an ex. I understand where you are coming from. And if you didn't care about her, you would not be concerned. Just be honest and let her know how you are feeling.

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  • Everyone is different.. Me I never tell my x to stop texting or message me because I'm not that mean its just that if he wants to be friends then fine as long as he won't harm me then its fine...

    If she replied to those msgs and she's really bothered by it then probably there's something wrong...

    I got palpitations every time he message be with gaps of 3-5months lol but I know we can't be anymore,he dumped me and I'm moving on... :)

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  • even though things are over there is always going to be that soft spot for the ex, it doesn't necesarily mean they would want to get back together though. I don't think it's necesarily a bad thing. I would let her know that you might feel uncomfortable about her doing that. but I wouldn't ask her to stop because that is not fair and it will only driver her away from you

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  • I would be upset if that was happening to me. Just talk to her about it, but realize you can't make her ex stop doing it because it's her ex. It's up to her to decide whether to cut him off completely or just get random texts from him. As long as they are not meeting up or doing anything from it, it should be fine.

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  • My new boyfriend has the same problem. After I got in a fight with my ex, I then understood what my new guy was having a problem with. Once she understands why, maybe she will look at it diffrently.

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  • You have to realize that some exes never quit... even if you'e terrible to them. For example my boyfriend's ex from THREE years ago always texts him. He never answers and he's mean as hell to her. She just won't quit. I don't have an issue with it though because we've made a game of it. The last time she did it we led her to believe he wanted to get back with her and then ended it nah nah nah nah... she was pissed but a week later acted like nothing happened. So she ran into him on campus and then texted him asking to go to lunch. He told her he'd meet her at some local place and then never showed up. She texted him to see if he was running late and he asked her if she was really that retarded. She replied "Wow". But we both know this isn't the end of her. Just make sure you know what's going on but don't throw out accusations.

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    • That's pretty pathetic in all honesty.

    • No. I disagree. I feel that since she cheated on him three years ago she needs to just back off. He tried being nice initially and now she's trying to interfere in his new relationship. People who try to interfere are pathetic. If she sets her self up over and over like that, she deserves it. Are you one of those clingy exes?

  • next time he calls, answer it and tell him to never call that number again and see what happens

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  • maybe she did tell him and he just won't stop

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What Guys Said 7

  • you know, I can't figure this out either...

    ive had GF's say that they just ignore them...but that doesn't work, just say you don't want them tesxting or calling them anymore or hey, even better...change your number!

    i mean god forbid an ex girlfriend texted or called you - it'd basically be over unless you had a very good explination

    now with that being said, I'm not saying all girls are like that...but I know way too many who are...

    hope everything works out for you brother, try telling her how you feel and if she doesn't understand then I say ignore her for a little...no matter how big or small the thing is that's bothering you, if she cares she will listen and respect you

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  • Tell her to stop if it bothers you.

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  • Tell her it's you or him, and dump her if she doesn't change her number

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  • If she keeps contact with exes, you need to leave her.

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  • who broke up with who? I bet he dumped her and she is still hanging on.

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  • Because she's an attention whore that can't let go

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  • That's the thing about x-boyfriends - you just can't tell them that sh*t. Now y-boyfriends on the other hand are a totally different story - they're cool with anything. Of course, you never have to even say this to an m, n, or k-boyfriend, all three are charming, handsome, and wealthy, so you'll never leave them.

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    • i get the x- and y- boyfriend thing...but what does the m,n,k stand for?

    • They don't stand for anything. I was just making fun of the fact that he was too lazy to put the "e" in "ex."

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