What to say in a text to get him to stop texting until he's ready?

A guy I really do like always says he likes me and I'm stupid for not seeing it but, he rarely makes the time to hangout (once or twice a month... yes we live a few hours from each other and he has a lot of work but still). He makes contact daily but phone convos are short anymore and texts are blah... he always just says he's busy or head hurts or stressed.

When he wasn't texting much in the beginning I sent him a text telling him that I like being texted daily and when he found the time to talk to me and if he became interested in me he had my number and he always contacted me immediately. However these blah texts are not enough.

When we are together it is great and our calls are good when he makes them but he's always in between jo s so they are brief.

What can I text him to tell him that I don't want to get the how are you texts that are followed by one or two texts. Yes I get them daily, but I'm getting attached to someone that isn't giving me the same commitment and while he said to have patience he is not giving me anything to hold on to until then. I rather have him get things in order and than start texting. What can I say that's nice and polite and even playful that tells this.

Updates:
See question responses below: I tend to make all date arrangements (all but one). I do 50 percent of all the texting if not more (and I only text once a day unless I hear back). I make about 40 percent of the phone calls and I don't play games. I have come out directly and said if he's not interested in me I have no problem with that. I just want more than the same text and me always asking him out... its like were stuck and not progressing
When I mean get things in order I mean get his life in order before he keeps making contact with me, because its not working out the way it is . If we could meet up once a week or once every two weeks maybe it would work, but I am free any day any time and he can't make time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You may be being too demanding. It seems you want it exactly your way, and that just isn't going to work in the given situation. You told him you like to be texted daily, so he does when he can and keeps up with how you're doing. Now that's not good enough, now you don't want to be texted at all unless he's ready. What seems to be the case is that you two need time apart. Be open to see other people (or if you're not official, make it clear you want him to only text you when he's ready to really contribute time to a relationship)

    Take heed, there is a high chance that this will cause him to forget about you. My dating life can be complicated as well due to working 8 hour shifts every day Mon-Fri, and Going to Night Classes immediately after until 10pm-12am Mon-Thursday. My ONLY free time is weekends and that will remain the case for over a year. Women are not my priority at this moment so I often don't bother looking for a girlfriend. It seems he's in a similar situation where he doesn't really have time for a significant other and this relationship should be postponed before this issue crushes it. Again, it might completely destroy the relationship chance but the current path spells 100% chance of failure unless his situation abruptly changes.

    That's the best I can advise given your situation.

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    • We've been dating 6 months and usually when he says how are u, that's followed by a fine or no response and this comes around midnight. I just want him to not text unless he wants to progress things along to more than a date a month and nothing else. I've said before not to text unless he wants to be together and he still texts the same line but nothing else. Id say OK on time apart but we don't see each other but literally a few hours a month and 3 minutes talk a day.

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    • Didnt work because he texted as if I didn't send anything, so finally stopped being nice and just said I need to date other people if this isn't going to go anywhere.

    • Rough, if he doesn't understand still, then just give him the cold shoulder. Some guys enter a long denial stage.

What Guys Said 1

  • in other words your pretty much forceing him to message u?

    Your asking here help to what to text... you think he has any easyer time to think what to text to you every day as many times you want to?

    Stop waiting for him to send them, send them yourself with something interesting, or call him or go visit him personally. There is no law that a guy has to do all of the asking out!

    If you just anoy him with asking to be texted massivly and won't give him space, he will notice that your really obsessed with him and that's a major turn of with most guys.

    Guys like to be loved, but not to be reallly obsessed over!

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    • Nope I don't want any more messages until he actually has time to message and start a relationship. Everynite the same how are you followed by one comment is not what I want. I have asked him out on all but one date and I do equal calling and texting/

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    • Hiding the fact that he isn't interested or has another is far easyer for him.

    • Why keep texting than... I don't get that. But I think Ill just to get things in life in order and than contact me if he wants. I was just trying to figure out how to word it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Just move on if he's not ready you have to let him go

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