How to handle dating like a kid again?

I'm dating a girl who's 19 and is six years younger than I am. I normally wouldn't do this but the girl is very mature and actually more mature than most girls I've dated my age.

The issue is she lives with her parents who keep tabs on her and want to know everything that's going on. I can appreciate that and am not trying to use her and do anything they wouldn't want but it's a bit annoying. Dates can't be spontaneous because her parents want to know what movie we'll be seeing or what restaurant we'll be at. I like surprises and spontaneity on a date and it's hard.

Her parents also want to meet me. I used to think I'd love this because I never dated in high school and I'm the guy parents always love. But I feel like I'm regressing 10 years in time.

We haven't been out a ton of times but things are moving along very well with lots of long phone calls between dates. Because it's new, I don't want to have a super-serious talk with her about how I feel, but I kind of want to just to clear the air because I think I might put off a vibe as if I am a bit agitated by their behavior and don't want her to wonder why.

I don't want to give up a very emotionally healthy girl who acts probably 10 years older than she is but I'm wondering how to co-exist with her protective parents without feeling like an idiot.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Honestly, I would just man up and deal with it bro. This is bro-to-bro right now. I've had a similar situation, where my parents are the lenient ones who just want to know where I'm going and what time they expect me to be back, and the girl I'm dating is younger and has a crazy curfew and all sort of other chains. But if you reaaaaally like the girl, don't think about what's going to make YOU comfortable, work around HER situation so that she sees you really care about her and also so her parents don't think you are deliberately trying to defy their house laws. As I'm sure you know, spontaneity is nice, but it won't make or break a relationship between you and your girl. Its the time you spend together that will, no matter what you are doing.

    And yes, get on meeting those parents pronto. If they want to, you need to.

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  • If you are serious about this girl, introduce yourself to her parents ASAP. Suggest you all go out to dinner. The father will probably want to pay. Let him. You're sending the message that you know you're encroaching on his territory but that you acknowledge he's the chief c*ck. Obviously be on your best behavior but don't act fake. After a few weeks things should start loosening up. They're just making sure you're not planning to f*ck and then dump their daughter.

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    • It's a good idea, although I think parents should realize in 2011 a girl who wants to get f-ed and maybe dumped will do it whether they like it or not. That said, I'll take your advice. I guess my question was more related to feeling like an idiot. I'm sure I'll wow the parents immediately (which is probably why most 19-year-olds wouldn't like me :D) but it's almost like I'm past the point in my life where I want to play that game. I once felt like I missed out but now I feel that era is past

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    • Yeah. I've been to Europe three times on business and the women over there are sane. It's amazing. They have logical reactions to things and all the ones I met weren't drama queens or prima donnas. No games. This one gorgeous Italian girl walked right up to me at a party and asked if I have a girlfriend, even before my name. Simply...amazing.

    • Yeah, people everywhere ask my if American women are as bad as they've heard. It's hard to say all Americans are, but it's really our culture, not the girls. When Cosmo convinces you you should have lost your virginity by 13 and that you're a prude if you aren't having sex while swinging from a chandelier with a guy you know you'll break up with, what do you expect? Europeans admit they love sex and Asians are coy about it. Both are HONEST. We're the hypocrites in the middle.

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