Girls, would you be offended if I asked you to not mention us dating?

This is a question for the women. I am going to be taking a young lady out this week that I work with and some of the other women in the office have made comments like, "oh, you should date her" or "you guys would be so cute together". Now I'm not really offended by this, but at this same time I don't really like the idea of people at work being nosey and asking how things went, or what's up with us... so do you think it's appropriate to ask my date that we keep it on the down-low from our work friends? I don't want her to be offended thinking I'm embarrased to be going out with her obviously, but at the same time I don't really need the added pressure of a bunch of old ladies trying to watch a live soap opera unfold in front of them. If a guy asked you not to tell people at work you were dating, would you think he was embarrased of you? or would you understand why?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So long as he explained himself I would be fine.

    My current boyfriend and I didn't tell anyone we were together until about two or three months into the relationship because people would have given me sh*t about it. (My ex had just broken up with me and then I started dating a new guy about two weeks later and they'd say he was a rebound or they'd think I was a slut or something.)

    We weren't going to tell anyone for another month but one of his friends bitched us out for not having it on Facebook and stuff so we just changed it to shut her up. Mind you I love this girl, she's awesome and one of my favorite people so I don't mean that sentence meanly at all.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I would loose interest in you if you said that to me. You worry way too much about what other people think.

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  • Actually I understand this completely. Yes you can ask her to keep it from work people and she by all rights shouldn't be offended work and your life outside of work are two different things. Some peeople just don't want their private life to be fule for work gossip and that's completely understandable.

    I don't know how this girl will take it I think it depends on how close at this point you two are and what words you use to ask her to keep it private.

    I personaly wouldn't be offended but some girls live to gossip about their private life at work so it more or less depends on how private a person is and how much they like to gossip...Good luck at any rate

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  • I would be greatly offended! When I'm in a relationship I like to make it known that he is mine and that is that. Besides, we're girls, we like to talk about things like that.

    Such as: remember how in high school you'd write notes to your girlfriend and pass them to her in between classes? Well, those were passed around a table. We need something to show the other witches.

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  • Tell her you are uncomfortable with your personal life being put out in public and see what she says. If she readily agrees then suggest that you make an agreement to keep your date private from work people (not EVERY one right?) If she can't stick to the agreement and goes back to work and is a chatty Cathy then you 2 are not compatible. If she keeps it down low then go out again.

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    • Correct... I am just talking about the gossip queens at work. I am not embarrased in the least, I just don't like being asked personal details from other co-workers who I am not close with.

  • Well, if you know anything about old ladies, they will be nosey no matter how "on the dl" you keep it. But I think you should just tell her everything you said in the above! That's perfectly understandable, and if she's a reasonable girl, she'll respect that and be happy you wanted her input on it.

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  • NO I would not be offended.. I actually just went through this... I work at a hospital filled with nosey people and the guy I am with works with me too... in the beginning everyone asked and I told... now I regret it because I feel like its all out there... its not a horrible thing, but I feel like I should have keep it a little more private...

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  • depends how down low you would want to keep it. if you mean by down low as in not telling anyone about your really personal business but letting others know you're dating should be fine. I think it'd be alright to keep your personal life personal. hopefully she would understand. you don't have to directly tell her just when others ask about it you could just say things like " we did stuff " just don't put in a lot of detail.

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  • Well I personally believe that a info about relationship should remain between those people. I think you should tell her that you fell uncomfortable with the idea of everyone being so interested in relations with one another. Just make sure you make it clear that you're not embarrassed by her or ashamed or whatever, just tell her you don't want to become the gossip in the work place.

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  • it shouldn't be an issue, just make sure you tell her why you wanna keep it that way for now. otherwise, she may be offended. but I think it's a good idea to not mention anything for a while, this way you can see how things go. good luck (:

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  • i would be offended by that. I would think that he's just using me.

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  • Not at all, but it would REALLY help, if you told her what you told us...just in a nicer way about the old ladies. Just tell her that you want to keep your work life and your personal life seperate.

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  • i would be offended and not date him. I'd think he was trying to hide me because he was embarrassed of me.

    lets be honest here, if the girl from your job looked like kim kardashian (or whatever celeb you think is beautiful) I doubt you'd want to keep it quiet.

    its best to make a side comment and say something like "wow people at work love to get in your business" and have a spin off conversation about how nosy your co-workers are. most likely she'll get the hint because most of us don't want to be subject of workplace gossip too

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