Why do I get so bummed out whenever he takes too long to text back??

I have a boyfriend and I just love him so much and I love to text him, but it's like why do I have to get to bummed out whenever he takes too long to text back or if he doesn't text back at all? I know he doesn't do it on purpose. I feel like I'm being an obsessive psycho b**** and I can't stand girls like that. But it's not like I constantly text him over and over again when he doesn't text back saying thing like "why haven't you texted me back?" "what are you doing!" "you don't love me anymore!" NOOOO... I don't do things like that! And plus he tells me why he hasn't texted back and then he apologizes, but still, I just get a little bummed out and I hold it all in. I never told him about it because there are worse things. I think I know the answer, but I would like your opinions. Thank You :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • tell him how you feel and say you realize that its kind of silly but for some reason it bugs you. ask him if he knows ahead of time that he won't be able to text you that he tell you that so you're not waiting for 45 for a reply when you know he's busy. its okay to feel this way. something that would help is if he's not texting for a while leave your cell for like a half hour and go do something. keep yourself busy without bothering to check your phone, and remember he can't always be texting and neither can you. take a bit of a break from it.

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    • That's true. Because it's not like I don't take long to text him sometimes either, that's why I don't know why it bothers me so much. Thank You:)

What Guys Said 5

  • You're not being obsessive or clingy but you are getting TOO emotionally attached to him and that's not good for anyone

    You should learn to be happy on your own and without him. Wouldn't that be great to not depend on anyone else and just do your own thing? I Mean what're you going to do if he leaves you?

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    • I would cry my eyes out

  • I used to be like that too, but I crushed those feelings because it was pretty pathetic.

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  • I'm kinda like that too when I really like someone. Maybe we just care a bit too much, think that's all. :)

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    • Yeah,probably so. Thank you:)

  • Because anticipation is half the fun

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  • I'm not even a big texter, but I do like when people respond quickly because I'm used to it since I always have my phone in my pocket... but it's no the case for everyone. I used to get kind of irritated or start wondering when my girlfriend would take forever to text me back, but whenever she is out her phone is in her purse and she doesn't even look at it for hours sometimes... so he's not necessarily ignoring you, some people just don't always pay attention to their phones or may be busy doing something, talking to someone else or not be able to respond right away. You'll drive yourself crazy obsessing over it.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Here's the thing. Guys don't think the way we do. They don't see it being a top priority to text back quickly. Men seem to focus on one thing at a time, not like us crazy females who can think and do 100 things at once lol. I'd really suggest reading a book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It was written back in the 90s and was a best seller - think it still is. You can read it for free online - I can pm you the link if you want it.

    Just try to not get too hungup and go and do something else - even just say to yourself, OK I will look at my cell in 10 minutes, or I'll go and tidy my room, then check my cell - anything just to take your mind off it for a bit. Sometimes we can get carried away and so worked up. It's called "negative automatic thoughts" - very common. Have a look on Google for it - think that will help also. Hope this helps.

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    • Thank you so much. Because that is true. I can do like 50 things and still text him. and when he doesn't text me, he says it was because he was doing something like cleaning. Thanks again for your help because I do check my phoe constanlly for text messages and I drive myself crazy when I don't see a reply.

    • Yep I find it difficult too when a guy I like doesn't text back right away. If you can get your frame of mind into the fact that yes, he does do other things, like eat, go to the toilet, play computer games, has homework, etc then it will be a bit easier to deal with. I know it's tough - I sometimes have problems with it too, but if you can tell yourself to switch your phone off for 5 min or go and do something else it does help. Your mind clears too and things don't seem so urgent/desperate

    • Yeah I know. I just don't like it when he stops texting me in the middle of a conversation. But when he tells me he's busy and won't be able to text me then I won't get upset. But I know what you're saying too :)

  • I feel like you do sometimes. :) I don't want to act like a b**** but I just kinda feel let down when he doesn't reply right away. I think it's just because we care a lot.

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    • Thank You! Atleast somebody knows what I'm going through!

  • Just don't text him and see what he does. He may then start to text you more. If you trust him, that should be fine then right?

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    • we don't have any problems with trust :)

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    • Tried it, and he did :) thank you :)

    • Yep, np :)

  • You may be a little addicted to him. You may need to be able to be more objective and "centered" with him, while still maintaining strong feelings. In fact it helps the relationship cos you're more in control of your strong feelings.

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