A guy I was seeing broke things off, BUT he says he still wants to hang out?

Uh,yeah. He says he likes me,is OK with talking/hanging out,but doesn't want to date me. Even my friends thought that was odd--guys included.

We even ended up sexting recently..but I'm sure he was drinking.

Thoughts?

Updates:
You guys are so right. Thing is-I haven't spoken to him about the sexting. I was hoping he'd bring it up the next day,but nada.

If it does turn into friends with benefits I don't think I could say no. That is something we were always good at;-)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • just a response to your update...

    if you guys become fwb's make sure that's what you really want..as long as you can control your feelings for him (if you have any) because guys are good at controlling their emotions. just make sure you're strong enough to continue just being friends, don't let yourself get hurt.

    this is totally happening to me right now, the guy is OK with being friends, but we hooked up on the weekend after breaking up 3 weeks ago. But he made it clear he doesn't want to get back together. I can't be friends with him right now because I don't wanna be JUST friends. So I'm backing off...good luck with you though :)

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What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

What Girls Said 6

  • He's using you and you're letting him. There is no problem in staying friends, that is healthy but the sexting on the side is not. He wants to make sure he has you as a backup, he knows you have feelings which is what he's playing on, he doesn't want you he wants your body which is the harsh truth. If you just want plain sex then go ahead but remember that it can and probably will back fire on you because girls tend to develop feelings in these types of situations because they believe they are wanted again. He is using you and not worth your time, go find somebody else who is worth it.

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    • @update: You need to speak to him, bring it up. If it's awkward to do so then that's how your friends with benefit relationship will turn out. You'll do stuff secretly and feel bad because you've got secrets and you aren't in a proper relationship. You should get out while you still can!

  • He wants his cake and to eat it too. Sorry, but a guy that tells you he doesn't want to DATE you, but wants to HANG and "sext" you...he doesn't want any strings attached. If you really think you can handle that, and enjoy being a "friends with benefits", fine. But, if you have any feelings for him at all, I would not give him the time of day anymore.

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  • The exact same thing happened with me! And it just won't work out anymore for us to date... I guess that's just the way it is.

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  • He wants to be your friend with some benefits not your boyfriend.

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  • he wants a friend right now. not a girlfriend. it's understandable

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  • When you say you were "seeing" each other, were you having sex? Considering his drunk sexting, I will say this guy is trying to convert you into some sort of booty call deal. If a guy did not want to date me, I would never respond to a drunk sext message and, considering he sexted me, I would not want him for a friend either because I don't need friends like that.

    In your age group or older it is not unusual for a guy to decide to stop dating but want casual sex with you.

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    • Yea,we had the sex. And when we weresexting (which is what we did a lot when we were seeing each other)it didn't start out that way..we were just talking about whatever then it just happened. And no,I didn't end it:)

    • Well you might want to rethink FWB. You will just end up feeling used and crummy. Guys that do this will call you only when they are horny, not when you want anything. They will see other girls, call you last minute, go for weeks or months without calling and all of a sudden want sex. You end up feeling like a human sex toy, not like a person with feelings.

    • I think women who do get converted to FWB by a guy think in the back of their mind that eventually he will want to go back to dating or will want a relationship, but it doesn't work that way. So, after each sex session you wonder why he doesn't want more, why he downgraded you from a person he loved to go out with to a girl he only calls here and there for sex. Move on from this a-hole and keep your options open for a guy who appreciates everything you are.

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