How to handle rebound relationship?

I met a girl at the mall a month or so ago. We flirted for quite awhile and I asked her for her info; she said she had a boyfriend but gave it to me anyway. I emailed her and she wrote me back saying she had a boyfriend who'd she be with "forever" but said we could be "best friends". I got busy and didn't keep up with her and I'm sure she went back to her boyfriend.

Last week, she emails me wanting to get together, saying she'd been busy (with her boyfriend I'm sure) but wanted to meet up. She started texting me somewhat frequently with flirty messages. Then she tells me her boyfriend cheated on her, and now the messages are even more flirty and that she wants to meet up with "someone fun". I keep calling her a "friend" but I do like her but feel something will go wrong. How should I approach our meeting?

Also, I'm a virgin, not because I've never dated but because I never got far along enough with anyone I really liked (I know, I sound like a girl. from the '50s) and I'm wondering how I'd feel if this girl, who I like(d), would make me miserable if things go somewhere, then blow up.

How do these kinds of deals work?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she needs to take time to think about what just happened and what exactly she wants. It's like less than a week and she's already onto the next guy. She can make you miserable by not fully commiting to you as you possibly grow to like her more than she likes you. She's moving on too quickly and you might be rebound. You should just take it slow if she is interested in you. A Rebounder tends to want comfort and someone to fill the void for a while but could hurt others if their new partner is just that, 'a filling of the void'. In that case she may just be selfish, but it itakes time to know a person for who they really are ;*)

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What Girls Said 2

  • With a rebound relationship you def do not want to jump into it to fast. You do not want to lay your feelings out on the line or anything else that may cause you to hurt in the end. The main things to understand about a rebound relationship is the chances of this girl running back to her ex is very high. So, this is something you need to be very aware of.

    The other thing is. she could be using you and that's also something you need to be very careful about as well.

    If you do decided to meet her make sure your guards are up. let her know that this is just as friends.and go out and have fun with her.

    Who knows what may happen you could end up with a great friendship or a great relationship.

    On the flip side just be prepare for the bad to happen. You are putting yourself in the middle of you crazy messed up life.and if by chance her meeting up with her makes her ex boyfriend mad.you will have that to deal with.

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  • Don't meet her. She probably just wants to make her ex jealous by seeing you and you don't want to be that guy. If you do meet her tell you just want to be friends and your not interested in someone who is hurting from a previous relationship.

    She should understand that you don't want to be a rebound guy and if she does like you in return you can just be friends until she has gotten over her ex.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm also a virgin, and it's not all that strange. She just needs someone to fill in the gap that her old boyfriend left and you're first on her list, and when she said she wants a "fun" guy, it's safe to say she's not referring to roller skating and a burger joint. If you're not open to a sexual relationship, proceed with caution.

    It's possible that she is genuinely interested in you, and it's possible that she just wants to use you until the next "fun" guy comes along. If you want to get together with her and have some casual dates, that's your call; the only way to find out if she genuinely likes you is to test the waters and get your feet wet. But whatever you do, stay good friends and don't commit to anything with her until she proves to you that you're not just the third wheel -- and don't even think about "friends with benefits". You'll just feel worse in the long run.

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