Tomboys and girlie girls--what drives you to become either one?

I notice that there is a 50/50 percentage of girls on here who are either girlie girls or tomboys. Girlie girls like to go shopping wear fashionable clothes and do sports relating to how they look (cheerleading, beach volleyball) while tomboys normally play video games, dress more manly and play sports like softball and basketball.

So what I am wondering is what is it that drives you to become either one of them and why..Do you like who you are now have you ever been the opposite and would you ever change for a guy or even another girl (lesbians, bi's)..

Disclaimer: I do know that not all girlie girls and tomboys fit these descriptions. I was just pointing out the ones that exemplify them

Updates:
Love the answers. Keep them coming

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Like all the other girls on here, I'm both! I think I am the way I am, in large part, because I grew up in the South/southwest. Here where I live, a lot of girls play sports and get dirty, but we really care about our appearance!

    My tomboy attibutes:

    I played competitive softball for 9 years.

    I play video games when I feel like being lazy.

    I horseback ride, mountain climb, do outdoorsy things, etc.

    I REALLY want to go hunting!

    I workout.

    I'm about to start Muay Thai and love to watch UFC.

    I love motocross and extreme stuff like that.

    I listen to heavy metal.

    My girlie attributes:

    I love makeup!

    I love horses!

    I love animals in general! Lol

    My favorite specific color is pink, but when people ask what my favorite color is, I say sparkly rainbow because in reality, that's right. Hahah that makes no sense but whatever.

    I love to do my hair.

    I love to shop.

    I'm boy crazy!

    I have a cute-sie voice that's high pitched and people usually attribute that to my girliness.

    I love to get my nails done.

    I do the facial mask things! (Typical girl!)

    That's not all, but it's a pretty good list. Basically, I'm that way because my parents gave me a good balance. My mom is ALL girlie and my dad is ALL man! And I've been this way my whole life. I don't think I would change for a guy. He should love my for who I am cus I think I'm pretty awesome! Lol

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What Girls Said 19

  • I'd love to know where you get your statistics from! I highly doubt tomboys are anywhere near as prevalent as you suggest. Due to gender role shifts, less women feel obligated to wear dresses and skirts so you see that less as people also dress up less often than they used to, but I don't suspect that makes anyone tomboyish - you can still identify a tomboy from a modern feminine woman. That said, I am a tomboy and enjoy shopping and some "girlish" pursuits. Tomboys don't think they are men nor do they want to be treated like them, we just have certain preferences we incorporate into our lives. For example, I enjoy sports and hanging with the boys, but I would freak out if I ever had to deal with a spider, I can't fix a car, and I appreciate flowers and romantic gestures. In appearance, I am boyish, but I have a soft side too, and that's important to remember when dealing with tomboys - they are all different, like everyone else.

    As for how I got to be that way, it's an interesting question. My mom dressed me (in very feminine attire) as a baby and toddler but once I had a choice in clothing (when I was 4 and was allowed to start making decisions), I always picked boy clothes. I never grew up around boys and had an incredibly female-oriented household, so I was quite the oddball at home. It rooted itself in me very early. I also have a slightly deep voice, so I think I may have some extra testosterone, though I've never verified that. I just always felt like a combination of both genders, but could relate more to men and masculinity and always preferred the clothing and scents of men. So I would say that, for me, it was just innate. However, what made me stay that way is up for debate; My mom tried to FORCE me to be feminine and fought with me daily growing up, she really disliked my boyish nature, which came naturally to me and thus it was very hurtful. The fact that I am still tomboyish is a combination - it is still what I feel most natural being and is who I really am, but the fact that I don't experiment more with femininity has to do also with having negative feelings about wanting that for myself, because it was something that was forced on me in such an extreme way that the thought is unappealing and a turn-off. Once in a blue moon I will wear some makeup if I am going into a job interview or have a very important occasion and I really don't mind doing that, but I don't own any skirts or dresses and have a very unisex wardrobe. I haven't worn a dress in about 10 years, but I can tell you the last time I had to, I felt completely naked, that's the level of discomfort and awkwardness, it's just not me at all. In answer to your last question - yes, I like myself now, and I liked myself growing up, too. I've always known I was OK being myself and staying true to my own path feels good.

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  • I'm a combination of both. I grew up as a tomboy until I was 17 when I became more of an 'in between'. I'm probably like this because of my older brothers, and the thing about having older siblings is that you grow up always trying to emulate them. I was interested in the things they were interested in (dirt biking, drums, electric guitars, heavy metal, video games..especially warcraft, diablo & street fighter lol).

    also, I was in an all-girls school from when I was 7 all the way till I was 16. and at 17 I got into design school doing fashion and there were plenty of guys around. the fact that I was co-existing with guys in school made me pay attention to them more and this made me sort of change my dressing into a more "girly" type. in essence I was still a tomboy, but outwardly I cared about appearance (clothes & makeup) like the typical girlie girl does.

    i enjoy fashion..styling myself and others, buying sh*tloads of makeup that I'll never use...ever. when I'm home I turn on my computer to play diablo 2 (waiting for diablo3 now) or left4dead2 with my guy friends. I go kayaking, rock climbing and train muay thai on most weekends, but I do doll up in a nice outfit and look my best and head out on a girls' night out in town whenever I can. my good pals are mostly guys, and my female buddies are kinda like me too. I could get into more examples but I don't' think that's what your question's asking

    i do like what I am now and I'm not sure if I would ever change it for a guy. I don't think I can completely give up clothes & makeup, and neither will I be able to completely give up my activities. I enjoy both and taking one out would kinda be like upsetting the balance :p

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  • Well, for me, I'm kind of a combination of the two. I was a cheerleader for two years, but I've always hated to shop. I don't dress manly, but I'm not wearing clothes covered in glitter and pink all the time either. But if I had to guess as to why anyone becomes either a tomboy, a girly-girl, or a combination of the two, I would say it could be a lot of things. Where you live or your family could influence it. I don't think there's just one thing that goes into how you become either one. And I've always been the same, except one year I tried to change in order to make more friends and I didn't like who I became, so I went back to being myself. I wouldn't ever change again, I like who I am. :)

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  • Im somewhere in the middle, because its just who I am.

    I am far from dainty and feminine ]. However, I love to FEEL pretty and girly, so I wear makeup that makes me look nice, and if it comes in cute packaging all the better. I like to wear dresses and pretty lacy things underneath. It just makes me feel like a girl.

    Usually, I'm a bit more like a bro. I love jeans, my leather jacket and keds. I drink beer, and tell crass jokes. I can be a dude, but I like to combine the two. Ill wear my jeans with a girlie tee shirt and my leather jacket and some nice boots.

    Im one of those girls who is in between.

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  • I'm a tomboy :D

    I grew up with a couple older brothers, ( I'm the only girl,) as my role models. My mom played lots of sports when she was younger, so I guess I inherited that gene too. I love playing video games and kicking my brother's ass at them lol being outside, skateboarding, street basketball, watching football, and just really hanging out with guys.

    But I'm no butch;

    I still, (actually love,) to go shopping, wearing dresses, heels, and make-up occasionally. I'm a tomboy, but I'm still a girl lol

    I think it just mostly depends on the girl's personality; sure I've grown up with mainly male influences, but I've met girls who are tomboys, who grew up with only sisters who are really girly. Even if I was an only child, I'd probably still be the same because I just happen to like the things that are considered " guy " stuff.

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  • I'm both extremes. I'm a cosmetology student, so I love working with hair color and make up and making people look and feel beautiful. I love a good love story as long as it's not to cheesy and sappy, and I love to dress up real nice.

    On the other hand, I was born a gamer/nerd/quasi-faux scholar of all things. On my free time when I'm not at school worrying about making people beautiful, I'm playing video games, reading articles about video games, reading about new scientific breakthroughs, watching a lot of friggin Star Trek:ToS and Dinosaur documentaries, and if I'm feeling a little extra ambitious, you'll find me watching one hour long lectures from Universities on whatever subject I feel like learning about.

    I really can't say I'm either a girlie girl or a tomboy... (though when I was in elementary school the bullies thought it would be amusing to get all of our class mates to call me a lesbian... I really didn't blossom til senior year of high school)... but I can say I might be obsessed with knowing everything.

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  • I like to think of myself as in the middle. I dress fashionably when I feel like it and can kick back in soccer shorts and a t shirt too. I wear makeup every day, but I don't over do it and spend hours getting ready. I play ice hockey and soccer and I love sports and watching sports. I am very competitive. I grew up with two older brothers and I really think that that was the cause of my tom boyishnes. I played some World of Warcraft and Starcraft growing up and I really enjoy hanging out with the guys, but as I have gotten older I have definitely become more feminine while maintaining my sporty boyish side.

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  • well, i like to get my nails done, make myself look nice doesn't have to be like fashionista nice but still nice, I think you can wear jeans and a t-shirt and still look nice. like doing my hair sometimes get it colored but haven't since around Christmas time. I love foootbalĺ, baseball and basketball. so I guess a little bit of both.. I take my sport watching to heart and get mad if we lose.

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  • I do know that families plays an important part too...

    It is kind of sad just hear this... [ tomboy version]

    Cause traditions states that parents prefer boys right? They will try and try to get a boy and even kill off their daughters.

    So when a girl hears this at a young age her quickest thought would be to be a boy because then she can earn her parents love... Because she feel insecure about being a girl..

    her parents will say : "You are just a girl... bla bla"

    Thus she took it upon herself to play as the MAN of the house...

    She could have grown up to a lovely young lady but her mind tells her no. Girls- curse the fact of life. When she grows up her mind, being so obsessed with wanting to be a boy had eventually change her.

    Slowly she strayed away from girls group and joins the boys, hang out with her "brothers." and male classmates.

    And every time the boys will ask : "why don't you hang out with your female friends..."

    she replys :""I have none."

    She loved it as what she is now and will carry on her fathers surname proudly even when she gets married.

    She says:"I don't care for traditions."

    But luckily for her she is better now and she the world more openly. She treated herself more as a neuter now and less like a boy. In general, neutral to both genders. ^V^

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  • Im actually a little bit of both :) I love dressing cute, doing my hair and make-up, going shopping etc. but I'm fine with bumming it, I love sports, video games, animals etc. so I'm not afraid to get down and dirty...I think I'm like this because my mom raised me to have the balance...she always said it's a good thing to be able to be working with the horses and get dirty without caring then to be able to clean up real good lol Idk, plus I like being able to be a little bit of both lol

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  • I think how and where you grow up is a big factor. My dads kind of a crazy redneck and I loved hangin out with him when I was little so I love sports, 4-wheeling, playin in the dirt, climbing trees, all that jazz haha. But I'm growing up and I like to look nice for my boyfriend so I'm kinda discovering my feminine side. I'm definately not girlie but I'm learning a balance :)

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  • I'm both. I love zombies, playing video games, basketball and soccer. but I can be very girlie too. so I'd say I'm somewhat in the middle. a bit of both.

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  • I've always been a tomboy and I've always been like that, I think its the way i was raised that drove me to be who I am today and my morals such as I believe a girl doesn't have to wear make up to beautiful or have the best clothes its who you are as a person. I also do prefer video games over shopping, and I do play rough sports such as football (soccer) NRL AFL surfing skate boarding so yeah

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  • Well I am both.

    I play videos games...wrestle...hangout with dudes...watch sports.

    Do pageants...put on makeup...wear jewlery, dresses in fancy princess dresses...cook...clean...

    I am not butch...i do like dudes...but I prefer them as freinds as to girls...guys are more fun for me in general.

    I HATE CHEER LEADing...but I would play soccer anyday if I could.

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  • I've been a tomboy ever since 5th grade maybe.. I began playing basketball baseball on all boy teams and that really rubbed off on me. I am also the only girl in the family which I think led to me being a tomboy.

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  • I think I'm both. I love basketball and soccer, yet I'm obsessed with shopping. (You get the point)

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  • oh, I was a proper tomboy as a kid. I used to play football (English, btw) and I had a bunch of friends who were lads, most of which older than me. I liked cycling, I used to horseride, sail and kayak too - had to give most of this up to start college. Most of my friends are gamers, I'm not because my family isn't the type to get me a console so I just have my vintage collection (gameboys, dreamcasts etc xD). Anyways now I'm girlier, I like looking pretty but I hate clothes shopping. I spend money on books, music and films mostly :) So overall I'm guessing I'm somewhere in between?

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  • I'm a mix because I like fashion and shopping but don't like any sports but I like playing video games

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  • I'm girlie because I believe in taking care of your appearance. There are people who wash and wax their car because they take pride in their ride looking smooth, well I like to look good too. I used to be a tomboy when I was going through a depressed stage and I felt like crap. I don't know how some girls do it. When you look good, you feel good, at least for me. No I would not change for a guy. If he doesn't like me how I am there are plenty of other girls he can choose from.

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