Should I break up with boyfriend of 3 years over online girl literally trying to steal him from me?

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I have a daughter who is 3 and he has been in her life since she was 4 months old. He was sort of in a relationship when we met, we started dating, and then he cheated on me within the first 6 months. We broke up, then he started calling me and coming over, while he was dating one of his ex's before me. We started dating again and have been dating since then but just a couple weeks ago I found all these convo's and emails on his comp. from a girl that only lives 45 min. away.theyve never met but she told him where she works and stuff then coincidentally he has had to go to target in that town twice this week, there is one that's half that far so its obvious why he went there.they still haven't met but they are talking seriously about it and whenever she mentions him cheating on me not once does he say he won't do it.and also he hasn't said a word about her to me.i know what he's doing is wrong but I also know that he does love me and my daughter and I really honestly think she is trying to literally "steal" him from me.like trying to make him do it because at first he doesn't seem interested.i don't know what to do and I feel lost.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your senerio reminds me of the ol' "he wants his cake and eat it too" phrase. Meaning he wants the relationship with you, (for security perhaps?) but wants to keep his other options open as well. Three years in my opinion, is a relationship worth saving. Try talking to him about it, see what he has to say for himself. That being said, people who are happy in their relationships DO NOT cheat. The fact that he uses the internet to do so behind your back is not ok. Mistakes can be made, but this would make him a second time offender. Good luck, I hope the two of you can work it out, if not, move on, not only for you but for your little one as well.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Its not love Dear sorry. If he was In LOVE with you then he wouldn't be doing this to you and your little girl did they talk about sex? If he was in love with you then he would be spending all his time with you.I think that he really is cheating on you, I hope I'm wrong if he's doing it to his ex and still with you duh wake up and see him for what he really is. Please don't let any man treat you in ways of disrespect. I see a pattern here don't you?His ex you the new girl ?Now I have a question for you ! Are you scared that he will leave you and your little girl.

    do you think that you won't be able to find somebody and then have to put your little one thought that again? There is something call interdependency needs where after you brake up and keep getting back together a lot cos in some way you depend on each other for something, You maybe needing security of to feel loved he may just want sex, happens alot.

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  • That is very serious.3 years a long time to be with someone.i would say that you should get another man that is going to love you right.if he really loves you and your baby than he shouldnt be going out to meet other girls.he needs to realize that he got an excellent girl at home because not every girl will take their ex back after he has cheated on them and they had a baby together.u got many things to realize mny things.if he cheated on you when you had the baby and you took him back.then what is going to stop him from doing the same thing.if you need more advice let me kno.ill listen to ur problems.

    my name is javier.

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    • Thx..thats nice of u. he isn't the father, but he's been there since she was 4 months old so she considers him to be.

What Girls Said 4

  • Um, just look at his past. All his relationships have overlapped one another. If he really loved you he wouldn't be talking to this chick this way and acting so suspicious. She can't steal anything that doesn't want to be stolen. I'm sorry but as much as this guy "loves" you, is it really a good idea to stay with him? If you guys have an on and off again relationship you will give your daughter the wrong message. You have to put you and your daughter before any guy. He may not cause fights or anything but he's still disrespecting you.

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    • Thx..an un-biased opinion was pretty much the same as mine so..idk gotta do what you gotta do I guess..sucky.

  • Well there you go-he was already ina a relationship when you met. You should not be surprised that he has cheated on you/plans on cheating again. You don't deserve this and don't accept it. Say "I know what's going on" and give him an ultimatum, say he needs to choose now if he really wants to be with you and only you, or he needs to walk out the door and not lead a lie.

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  • Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter how much he says he wouldn't do it anymore. Dump this loser. You deserve better!

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  • have you talked to him about it first. if he does meet her then you should end it, but if they're just talking, w/e. if you break up with him over him talking online, then you might appear insecure, but if he's got other issues that you are tired of then dump his a**. but I would try talking to him first to see if he can resolve his behavior

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