I'm a 22 year old girl and I've never had a date or been in a relationship. I'm in grad school and I have intentions of going to medical school afterwards. I know this sounds a bit ridiculous to some, but I have high hopes for the world, and I could even see myself pursing a combined MD/PhD. Is this a turn-off to guys? I worry sometimes that I just may never be loved by anyone or been seen as attractive to anyone. When I obsess about matters such as these, I often tell myself that may be the case and I'm just going to have to live with it.
What are your opinions? I'm a very friendly person and I love to talk to people, but it seems as though no one is interested (worst part is, I don't even have the time, and it's not because I'm not making the time). I take care of myself as best as I can. and I guess I'm still not attractive.
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, there is absolutely no problem with a girl knowing what she wants in life. And it's quite attractive, really.
I know the other end of this. I met a girl my freshman year of college that was the sweetest, nicest, hard working girl I have ever met. The first time I saw her she was actually folding my underwear. but that's another story! :-P
You two have a lot in common- She too is a very determined woman. She too is driven to succeed professionally- except she wants to be a lawyer (and yes, I've used the whole "What do you say to a lawyer buried up to her neck in sand? "Not enough sand." routine). She never went out of her way to make time for any romance. Most of the time she doesn't think she's beautiful, or attractive either.
But guess what? I fell in love with her. Sounds really stupid, huh?
Fast forward 6 years. She told me just recently that she thinks she's gonna be forever alone, and that any guy would never "put up with a girl like her". She had given up on herself when it comes to relationships. She was defeated.
Do you know how much that hurts? To fall for a girl that doesn't love herself? To somehow think that, despite how awesome or how hard she works at what she wants, that she will never be happy?
I can tell you it sucks. I'd describe it as worse than getting kicked in the nuts (and that really, really hurts!)
You know what I told her? I told her "You have one guy right in front of you right now that loves you no matter what. You ARE a beautiful girl, you're kind, sweet, driven, successful, sexy, and everything any guy that's worth you would want. And you're worth every effort to be with you."
I'm not sure how well it was received, but I will tell you the same basic thing. Nobody deserves or is destined to be alone. I'm sure there are guys out there, even some that you may have overlooked before, that would give their left eye to even have a shot with you, because you are a beautiful, determined, and successful young woman. Yes, it takes effort, and yes, it takes time. I really don't believe it will affect your time and studies that much, either.
But know this- the minute you deny yourself a shot at being happy is the minute that everything you've worked hard for doesn't mean a thing. We all have just a short time on this Earth; it's much too short and painful to squander it by not being happy.
Best of luck to you, and if you need to know more, post back or private message. Sorry if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's getting late. Best of luck to you! :-P3