Would you let your daughter stay a week with a guy she met online?

Would you let your 20 year old daughter stay a week with a guy she met online that you've never met? Oh, and he's in another country (Canada).

Updates:
I've known this guy for a while (2 years). I know for a fact he's not some 40 year old pedo who wants to rape me lol, but my parents are skeptical. Anddd...I'm still in their house and they're paying for my college so I'm sort of afraid that if I do something they don't like they will take away the college money :(
Ok, so how about the guy coming to visit me first? Does that sound like a better idea?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't want to be a hypocrite , but no I wouldn't let her go. I would want to meet the guy first, after a period of time of talking with the guy, then I would possibly give her the green light. Also I know it makes me sound sexist but when you have a daughter, as a father you have to be more protective of her. Not saying she can't handle herself or anything, just its a lot more dangerous things can happen to woman. My daughter would be very important to me, I could never let something happened to my princess. In a way, the world itself is sexist, They would target a woman more over a guy. =( its a scary world out there, and I couldn't live with myself knowing something happened to her.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Has the guy contacted your parents? Have they spoken with him or will this all be a complete shock?

    I would recommend him coming here and staying in a hotel.

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    • Oh, and my daughter's 9 and you're preparing me for this situation, so thanks! :D

    • They've never met him, they just know he exists.

    • Your parents should be your guides in this. Do you trust them? Just be patient and let this situation unfold naturally.

      Definitely have them converse with him often, well before he plans to visit. But, don't have him come until your parents approve of it.

  • If I had a 20 year old daughter, it'd break the time space continuum, so presumably I'd have bigger issues.

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  • yeah if my daughter was 20 I wouldn't have a whole lot of say on what she can and cannot do, assuming she's out of my damn house and has her own car and gas money etc.

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    • convince them that he's a good person and legit. Get him to meet you half-way

    • yes that sounds like a better idea so that you aren't spending your parents money

    • Oh, if I was to visit him I would spend my own money. I have a job, and money saved, but they are just covering a large majority of my schooling. They don't pay for personal expenses or anything.

  • She's 20 years old. It's not my choice unless she lives with me still. I'd rather him come to the US and you get a hotel in the area or something.

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  • Tell her to tell him to come here and find a place to stay

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  • Wow,that's definitely a no for me. Even though the guy may not be a 40 year old pedo doesn't mean he can't slip you some roofies and rape you or still your kidney's or some crazy sh*t. I don't know I would be really skeptical.

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    • *steal

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    • I know, thanks for the advice :)

    • Yep,no problem.

  • I would let her, but I would also let her know that she is not welcome back in my house ever again

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    • Well, that's extremely harsh :S

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    • doesn't matter to me, if she wants to do it then she is an adult and no longer my problem

    • Toootaly disagre with the answerer, your the parent and its your child, guide them throught any trouble they have, its your duty. No matter what.

What Girls Said 23

  • If she's 20, she's an adult. I don't get to "let" or "not let" her do things. But I would discourage her from doing it. It's one thing to meet someone online in person, but it's another thing to leave the country to see them and stay with them for a week.

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    • I agree. It's staying there for a week that concerns me. Can't he come meet up with you where you are for like a day or something first?

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    • I would think it would be even more awkward to be a 20 year old girl travelling to a different country and staying with a guy you've never met...

      If it were me and I was very keen on meeting this guy, I'd ask him to come to the city where I live, stay in a hotel, and then spend the time he's down doing things in public places (rather than just going back to his hotel room).

    • Ok, thank you for the advice :)

  • yeah if I wanted her to die, no jk, tell him to meet you not the other way around, he could still be a 20 year old wacko rapist satan worshiper who seems nice enough, do you know how he looks? skype?

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    • Buttt I already said I know for sure he's not some weirdo lol. But I do like the idea of him coming here first, to put my parents at ease.

  • If she's 20 then she's legally adult. You don't "let" her do anything. But I would definitely tell her to make sure she knows what she's getting into. Make sure you meet in a public place. Yes you may have known him for 2 years online, but people can be very fake online. I knew my ex online for like 4 years before we got together. And how he was in reality was nothing like he was online. He turned out to be manipulative, emotionally abusive, and very angry. Of course that doesn't mean this guy will turn out the same way. But know that it's possible.

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  • Be very careful if you do meet him anywhere. Just because you have chatted with him doesn't mean you know him. You don't. You haven't met him yet. Please remember this at all costs. You do not want to be the next face on the news just because you "feel" he is a nice guy & you couldn't possibly be wrong about him. All of those other missing persons probably said the same thing. I don't mean to scare you, but yes I do. lol I just want you to be safe. We women must stick together.

    If you go to Canada, you are on your own & that's not safe at all. Even here you could be at risk, but you are much safer with your family around. Talk to them & be open & honest. They need to trust you & can be of help.

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  • Hopefully I would not raise a fool who would put her safety at risk like that. No I would not let her.

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  • I mean, if you're 20, you don't technically need your mom's permission, but I don't think as a mother, or anyone else, I would see that as a good idea.

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  • If you were my daughter, I know that this wouldn't be an issue.

    That said, I have friends that this actually came up. Their solution was to have the fellow come to their home & visit, and stay with them. That way, the kids got to visit, spend time together, but the folks got to supervise & make sure he was OK & got to know him too. It worked out well.

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  • I think that if I were a parent, I would hate the idea, but you are 20 years old.

    So I can understand their point of view.

    To make them feel better, I would get him to come visit me. If he insists on you coming to him and staying there alone, maybe you should ask yourself what it is he wants from you.

    If he really wants to spend time with you and care for you, where you are shouldn't matter

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  • no ..i wouldn't be OK with that. Why don't you let the guy come see you in your country?

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  • No, to be honest I would not allow her to do that if she was still living in my house and I was paying for her college.

    Personally, I would never go stay with someone I had never met before, let alone in another country. If something happens like it doesn't work out or you guys get in a fight, you're at his mercy in a foreign place...scary. I wouldn't take that risk.

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    • Meh...I've known him for 2 years though, he's not a stranger.

  • Well, I wouldn't want her to do it and I'd advise her against it, but since she is over 18 and is legally an adult it's her choice.. I would hope that she wouldn't because it is completely unsafe... I'd feel better if they had lunch or something somewhere really public and then after that a couple times maybe..

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  • ... I wouldn't care its not like you're underage ...

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  • Hell no I wouldn't lol, do you even realize how scary that sounds? I'm scared for my daughter to grow up because things like that.

    i doubt your parents would quit payin for your schooling they want the best for you

    girl you can know someone your entire life and them screw you over you should really be careful with that man

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  • I'd advise her not to and give all the reasons why I think so, but in the end, it's her decision and she's a legal adult, so I can't do much to stop her.

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    • @ update: Yeah, I would say the guy coming to visit you with your parents around would be a much better idea.

  • Did you end up meeting this guy?

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  • Have you met him in person?

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    • No, not yet, I wish :/

    • Then no. You say you know him, but you have never seen him, and you want to stay with him for a week in another country, I don't think so. You have no idea what his intentions are, and plus you will be in another country by yourself. I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but don't be naive, this is how people end up missing.

      If I had a daughter that was 20, I would not let her stay with a guy that she nor I has ever met with in person, and me being 20, I wouldn't never do anything like that

  • hell no!

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    • @ update, then go, you didn't say before that it was a 2 year friendship, good luck :)

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    • I agree, thanks for the advice :)

    • awwww, no prob :)

  • Well.. if I was 20 and I really wanted to do that,

    No one could really stop me.

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  • No. Not if she still lived in my home, and I paid for her living expenses, college, etc.

    No.

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  • no. I would like to meet him first and I would like to make sure they are going to be getting married before they spend that week together.

    I mean... seriously if she is still living in my household I will hear of her bad reputation forever. If she is living on her own, then she takes her own risks. If she is like 10000 miles away from me, then whatever she does will not come back to me instantly so she can be on her own.

    but if she is under my roof she does everything I tell her to do, or else I kick her out.

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    • Why would you force marriage on your children like that o_O

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    • Um, I know people who were raised in religious households like the one you plan to have, and they still turned out to be athiests. I don't think it's ever a good idea to force your own beliefs on a child..it's better to let them think for themselves. But okk..I suppose do whatever you think is best :S

    • I know, my sister and I are complete opposites. She has basically no morals and no respect for people. I do. We grew up in the same family. that's why I'm thinking of not having kids. Having kids and having them turn out not the way I want is too devestatting for me. so no kids is better.

  • you're 20. y ou're old enough to do what you want without asking mommy and daddy. 20 is old enough to have developed some common sense.

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  • I would NOT approve, but she would be legal and could do what ever she wants, even if I say no she is still going to do whatever she pleases.

    Like I know this girl who met this guy online, let's say about 7 months ago. They have never met in person and they live in the same state. It's a internet/text relationship and she is already madly in love with him. He doesn't work, he is 10 year older than her, he has dumped her twice and she begs him to take her back saying he is the love of her life and blah blah all that BS.

    So I'm like wow, I guess internet romance is the new generation.

    But good luck to you, at least you have known this guy for 2 years. Let's see how this turns out.

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  • Um it depends. I'm 21 and there isn't much my parents could do to stop me. I'm not a child. However, I'm also not dumb enough to do that, at least not alone. One of my friends was dating a guy online and he was from Canada and she went to visit him and her mother came with her and they stayed at a hotel. I would STRONGLY encourage my daughter to have him come to our city instead, not meet him at all, or I would go with her if she was determined to go. Going with friends would be acceptable as well in theory but idk. Hopefully, my daughter would be smarter than that, and she probably will be, knowing how I am.

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