To text or not to text?

I've been on and off with this girl. By that I mean we talk, sometimes we dont. Mostly through text.

She has told me numerous times that she misses me and wants to hang out.

Well...Me being the guy, I figured I was the one to set things up for us getting together. Girls like a guy who knows what he wants and what to do, someone who takes initiative, right?

Anyways, I was supposed to meet her for lunch on Tuesday. Well that fell thru, not really a surprise to me. Why you ask? Well there have been previous incidents where she'll tell me she wants to meet up sometime during the week or weekend, well my last idea - going to a theme park with friends didn't work out because she doesn't liek theme parks...ok whatever. Next she tells me she wants to meet up for coffee sometime soon, so again I take the initative and tell her "ok lets meet here and we'll catch up"...that night she didn't respond to my text, all I did was say "are you still on for tonight". According to her she fell asleep and woke up pretty late. PSH whatever...

After her not meeting up with me for lunch this Tuesday, I was pissed about it, more so upset - as I would be with ANY friend. She picked up when I called and said that her friend was on her way over and that she would call me in a hour or so. I had plans later that evening. Well after about 2 hours of not texting I asked if her friend was OK, come to find out, like I said according to her, her friend was pretty upset and crying because she got into a fight with her father. OK whatever, maybe its true, maybe its not. I was pretty upset tho, that I didn't get a call to tell me, or a text, nothing. I had to find out myself. So she asked if I wanted to meet out later for drinks and I asked where? She said Anywhere...Well by this point I was done playing games, I just didn't respond.

Later that night I got a text telling me "im at this bar, come see me!" ... I wasn't in the mood to go out but I wanted her to kjnow I recieve dthe text and wasn't sleeping or anything so I lied and said "thats so weird, I was just there"...she responded quickly and said "come back pleaseeee"...i didn t respond, she then said about 15 min later "come see meeee"...again I didn't respond,. Now you're probably again asking yourself wtf why didn't he respond, theyve been trying to meet up and this was his opportunity. Well here is why, I didn't want to have myself wrapped around her finger, I didn't want to do something just because it was convienant for her. Afterall I had made attempts before and somehow some crap alwasy got int eh way, I felt almost taken advantage of (I guess?).

So what do I do? Do I text her this weekend and attempt another meet up, do I let this weekend go by and wait till next? Do I just say screw it all together? I don't want to continue this spree of trying to set something up and then have sh*t fall through the cracks...I get that she's busy, as I am too. It jsut seems every time it comes down to it, nothing ever happens...

What do I do?

Updates:
I just don't want to come across as clingy or desperate or needy, maybe you haven't figured out by now but I ahve a crush on her. I'm not necessarily trying to take her out on a date. I'm just trying to go out and have some fun and to get to know her better...Ideas on how to get something to work!? lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Forgive me.. but to be honest she is not interested. she is blowing you off by giving excuses because she doesn't want to me mean and hurt your feelings. If she's too "busy" to text or always has a crisis then she's not interested

    and the bar.. she was drunk.. having a good time girls like attention when they are out if she wasn't getting it she figured she get a hold of you .. there is only one reason she acts different when she is sober.. she is not interested

    I'm going through the same thing with a guy he told me he missed me wanted to see me. and we made plans for the following night and I text him and he never replied and he has not called me since..

    It happens toguys and girls but usually if you have to wonder.. then its not going to work out

    if you like this girl and you think maybe you haven't been clear enough then be upfront and honest girls like it. be bold but only do so ONCE

    Tell her I like you I want to hangout more and get to know you

    see how she responds if she's not feeling it or ignores you then move on .. if you ask again you will seem pathetic

    I hope this helps :)

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    • i told her to be honest with me...that if she didn't want to hang out then to just tell me...why would she tell me she does want to hang out then? I guess that's why I'm confused...

      i also like how you said "girls like attention when they are out if she wasn't getting it she figured she get a hold of you" ...i NEVER thought of that...

      its just confusing when I tell someone to be honest, yet they insist they want to see me...shes kissed me b4 when we were out...oh and I left a HUGE part out..

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    • hmm.. the boyfriend thing is a problem. If she has been with him for awhile.. she's probably comfortable and doesn't want to be alone.. he's a guarantee. most girls don't like being alone so she is definitely keeping her options open.

      Maybe she needs some time to decide what she wants. try ignoring her? and if she likes you she will wonder why she hasn't heard from you and she might try more

      I do not know but it doesn't seem like she loves her boyfriend that much if she has you on the

      side

    • thank you for your honest opinions...i appreciate it! :)

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