What does it mean when he says...

I was talking about button down shirts one day and how I'd like them to be more form fitting on me (work shirts). He is not my boyfriend but we've been on and off for years upon years.yet he will tell me how we are not a good couple because we don't get along and the odds of us ever getting back together are very slim. yet, .he will tell me how I should wear loser shirts. loser pants to work. "what's wrong with loser shirts and pants, why's it always gotta be tight"? what's the problem.is it a "i don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you" type deal? I just don't get it, and he knows how in love I am with him and how I'd do anything to get him back. please, any advise would help, I'm at a loss!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Basically, he's saying "i like you but not the total package you. I'm trying to date other people but meanwhile, I like the attention you give me so I play it safe by stringing you along."

    I've done it, and had it done to me. The fact that you've been on and off just says that when he gets lonely or you do, the two of you provide the affection that the other desires. Ugly Circle that you guys need to break unless the two of you can work out a F-buddy situation.

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    • Yea..unfortunately, that's what I'd thought.

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    • I'm not sure where I'm supposed to comment here but to the person who asked if I told him directly..oh yes, many times. he knows exactly how I feel and exactly how I've been waiting for him to open up to me and start a relationship again. for an update, he went on and on about how everything he touches turns to sh*t and he's not good for me or anyone and can't get his stuff together. sometimes I don't know if it's true what he feels or he's just saying it so I go away w/o him telling me to.

    • If he says he doesn't feel right for you, maybe you should take literally. Instead of trying to seduece him into loving you, tell him that when he gets his Shiet together to call you.

      Or

      What I think you will do is to continue to break down his wall brick by brick.

What Girls Said 1

  • That last statement is probably the biggest problem. How attracted are you to the guys that are so in love with you they would do absolutely anything? It puts off the vibe that they're desperate, that they need you and they don't have other options. Everyone wants to feel as if they're dating a "catch." He's probably not interested because he knows he could do absolutely anything and you'll still be there! I would back off and try dating other people to see how he responds. This approach obviously isn't working. The girl he falls for will be the girl that wants him but doesn't need him. Oh and p.s. if you like your pants/shirts, don't get looser ones just because he says so! He's no fashion designer. Wear what you want.

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    • The problem is I've dated others, in a relationship and all..for months..i can't seem to let this one go for anyone or anything. he'll just always have my heart. and after 5 years of trying to move on...i've realized this. so for the last 2 years, I've been saving myself for him.

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