Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and he still doesn't think he's good enough to be with me?

My boyfriend is so self conscious and he believes that he is not enough for me. I tell him so many times that he is the right one for me but he just thinks I'm being nice. I get really frustrated whit him because I don't know how I can make him believe me. And also. It seems like he is lost for words every time we go out on dates. And Speaking of dates! He doesn't plan them.I try to plan things with him but all he want to do is invite his friends. ? I asked him about this and his answer is:" I'm afraid of saying something stupid so I want someone there to catch my mistakes." I love his friends but I want some alone time with just me and him. Can somebody help me with this situation please. I'm going insane


Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh dear, this sounds incredibly annoying. Have you ever had physical intimacy or sex with him? Just checking because maybe something happened there that kinda undermined his ego.

    Try to think about the reason why he got into a relationship with him and let him know. Also, try to find out whether he has such low self esteem for other things or in his previous relationship. Maybe someone, especially his family/parents have encountered this previously and it'd be helpful to get some insights as to how to deal with it.

    Other than that, tell him that you wanna go when you want to and there's no discussion. Find out what makes him comfortable and do that with him. You have to give him his alone time with friends, but find a balance in it. All these will require a lot of patience. If it's still not improving and you aren't happy with the situation, this is going no where and it's time to leave. Hope this helps and feel free to type to me if you wanna talk more about it. Sorry to hear that you have to put up with this for a year :S Hopefully time will help him improve!

    • Forgot to add that only he can only help and change himself. There's only that much you can do. So don't beat yourself over it :) You've done fantastic in being so patient with him :)

    • We are sexually intimate. I just don't understand why things have to be this hard after a year of dating.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Psychologically, he doesn't believe you want him. He isn't convinced he is good enough for you. If you swallow for him during sex, he will realize that you are totally serious about him and want him, then he will relax and believe he is enough for you. Most woman wouldn't do that unless they really love a guy, this way he'll know you love him, and everything will workout well.

  • He probably finds you as marriage material...but does not feel like you think of him as it...age has a lot to do with it...and career choice as well...


What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him straightforward that you seriously want to spend time with him alone. There really isn't anything you can do because he has his own issues and insecurities that he needs to deal with. All you can do is remind him firmly and seriously what you believe or feel about him. There's not much you can do besides that.