Girls, is there a reason why you wouldn't date a guy that's in phenomenal shape?

***disclaimer*** This is NOT a question out of arrogance. I'm not a douchebag. :)

The reason I asked this ? is because I've heard girls say this type of guy puts a lot of focus and attention on being in shape, to a fault.

His eating habits are so restricted that going out to eat, or cooking with him, or anything that involves eating, is a hassle. He doesn't eat like "a normal person".

("Olive Garden? I'm not eating at that starch-factory"

"A burger joint? All that fried food and saturated fat is bad for my abs"

"Why do you always make your food so damn greasy? Don't you care about the work that I put in today?"

"I'm not eating anything @ this movie theater. Over-buttered popcorn, soda and candy are SO bad for you.")

He spends so much time working out and in the gym, that it literally consumes him. All he talks about and discusses is working out, nutrition and his athletic ability.

I know not ALL guys in phenomenal shape are like this, but I'll ask:

When a guy that looks like he's in excellent shape, asks you out, and you start dating him, do these presumptions stick in your head at all?

Both genders may feel free to chime in. No flaming, please. :)

Updates:
I must note...that I'm not talking about myself here (in my profile pic I'm the dude on the right).


I definitely am mobile, athletic and energetic for my size, but I'm not near "phenomenal shape" lol.


Continue on with the discussion, please. :)
Here is another probing, eye-opening question for all of you wonderful users to give your input on.


Thanks for clicking and responding. :)


link

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Most Helpful Girl

  • One of my friends told me one of her guy friends who is in absolutely amazing shape thought I was cute and when asked if I would ever go out with him I told her no. First of all he was just a little too much for me, moving around too much, talking too much, and he just seemed to be an endless source of completely useless information. And he was taking the fitness thing to a whole other level, he only drank water and was constantly talking about staying hydrated and then told me all the reasons soda was bad for me and why I should only drink water. And every time I saw him the only thing he could talk about was working out and iron man competitions and mountain climbing and biking. I asked my friend if she wanted to go to a Phillies game with me and some other friend and this guy proceeds to tell me that the Phillies and anyone else who plays professional sports (no matter what that sport was) aren't really athletes because they couldn't compete in an iron man competition or a triathlon.

    I know most guys who are in shape aren't like this and most guys I know who are in shape aren't like this at all. I'm attracted to guys who are muscular and in shape and take care of themselves but when it's gone past something you do to stay healthy and in shape and turns into an obsession I can't deal with it.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Nah, I don't really think about those stereotypes at all. I don't mind him being a healthy eater, because my past boyfriends would always eat extremely unhealthy and I would end up eating along with them...which would be terrible for me haha.

    However, if all he talks about IS working out and being in the gym, I'll definitely be thinking, "Wow, this guy is such a stereotype."

    If he's a good guy though, and there IS more to his life than working out and being healthy, then obviously I would like him.(:

    I'm not being shallow, but most girls can agree with me that a guy that's fit is better than one that's not.

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    • Your last sentence in your answer is something that I 100% agree on you with.

      Most girls on this site, will say "it doesn't matter"...but any guy would be more attractive if he's in better shape.

  • Well USUALLY they are very arrogant and we don't want to feel like we have to live up to all your standards. Such as "I can't believe your eating that it's going to make you fat with all those carbs and sugar"

    If we're gonna date, you take me as is and don't try to change me, same goes vice versa (should be anyway)

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  • No I wouldn't really want to date an extremely fit guy. I'm pretty skinny but I LOVE food. I cook all the time and I barely finish anything I start eating so I'm used to my boyfriends finishing for me. An overly fit guy wouldn't do that, or let me cook my fattening italian dishes for him lol plus I wouldn't want a guy that was that stressed about his looks. Isn't that a girls job?

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  • I wouldn't date someone like this at all. I respect the fact that he has a very healthy lifestyle and working out is important to him. However, I prefer someone who's life encompasses more than just working out. I like to see diversification in hobbies and goals because it keeps things fresh. In addition, I think a guy like this would clearly be out of my league. I would have to wonder why he is dating me and not someone else.

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    • "A guy like this would clearly be out of my league"...says the high powered executive lol

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    • WHy would you say that, can't a good looking guy find you equally if not more attractive than himself?

    • @ Drake- I'm sure what you're saying is possible. However, it has been my experience that a guy who fits that particular mold has a specific girl in mind for himself. He is probably used to a lot of female attention, he can have any girl he wants and has no problems landing a female. Therefore, it's hard for me to see how he would have a genuine interest in an average female like me.

  • Its nice that he thinks about what he eats and isn't going to have a heart attack in the mcdonalds drive thru. I think about it but I still eat it every now and then

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    • I have to agree with you; imo it's all about balance. I'm nobody's "fitness guru", but I'm simply very conscious about what I'm eating.

      What I'm saying is...when I'm eating crap food (aka food with very minimal nutritional value), I know it. I'm not gonna scold someone I'm with for drinking a Slurpee or eating a pretzel. In fact I may go to Dairy Queen right now. :)

      P.S. please read the update, littlered. :)

  • god that would drive me up the wall ! I mean it , life is about living and having those extra treats when you are out or celebrating are what makes life. I don't want a guy who cries because he ate a small piece of ice cream haahha I enjoy the late night snack ... I'm not fat , but I'm not going to be miserable with some self righteous jerk , if you want to be fit that's fine with me , but being too much of a healthfreak is a turn off for me , because I love food. id rather date a fat guy who doesn't care what people think because he's a little pulp, so what ? I'm a uk size 10 , I eat chocolate - and I'm happy. is that such a crime ?

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  • a guy in shape is attract ibe. a guy who spends the whole time talking about himself being in shape is annoying,.

    i don't care about t he eating out thing. I don't eat out and I don't eat on dates. so win win if he's a health guy. but talking about his body or training program lor food too much is too--well id rather talk about important things.

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    • Just curious...

      ...you don't eat on dates? Why not?

    • (please read below)

    • i don't like eating out period & I generally don't use food as a social function. it has a purpose. to keep me healthy , thinking, moving-- alive. not to win friends & influence people.

      anyways, I don't really date. but if I'm hanging out with someone I want to get to know, id rather do things that require more of my body than my mouth. that was not at all meant as a sexual innuendo. I simply don't like being sedentary.

      Also, I don't have conventional food preferences... so its just a hassle.

  • I would love a guy who took care of his body, ate healthy foods, and well did the same crazy things I do. I get the same things from guys who date me. They see a person who works out regularly, who eats very healthy, and who takes very good care of her body. I don't know if it intimidates men or not, but I wish it wouldn't. I guess we just need to find other people just like us. Unfortunately there aren't as many people who are like us that exist. But don't stop being who you are.

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  • its fine if there like that, but it gets annoying if the guy doesn't sometimes eat badly or less healthy then he's used to.

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    • Can you expand on your answer, please? :)

    • what I mean is, I like too eat super healthy too, but I sometimes like to eat junk. and what I mean is, if the person never loosens his hold on his eating habits occasionally, It would get really annoying, and it would make me insecure, the comparision between us would make me feel as if I were eating like a pig or something

    • I don't know this was a while ago, but I guess what I mean is, that most people that are like that, are annoying to be around, because they can't loosen up. also, someone who is that obssessed(cant spell that :P ) with their body, shows a lack of personality... as in, there shallow and only thinking about there looks and not anything else.

  • Only real women can handle you. ;)

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    • I wasn't talking about me in this ? (read the disclaimer at the top of the ?). I'm probably a 6 on a 1-10 "health nut" scale, simply because there is no food that I will absolutely refuse to eat, and I'm more focused on health than "looking good".

      Thank for the ego-boost, Megan. ;-)

    • Show All
    • Who had the NERVE to down-vote my ego-boost?

    • I think I have a troll. Someone hates me, it's not you. :) You're still handsome. :)

  • If he's not arrogant, he's probably really uptight. I'd rather date a guy a little more relaxed and looking to have some fun.

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  • Well, it's just a personality trait. Not all guys who work out are like that but the ones who are are a turn off

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  • I would, probably because I'm kinda a health freak myself.

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  • I'm like 50 pounds overweight, he wouldn't want to date ME! lol. I'd feel like he was judging me and thought he could do better and probably using me. I'd probably date a guy like this if he asked me out but I'd be pretty on guard towards him

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  • The example quotes you gave are more of a personality thing in my opinion; from my experience a guy can have a six pack but will still eat Ben & Jerry's with me and all of that. So, I hadn't really "discriminated" against in-shape guys because of particular eating habits, gym schedules, etc. and never had those presumptions.

    What does kind of turn me off, though, is that I'm not that toned, so I feel really self conscious when my boyfriend doesn't have any noticeable body fat while I do. I am still very thin but naturally so, so I'm small but soft. It's not his fault I feel that way and he doesn't know, but it's something that starts to bother me when we're fooling around.

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  • It's no fun eating with you for one thing. That's a turn off right there

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  • I personally don't go for guys that are insanely muscular (nice to look at, but that's pretty much it), so I'm partial. I enjoy the gym as much as the next workout buff, but extreme working out/lifting and diet restrictions do make me wonder. My ex was really into restricting his diet and frequenting the gym often, and it didn't really click with me. He always seemed like he could never really "let go" and have fun. Again, I'm biased lol. Hope that helped! : )

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    • I never understood how women say that they like to see muscular men, but could never be with such a person. Anyways, many men that workout do it mostly for themselves. It makes us feel good to look at ourselves in the mirror with well definied muscles.

    • By all means, if you do it for yourself, then keep on keepin' on, but I personally couldn't be with someone with a chiseled body. Nice to look at, but I prefer hugging something a little more cuddly and a little less...well, like a rock. Kind of the same principle behind hot women. Girls with fake boobs look better than bee stings (sadly), but feel like the hard implants they are. Not very functional, if you get my drift lol

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm a gym freak, but you have to know your limits. If you're that stubborn about watching your weight or how cut you are, then know that women will be drove up the wall and turned off by your obsession. Trust me, girls don't like it. If you want to stay that way just don't mention it in front of people and don't talk about the gym and about how you have to go eat your next meal. KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF. That's what I do and girls love me for it.

    I used to be one of those hard core muscle heads and it's all I cared about...people specifically girls will get disinterested in someone who only talks about himself and only cares for himself. I learned to just go to the gym, get in get out, take by protein shakes and eat what I needed to without making it a big deal. And dude, for goodness sake, it's okay to have cheat meals.

    Don't make your fitness life an obsession, just a side activity that you enjoy.

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  • I agree with you man. Why is that a bad thing? The fact that a dude works hard to keep himself in shape showcases a little bit of his personality doesn't it? It shows he's motivated, determined and willing to go through an extreme amount of exhaustion to remain in great shape. I work out daily in the gym and it is not a walk in the park like some people might think. Some exercises are so exhausting it makes you just want to quit and walk out the door and hit up the closest McDonalds possible. People need to realize how hard it is sometimes.

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    • Absolutely. Working out every day AND eating extremely well (as in low-processed, crop-filled, protein-without-excess-fat diet) is definitely NOT easy. I'll be frank, the nutrition I will do, but I personally don't feel the need to be THAT intense on the fitness.

      But for the people that do, it takes so much focus and will-power that your efforts ultimately become engrained in your mentality. Power to you for the fitness; I'm not willing to do all that.

    • Why do you feel the need to work out every day, out of curiosity? Don't most health professionals recommend every other day? Seems excessive given that's 1.5 hours every day gone.

    • Who says I do? I'm active everyday, doesn't mean I work out. The last time I worked out was 2 days ago. I didn't work out so I went biking instead. I need to be active I'm not a lazy bum.

  • I really think that's the last thing on a girls mind when she sees a guy in really good shape.

    Do you really think a girl's gonna see you and immediately think, "I bet that guy has such a strict diet that he's no fun to eat out with.." or "I bet all that guy talks about is the gym.."

    Not a chance, dude. It would be a waste of time to imagine what every single attractive person you see is like.

    Get rid of those limiting beliefs.

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  • well for me I learned my lesson. I should only go out with health freaks. My ex tried to but it wasn't her. She is now with a new guy who eats junk food and drinks beer. She is starting to gain weight very fast but mabey she is happier. Who knows

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    • I disagree with you that you should only go out with health freaks because that wouldn't solve your problem. Some health freaks have very twisted view on what is right on being healthy, and both of you may have different goals as to how to be healthy. But nonetheless whether my point is valid, you should go out with a girl who takes care of herself and can live with how you lifestyle :) (It doesn't take a health freak to be able to handle your lifestyle and be part of it :))

    • agree...im just not into junkfood...you can eat out but you can eat smart

  • you could still have arranged "cheat meals" once in a week you kno ?

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