Ok so I have always been in relationships so I am new to the dating scene. I started dating a guy about a month ago and he would say things like he couldn't sleep because he wanted me cuddling with him, and would always say he was thinking about me, etc. Things were going great but then I found out a week ago he had kissed someone else and was talking to her too. I got upset about this and told him he could of at least been honest with me that he didn't want to see me anymore. Now, we never discussed exclusive so I guess it was my mistake for assuming we weren't dating others, but is this normal? In the dating world is it expected/normal to date multiple people? For me it would feel like cheating, so it would be hard for me to do, but like I said I am new to this so I need advise.
My friend told me he did like me and still wanted to date me but he had just gotten out of a 15 year relationship and wanted to just date and wasn't ready for a relationship. I wish I could go back and not get so upset, since I was the one who assumed we were exclusive, but sharing a guy just seems a little off to me. I guess my real question is, is it usual to date more than one person at a time when you are dating nowadays?
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My understanding is that until monogamy is explicitly brought into the picture, you are still technically single and you can date other people. It might be that because you're so used to relationships, you've forgotten what dating is for--figuring out if you want a relationship with the other person in the first place!
I think sometimes, as women, when men say, Oh, I'm not ready for commitment, we hear, Oh, I'm not ready to commit to YOU, but that just isn't true! I'm sure you're great and he'd be lucky to have you. My experience has just been that men commit a LOT slower than we do. Obviously there are exceptions, but this sounds like a typical case where you met a great guy, clicked, knew he was relationship material, but he simply didn't make the same leap as you did. It's a time frame thing. I think he probably DID get out of a long relationship, DOES want to meet new women, and WILL settle down, but he doesn't want to feel like he's trapped in more of the old destructive thing.
Now, of course, there are no "rules" in dating or relationships, so if you really REALLY hate this, simply--don't date him. If it feels like cheating, well, your standards are your standards. Men don't have to share them, but you'd probably be happier with one who did, and there are definitely men who do.
The answer, if you still want him, is to give it time. Don't push for a relationship--you've been in them for a long time, right? So why not enjoy being single for a change? And hey, haven't you ever heard that what's good for the goose is good for the gander? :D0