Why do HS girls go after guys because of their looks... not personality?

Alright so here's the thing, majority of girls probably 90% of girls in my HS go after my best friend named Doug. he might be cute I guess but like he's my best friend and all and he has to be the biggest asshole to every girl he talks to. From 9th graders to seniors he just plain out lets you know if your not good looking, he will even embarase you right on the spot. Girls in 9th grade tend to go up to him and go hey my name is ____ remember me alright Doug! and I just stand there like wtf. He has cheated on all his girl friends, he tells girls straight up that they are too ugly for him and I treats them like their his bitch sometimes from making them hold his bag or hold his trash.

Like why would they all flock towards him while on the other hand I help out everyone who asks for help, I never cheated on a girl and I don't use others.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know, the same question can be asked about high school boys. (Most of them anyways.) It's the pretty, skinny, ditzy, and generally 'bitchy' girls who get tend to get all of the male attention. Meanwhile, the girls who don’t fit into this category seem to be ignored. Nearly all of the guys my age are looking to land the 'sexiest' girl they can, regardless of their personality and other important, non-superficial qualities. I have gorgeous friends who would never hesitate to rudely reject guys or ‘talk shit’ behind anyone’s back. These are the same girls that the guys swoon over. So this is definitely a gender-mutual circumstance.

    I absolutely feel your pain and share your confusion. So why is it like this? As I'm sure many other people who have responded to this question have mentioned, it's more than likely a matter of immaturity and naivety. I think it’s as simple as that. And it’s quite unfortunate that it is like this because it leaves people to question whether or not they are desirable to the opposite gender. I believe it’s safe to conclude that high school can’t be treated as a measure of how you’ll be received by people in life beyond high school.

    One thing I don’t really understand either is while girls gravitate towards the assholes (like the friend you mentioned) and why guys go for bitches. The only somewhat logical explanation I can deduce is that they desire a reaction/attention from the opposite gender, whether it is negative or positive. But overall, I think it’s just sheer childish stupidity that they would want to go after someone like that haha.

    Personally, I cling to the hope that there are boys out there who have more to offer than looks. Hopefully these same guys are interested in finding the same thing. I usually go for the best friend of the assholes, because they’re usually the keepers. If only more people could realize that…

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What Girls Said 12

  • yeah I hate guys who are so full of themselves like that.

    I guess it's because

    those girls are only after him because

    of his looks and

    that's about it

    and they probably aren't mature enough to know

    that there are better guys out there

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  • It's because most girls in HS are superficial. They don't know better yet so they always go for the cute guys and stick around, well because he looks good and every girl wants to be with him. I'm still in highschool, and I'm not going to lie, I approach and pay more attention to the cuter guys AT FIRST. If they turn out to be mean or just plain ass holes, I don't stick around because I respect myself and I know that I deserve better. That's just me though. Other girls might be the total opposite. Just remember that not EVERY girl in HS is like that. For now, your just going to have to bite your tongue and I guess just watch it happen because once you graduate and enter the real world, the tables are going to turn and those good looking ass holes are going to be left alone because no woman is going to put up with that bullshit and immaturity.

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  • totally stereotyping, man. You're paying attention to the wrong girls.

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    • Well honestly its like every girl that ever wants to date a guy or has dated a guy. I'm eliminating the people who haven't had a boyfriend yet because if its senior year and you haven't kissed a guy in our school your unfortuanetly not even included in anything.

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    • "if its senior year and you haven't kissed a guy in our school your unfortuanetly not even included in anything."

      This is the wrong attitude to have man. Just because someone's never had a boyfriend does not mean that they aren't worth being with. Maybe they're just shy and haven't found someone to like yet. It's also very possible that one of those girls that you've ruled out solely based on them never having had a boyfriend has a crush on you and you two could be happy together. Give it a try.

    • Thats why I said my school... because there are only a select few that haven't had a bf... its not like a school in the suburbs where there are 3000 kids... there's 340...

  • lol here are my conclusion.

    young gal age 11-17?(around)- see guys by their looks

    young adults age 18-25(around)-see personalities or feelings

    more adult age 25(above)- mostly will see money

    lol that's my conclusion that I have seen in my life lol, I don't know whether it is true but that's what I see

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  • Wow.. I don't know why girls do that.. I sure don't though.. To me its more like personality and then looks. but like one girl said.. you are really cute.. but then that other girl said that the same question could be ask the other way around.. like that's the only reason guys want to go out the slutty girls becuase usually they are the "hot one"

    but your friend is a jerk and you are really cute but I'm not judging you on that..

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  • Because that's all younger girls care about. When you're young it's not about finding the perfect man, it's about having fun until you do.

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    • So your saying getting cheated on and knowing it will happen is fine?

    • Most young girls don't think that could happen to them, and some don't even care...they might just want sex or something like that....like she said maybe they just want fun?

    • When you're in kindergarten and someone pushed you down what do your parents tell you? They say, "It's because he likes you." Women are taught from day one that when a man is an ass hole he likes you. It's been instilled in our heads since birth. That's why most women deal with it.

  • Because they are shallow and seek approval from hot guys and their friends. The same reason why guys in high school go after girls because of their looks and not personality. Not everyone in high school is like that, but you will have to sift through the extremely insecure ones to find someone who actually cares about personality and how a guy treats them. It gets better after high school.

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  • Well, that's just how high school is.

    Perhaps it is because these jerks or bitches come off as confident because they aren't afraid to express their thoughts. These people are usually very good looking so the girl or guy is thinking, "If I could win their approval, because they aren't nice to everyone, that would make me special."

    Was that understandable?

    I think that's a good way to analyze it.

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    • Yes but do they realize that they only have 1 reason to be with you and that's for looks... they would cheat on you and the girl still wouldn't care?

  • maybe there's a little tension between you two at the moment and you need t things out just an observation from me, girls at that age are mainly focused on one thing and that's looks an popularity and since he's been around and he's described as cute they are gonna go for him. soon enough they are gonna see through it I guess. shame there's not more people in high school that are nice and kind enough like you. don't worry to much about it everything will work it's self out in the end :)

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  • cus that's what life is. a cheap rat race based on appearance.

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  • I think your hott and your friend is an asshole.

    Sometimes girls go for the mean bitchy guys over the nice good guys. I don't know why.

    If the majority of the girls are going for your friend then it may be because when one person wants someone it makes another one want them too and so girls may think he's a good catch if everyone wants him...does that make any sense? I hope so lol.

    I hate girls..and highschool.

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    • Lol thanks but why say that anonymously? you say a nice compliment and I can't even return the favor? haha = ) .

  • I actually agree with "thelittlethings." I'm a junior in highschool, and I tend to look for guys who are good-looking. But personality is important to me. I've never really met anyone who'd go after a guy who do hella shit. Feelings are not supposed to be messed around with. A cute guy with an ugly personality is a TURN-OFF. A cute guy who has an ugly personality is already ugly on both sides: inside & out.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Wait.when he embarases a chick in front of you about not being good looking enough for him, you just stand there and watch him do it? And when he "treats them like their his bitch" you don't say anything? Doesn't seem like you help them out to much. Next time he's embarasing a girl, say something and put him in his place. I don't get how youd be able to just stand quietly by while he damages some poor girls self estem. No wonder girls don't flock to you. Guilty by association.

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  • Dont worry man that will all change when you get to college. I had some girls like me in HS but not the ones I had crushes on, now that I'm in college my old crushes ( the ones I liked)suddenly wanna hang out and one of them actually has a crush on me too. Once High School ends the veil of judgement and superficialness ends for the most part and everyone gets a little more friendly and relaxed with each other. Just hang in there!

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  • Read your question again. They are high school girls: they are not mature. Yes, there are mature people who are still in high school, but just about everyone will change a ton during college and afterward.

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  • Know what? People are fairly shallow about what they find initially sexually attractive. Some people figure this out as they get older, most never do. Happily, you don't need to be attractive to everyone, just a few select people.

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  • It's HS. I don't know why but guys seemed to get nagged on if they choose to date not the more drop dead gorgeous girls in the school and I'm guessing its the same on the girls side of the fence. People are mature enough to actually see what things matter. If your living with someone would you rather life with a very good looking girl and a bitch OR a ok looking girl that you don't have to worry about when she is with your kids. or yourself.

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  • Because they are younger and only going by ascribed status.

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