Why are the guys usually expected to ask the girls out?

I have noticed that in most relationships the guy asked out the girl. Why is that? Do girls ever ask out guys?


0|0
3|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls seldomly ask guys out because... they don't have too.

    Simply put, asking anyone out is challenging for the ego because you may be rejected. Well, there's also that since social convention make it so that it is expected that the guy ask out the lady, it become harder for the lady to ask out: It bring an extra weird/awkward factor to the deal for them.

    And also, there is also the courtship ritual and how the power is divided in the process. The Lady get the power to say yes or no to the sex, while the guy usually get the power to say yes or love (and relationship).

    ... and since (in most relationship between sexually active adults) love can only happen AFTER sex, the lady have to play her card first and hope that the guy didn't only wanted sex (unless she's only after a sexual trip, but that's fairly uncommon). Because she have no certain way to know if you will stay after the morning or if you will leave for ever without giving anything back. And trust me, for what I've seen of my female friends, it really, really hurt them when the guy just wanted sex when they hoped for more.

    So to reduce the risk, they usually are cautious and go through the whole "dating process" to do their best to figure out what the guy have in his mind. Is he serious? Does he want a relationship or only sex? It's a major trust issues for them, because most guys who only wants sex will not be honnest about it (to not be refused).

    By making the guy take risks (at least for his ego), they can test how much he's interested (human beeing don't take risks for unimportant stuff usually).

    After saying so, almost all girls at some point of their life will ask a guy out. Some will do often, other only ounce. But it happens. Just don't count on it. Because self-confidence is the most attractive traits for a guy, so when a guy is beeing asked out by a lady, it's usually because he's already good and comfortable at asking girls out.

    0|1
    0|0
    • But, why do guys tolerate girls so long just to sleep with them? Why not just go get an easy girl?

    • What do you mean? Tolerating her so long? Where I live, the usual convention is to have sex togheter around the third date (so 2 or 3 weeks after initial meeting) more or so... it always depend of the situation, sometime the circumstances require to wait for the forth, sometime people are ready at the second date.

    • Usually it's something like: Meet the girl, have a coffee with her 2-3 days later. have a funny date with her next week-end, have a romantic date the other week-end and have sex at the end of the romantic date.

      And I don't see them as easy girls. After the third date I know if I could have a relationship with her or not. If sex is extremely poor, I could change my mind, but usually I don't.

      (and girl don't freak out, poor sex mean: we are not on the same beat, it doesn't involve skill)

What Girls Said 3

  • Haha yes I've asked guys out. I'm too impatient to play hard to get if there's someone I'm interested in. The guy always knows I like him because he never has to wait long until I ask him out. So far, this tactic has been rather unsuccessful! Boo! Hah...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Social convention, but some are not limited to it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm kinda shy...

    I'm more attracted to men who are able to get their fears out and ask a girl out. That means he's pretty courageous and stands for what he wants, which is what I lack sometimes...

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Dude, just like you are scared to talk to girls, you will find girls scared of dudes. Plus its not like girls have much practice with it. Who wants to be rejected? At least most of us guys have already dealt with some of those blows, so we know it ain't to bad. Just move on to the next girl.

    If you think about it we are lucky because we can choose who we want to go after. In most cases girls just wait for the guy to make the move which limits them to fewer people to pick from.

    1|0
    0|0
  • What Alice said.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cause its been like that for years. We're men so we have to do the manly things. I personally don't have a problem with it.

    0|0
    0|1
  • because they don't have to

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...