How can I stop being bittered towards women?

I have entered a dangerous phase in my life where I'm bittered towards women. I still find them sexually attractive, but there are times when I hate them. I use to classify myself as a nice guy. My mom raised me believing that if I was a nice guy then women would love me. So being a nice guy was my strategy for getting women. That strategy failed. While women did talk to me and considered me their friend, they always told me I wasn't their type. I soon became bittered towards women because I saw them giving other men opportunities except for me. I really don't want to be bitter because that will prevent me from ever getting a girlfriend and I don't want to be alone forever. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop being a nice guy. Start being a man.

    Women are _not_ attracted to yes-men without any backbone. You don't need to be a jerk, but right now you're a manipulative little liar. You admitted it! I bet you _are_ a nice guy, but you try to be EXTRA nice hoping that girls will like you. What your mom (and tons of other women) tell you is WRONG. They would like it if a guy they ALREADY found attractive was super nice and fell head over heels for them, but in general, a super sweet guy who is desperate for them is a turn OFF. Women like men who are independent, strong, self-reliant and not easily controlled. That man is there inside of you, but you're used to trying to be sweet, pleasant, asexual and inoffensive. Women do NOT want to have sex with a guy who seems like their servant.

    As long as you dwell in this fake reality that being nice is supposed to earn love, you'll be bitter that its not working. You need to actually be much more the REAL you and not worry about trying to please women. Somewhat surprisingly (for you), that's what they actually want in a man.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly, it's never that we like "bad boys" because they're a**holes. It's the fact that they're forward and take a chance (asking us out, kissing us WITHOUT asking) and seeing how it goes. The "nice guys" that I've been with, when I tried to have a conversation with them they'd agree with everything I was f***ing saying, which defeated the point of the conversation (I talk about politics, I want a heated debate and opinions voiced, and not just my own) needless to say, it didn't work out.

    And if it makes you feel better I hate men to no end.

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  • You can't really be bitter against the whole female population just because some women didn't want to date you. I understand that it's frustrating, but try not to let it get you down. And I think you should continue to be a nice guy, because if you became a jerk, you would only run into more problems. Nice guys are the best, no matter what! :) Dating in and of itself is just a big joke, the only person that matters is the one you will marry! Nobody else matters, especially the ones that turned you down.

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    • He's not angry that women didn't want to date him. He's probably more angry that women give such bad advice to young men. They describe how they'd like a man who they already find attractive to behave, which is entirely different from what is the more significant challenge for young men like the question asker - how to be _attractive_ to women.

  • dont worry I hate them too.

    *waits for the thumbs downs*

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What Guys Said 7

  • This may not work for you but have used this approach for MANY years:

    Every time I begin to have a hatred to women where I start thinking murder and rape, I save up a lot of money, travel to Canada and hire a top dollar escort. A few good hours of companionship(and I use the term loosely), all my animosity towards women run off like water under the bridge! A temporary solution, but it works.

    For long term solutions, I started looking at women from other countries. There is no law that states you must date/marry/screw women of your local town or ethnicity only. You can never tell where your love will come from. Could be chinese girl or Ukrainian hottie; that or the girl next door that you never noticed because you rejected any chance with her due to her 3-sizes. What you do not want to do is look everywhere, you may end up with an underaged girl or a relative.

    YUCK!

    Never give up. I am in my forties having a second go at college surrounded by cute teens. I once thought I was the only older student and ended up finding a number of pretty adult students and hot instructors!

    YAY!

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  • just don't be friends with girls then that don't want to date you you obviously want something from them and if they don't give it then move on its how lots of guys are I'm only friends with girls I won't date I can't be friends with girls I actually like

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  • IMHO what worked when mom told you that i.e being a nice girl you would get all the girls really does not hold true this day in age.. trust me I get in this stage a few times a year.. having never been on a date and 28 it sucks.

    At the worst part of it I will look at the women and can guess what she's going to say or thinks without doing anything and I don't bother trying or she will say those words I already had in my mind before she already spoke.

    I don't like being bitter myself but I still think it has to do a lot of the areas you are at Be it the west or east coast or whatever

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  • I just got to say that when I read this question I thouhgt for a minute that I had posted it. I have the same issue. Always the friend and I can't ever get girls to see me as more than that. So I just gave up. I got so tiered of girls talking about how the guys they are with are a**holes and treating me like a shoulder to cry on. The whole time I'm thinking in my head, "Hello! I want to date you and I'm a nice guy so why are you still with the a**holes." So I've just said f*** it. If girls want to be with a**holes, then let them be with a**holes.

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  • Well I would say, always try to be yourself, never try to be a "nice guy" unless you are, and then you will not have to try.. You have heard of women's intuition? they know the truth don't try to fool them because that makes you an a**hole, and they will never trust you!

    If you have a kind heart and mean and stand up for what you say they will know you are a "nice guy"..

    Let them know of the things you have in common, love of animals, hating dirtbags, etc..

    I have many physical problems and I know first hand there is the ONE out there for you that will emotionally rock your world. Woman hate posers so do not ever be that, again be who you are.

    Don't ever be forceful, woman will just get nervous around you, be chivalrous, stand up for them without staring sh*t. Let them know you are there for them because you love them as a friend and not only because you want more.. Because the end result is always them choosing you, you choosing them is only applicable if they choose you as well, and if they don't , never be bitter but thankful for their friendship because it will always make you stronger and more knowledgeable of the female physique, Thus giving you a better edge because you will know more about Women then the next guy. Never be abusive but only consoling and never let anyone treat them with disrespect, you must always respect all women.. This advice will not get you married but make Women want to be with you because you will be TRUSTWORTHY and that my friend is what Women not only want but need as do all men , without trust there is nothing!

    Do these things and you will find you will never be bitter, but enlightened at and about women.. This will help make you very popular with the ladies but only if it is real..

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  • Disregard wemenz, gain confidence

    basically, forget about women for a year or two, I know it's hard but don't pursue any for a good year or two

    in this year or two, work on yourself, inside and out, physically and mentally.. trust me it will work

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  • Listen to Tom Leykis go to YouTube now!

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