Are you a multi-dater or a one-at-a-time type?

My mom keeps bugging me and saying, "You should go out with all sorts of guys and have fun!"

But I just can't see myself going out on several first dates with random people all in the same relative period of time. I know I'm not the only one who can only focus on one potential date at a time...but how many are out there?

I'm not saying either way is good or bad...they just are. But which are you? Do you only date one person at a time until you know that they're either relationship material or not...or do you go out with lots of people until you happen upon one that lights the spark?

  • One At A Time!
    87% (134)86% (102)86% (236)Vote
  • Multiple People!
    13% (20)14% (17)14% (37)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm always a one person kind of girl, and it's not a conscious decision, it's just how I operate. I can't be happy in a non-monogamous relationship, seeing other people and threesomes are out of the question. When it comes to dating/getting to know each other, I can only focus on one person at a time because the way my mind works, I only LIKE one person at a time and don't really have eyes for anyone else. Even with casual [safe] sex, I only mess around with one person at a time, I don't switch back and forth between multiple partners. Once I start sleeping with a new person, I'm not sleeping with anyone else. The only exception I have to that is if I were to consider a threesome, which I could only do if the partners were casual. If there were feelings involved, I couldn't do it because I don't share, lol.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Date' for me matches courting. Courting is to create serious romantic long-term relationships with a partner.

    I would meet up with multiple women to be their friend, without letting romantic feelings get in the way, as I feel having both gender friends is important. I would clearly tell them that friendship is my only hope at that point, and make sure the woman believed me that there was no hidden agenda.

    Once I start to feel romantic feelings for a woman, it's time to reflect if they're worth pursuing long term exclusively. I would approach the woman, just as Joshua Harris approached his future wife, with clear expectations communicated up front as to what the relationship's purpose was.

    No games, just honest communication so neither she nor I get hurt due to inferred expectations.

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  • One person at a time. It avoids lots of bad drama. Do not listen to people who say, "It's fun" or "I do what I want" because that is just pure selfishness. One night stands are the exceptions but this is not what I would call dating.

    Take my advice, one person please

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  • Any girl worth my time is also worth my full and complete focus. One at a time for me. Plus, I don't have the ability to juggle multiple ones even if I wanted to.

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  • I used to be a one woman guy. I was also the good guy, the reliable guy, relationship material, and the guy that didn't cheat but then reality changed all that. I learned that a guy has to have some sort of back up just in case a girl is afraid of commitment and decides to leave. Putting all of my eggs in one basket didn't work, so I moved on from that. Most girls are never totally "exclusive" because there are always guys chasing them and waiting at a moments notice. To each their own.

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    • The numbers of my poll suggest otherwise so far. Maybe you need to start dating internet girls...oh wait.

      I forgot.

      <_<

      We don't exist here. XD (just yankin' your chain! Sorry =P)

    • not for me. you have just ran into the wrong girls! though, I am a woman ;)

      LOL. seriously though..those are the attention whores..IMO

    • I was just the one doing all the wrong things to get the girls. It's not about being a good man, it's about doing what works. I have learned and experienced that being the truthful good reliable faithful no drama guy doesn't get the job done. I was always given excuses and never told the truth on why I was being dumped (it's not you it's me). Most girls keep their options open but don't admit it. So never again will I ever just try to date only one girl.

  • It's too much of a headache to juggle multiple relationships. It's hard enough to try be the perfect person for 1 girl let alone more than one. Also, it's too expensive to have more than one girl.

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  • dating= monogamous

    not dating= multiple sex partners...

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  • One at a time. By the way, on your profile picture, the Martians from Sesame Street scared the living hell out of me as a little kid.

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  • I more of a three at a time. Works for me, women can be bad matches, and if you are going for a one at a time thing you are less likely to realize this and you might stay with them just because it is easier/want sex. If you have back up you won't really mind as much if one of them doesn't work out, you always have another to fall back on! When the moment comes and I feel a strong connection with a particular one though I break off the others and maintain a one girl deal.

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    • Good point you make there. Personally I'm very much a one-at-a-time kinda guy, but I have ended up being with someone and wondering if I'd be better with somone else or not. I think your style of having several on the go at once so you can compare and pick your favorite kind of makes sense!

  • one at a time. less likely to short change a girl(time/attention) and you don't have to dump a girl later if things go well.

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  • I'm a one-at-a-time guy by nature.

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  • one at a time cause if I get caught dating more than one chick the 2 or more girls would talk and it'd make things bad for me with other chicks

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  • since dating is just the process of getting to know someone, I see no reason to be exclusive unless that person won't date me unless I am exclusive with her.

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  • I prefer one at a time.

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  • yeah I'm a one-girl kinda guy

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  • I go out on 1st dates with all sorts of multiple people, but I don't get serious with any of them until its a one-at-a-time deal.

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  • One at a time

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  • If your dating exclusively then its one on one. Otherwise if you're lucky enough date as many people as you can.

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  • i do one at a time, but I haven't dated that many people anyways

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What Girls Said 19

  • I am a multi-dater. I like keeping my options open. I don't go out with every guy that ask me though. when I date multiple guys at once, I don't develop feelings too fast because I'm not just focus on one guy. but I usually know which one is like "the one" when he stands out from the rest & I enjoy being with him the most.

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  • 1 guy at a time. I date to find my soul mate & to have fun. But, I am not exactly in a rush to find him! lol. so I do not see the reason to date several at a time ;)

    Though, I want to find him...lol And, I don't know...I have morals..and one of them is staying true to one man. The man I love/like/lust...

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  • . . .

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  • I know right away if I like a guy and usually all others aren't even an option after that, so one at a time

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  • Sikoo31 has a point.

    I want to get to know people better to see who I can connect with the most, and that person is a person I get into a monogamous relationship with.

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  • Well if I'm significantly interested in one person then I'd just date that one person. But if there were a few guys who I was interested in and none of them really stood out from the crowd yet then I could (and have) date 2-3 at a time.

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    • But who cares what your mom or any of us says! Do whatever feels right to you. If you only want to date one at a time then don't change what works for you.

    • Here, here! =P

  • I'm a one-at-a-timer. I'll even go so far as to only flirt with one guy at a time lol

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  • Good question. When I first read it I giggled. :D

    I guess I am a one-at-a-time kind a girl. I prefer slow and steady. Think about it, the tortoise beat the hare.

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  • Definately one at a time.

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  • I just find it disrepectful to the guys. I am a one guy gal... XD

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  • Definitely one at a time, even if it's just first date kind of stuff. I like to only think about one person and concentrate on how he makes me feel. I think dating multiple people would confuse my feelings :P

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  • definatly one at a time

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  • One at a time for me :)

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  • Well , I never had dated before .

    But I prefer one date at a time.

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  • one at a time

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  • i'm a one man woman.

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  • If nothing is said about being exclusive then I assume we are not, so why not see if I can meet someone better. I am assuming he is too if we haven't discussed being exclusive.

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  • I date multiple people until I find someone I want to be a girlfriend to. "Dating" is just a chance to get to know someone new, not an arranged marriage.

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  • If I met a guy and he asked me out and I liked him I would probably only be able to focus on him even if we weren't official yet, like I would focus on him and hope our dates progress into a relationship and not look elsewhere until I know what's going on with him.

    On the other hand if they were internet dates or blind dates I would probably be okay with a few in a short period of time.

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