Can't seem to placate her mom for us to go out. Help!

First, the girl I'm interested in/dating is 10 years younger than me (her early 20s, me early 30s), and she still lives with her mother. I had a college class with her for five months, and we both "fell" for each other and managed to have two lunch dates. However, when I asked her out on an official date a month ago, her mom wouldn't let her go once she found out my age. She said that she'd have to meet me first because she thinks guys my age are only after one thing (but I agreed to the idea of meeting - I have nothing but good intentions with this girl). Anyway, nothing has happened so far, and she really hasn't budged on the matter. Because she had never spoken to me or met me, I wrote her a note just introducing myself, said that I understood her concerns, thought highly of her daughter, and would still be open to meeting her to answer any questions. The girl I'm seeing said that her mother was impressed by the letter but was still concerned about the age thing...and, again, still doesn't seem to want to make a move.

Is there any advice you can offer on how I can even get my foot in the door? I've offered meeting her, talking to her on the phone...everything. I know the girl I'm seeing is of legal age and can make her own decisions, but I also respect her mother and her enough not to sneak around behind her back (because that would definitely ruin any impression she may have). Anything I can do to possibly make her more comfortable with meeting me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, its the girls decision to see you, NOT her mom. if her mom has bad experiences with guys, that is her fault. if she likes you enough(the girl) she won't give a crap about what her mom thinks(unless she is like super catholic)

    but if you HAVE to get along with the mom, then my suggestion is be mature, understand her concerns and don't lie to her

    but again, you are in a relationship with the GIRL, not the mom

    ahh sorry for this weird lecture but I really dislike parents that get in to their children's business(especially after they are 18)

    cheers

    P.S. I hope you succeed with this woman

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    • Thanks. Her mom is just from a culture that is super strict about dating, and the girl hasn't had great experiences with some of the other guys she has dated, so her mom is really protective.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think it would be appropriate to grab some lunch or coffee with her mom, just she can meet you.

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    • Just with the mom, or should I invite both of them, you think?

    • just mom

What Guys Said 1

  • This girl's mother is in complete control of a lot more than just her dating life, trust me.

    It's a shame she wants to judge ALL older men (I'm 32).

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