Scared of scaring her off!

I feel like there are too many details to include all of (even though detail is good) but I'll try to hit the important points quickly.

I met her about seven months ago, but didn't make -any- move until May, when we went out for lunch (I don't think a real date). We went out for lunch again this weekend (again not a real date, I think). She's sort of ignored or been unenthusiastic about a couple of my texts this summer (I only sent a few, and she lives in another city when University is out). We see each other once or twice a week at church groups.

Basically, the feeling I'm getting is that she doesn't dislike me, but is hesitant to show interest in me. I don't want to come on too strong, because I don't want her to freak out and ruin my chances of actually dating her.

I figure its like fishing. It looks like I might have a nibble (can't be sure), and if I try to set the line (yank on it to hook the fish real good) its either going to set well, or just come flying out, and I'll have lost her.

She's very quiet and reserved, and I'm sort of outgoing in a group if I'm familiar with the folks, but I'm a bit more awkward one on one, and I'm a bit reclusive for a lot of my time.

I don't want to scare her off, but I don't want her to wander off, either, and I don't know if I should escalate things, like ask her on a real date, or make more romantic moves like hand-holding, or alternately if I should just keep doing what I'm doing and talk to her occasionally, and maybe ask if she wants lunch from time to time.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you both are having the same problem. She's either playing hard to get or she's scared of scaring you off. I tend to come on strong as well. Just give her some space, and she'll come around. :) Good luck!

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    • Cool, so keep doing what I'm doing, I guess. Thanks for the well wishes!

    • No prob. Just keep it up and if you feel like you're over doing it, you might be. Examine what you do before you do it, and examine what you say before you say it. It's hard, but you won't scare her off that way.

    • Thanks for BA!

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