My boyfriend never wants to do anything with me and my son, advice?

Been with my boyfriend for 4 years, I have a son from a previous relationship but my boyfriend has been in his life since he was a year and a half. He never wants to do things with us, I asked if he would do a family photo and he said no. He won't come to any of my son's functions, I ask him to go out and do things such as the park etc and he always says you think he is just not interested in having a family? Why would he be with me for so long if he wasn't? Should I leave him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, if there is a chance that you boyfriend will not be staying in your life long term, I think it is best for children to stay out of the relationship. I think that the bigger question in my mind is why you boyfriend hasn't proposed after dating you for four years. By now marriage should have at least crossed his mind. You might want to have a talk with him about the future. I don't mean nag him about getting married. But more of an honest discloser of your feelings: "I see myself spending the rest of my life with you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I think we could have a really good life together with 2.5 children, a house and a dog." And then just see if he is on the same page as you are. Maybe he never wants to get married. Maybe he doesn't want to have children. Maybe he doesn't see the two of you ultimately together. No matter what he is envisioning, you need to know about it because it will forever impact your life. Maybe he wants things to stay just the way they are. You can't shy away from the possibility of hearing something you don't want to hear. Just be brave and let him know what you want.

    • We already discussed marriage and neither one of us want to get married. Having more children has been talked about, but neither of us are sure if we want to have any, my son will be 6 soon and I'm not sure if I want to have another. He is great with my son, and we do little things together, but because him and my son's dad don't get along he refuses to go to my son's functions. He won't get over anything

    • It sounds like his problem is more with your ex than with your son. If I were you, I would explain to him that as far as your son is concerned, your boyfriend is his father. Explain to him that it is important to your son that he be there for important events. Tell him that you hate seeing your ex too, but there are somethings that you do for a child out of love because the love for your son is bigger than your hate for your ex


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you need to have a serious heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. From what you've described it sounds like he doesn't want much to do with your son. However, that seems pretty silly since your son will always be a part of your life. You need to find out what's going through your boyfriend's head.

  • From what you say, NO he is not interested in being part of the family, he is just dating you.

    If you are looking for someone to have a family with, well, you could try talking to him, but I suspect you need to look elsewhere.


What Girls Said 0

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