Don't want to lead girl on, advice?

Alright so I went on this date with a girl last night. It was the first time I met her in person too. So we were going to see a movie, and on the drive there, I tried my best to make conversation with her, you know to get to know her a little. She did not say much but did smile and laugh quite a bit when she answered. At one point I looked over at her and she was shaking a little and took a big deep breath. I think she was nervous?

She was shy and did not ask me any questions or anything at all. This left me pretty disappointed and slightly turned off because I did not know if she was interested in me or bored since I was doing all of the talking, which I hate. Usually there is a good balance between other girls I have been with. Well eventually the movie was over and then we held hands on the way to my car and we talked a bit about the movie but once again she did not say much.

So, I took her home, gave her a goodbye hug and that was it... I ended up texted her a little later saying goodnight., haven't texted her at all today and she did not text me either. After reading her Facebook statuses, I think she was actually interested in me after all, and seems a little sad that I did not text her today, but I do not want her. I hate to sound like a d***, but I kinda feel like I wasted my time with her. She's pretty cute and nice but the communication was just not there. It's just that I tried my best to talk to her and get to know her but she did not make any effort to do the same for me.

So here's the dilemma, I think she actually did enjoy the time with me, but I did not feel the same. I am just trying to figure out if I should feel obligated to be nice and talk to her again, and maybe try to be friends? I don't want to lead her on but I do kinda feel like I should say something? Or does she deserve a second chance? Or should I just forget about her and move on? Any suggestions or any kind of help would be greatly appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well,if you don't really want her then I don't see the point in asking her out again really but as you think she is cute what harm would there be in asking her out again,may be she won't be so nervous the next time and you could get to know her better but chances are she will be nervous and shy for a while cause that may just be her personality and you might have more chance of getting blood out of a stone then her making conversation,so why bother! but a second date could be the decider for you.

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    • I think I got a fair outlook on her personality. She never really has anything to say while we text either, kinda the same charade ha. So, you think I should just put this thing to rest or should I at least tell her that I don't think we are going to work out instead of keeping her guessing on what I thought about the night?

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    • haha okay. I guess after a while she will figure it out, but what IF she tries talking to me again?

    • Hell I'm mean I would ignore her and delete her from Facebook ha seriously I have climbed over hedges to get away from a guy I'm avoiding but if I had to speak to him I would keep it short but polite,dont get into a conversation or she will get to the why don't you want to see me question!

What Girls Said 2

  • im sort of in the same situation,
    I usually don't text guys after a date I wait till they text to see if they are interested or not.

    If she was nervous on your first date then she might be al ittle more comfortable on a second date since you guys already met.

    if you really didn't feel any chemistry with her then don't lead her on.

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    • ya I did not feel any chemistry at all. but I still feel bad if I don't at least try and be nice and say what's up or something instead of just just leaving her confused on what I thought about her. so I shouldn't try to be friends? just move on I guess?

    • ok well its going to be hard but its better if you just tell her how you really feel. GOOD LUCK!

  • I don't know if you have any interest in her but since you took the time to post this it seems like you care about not hurting her. I suggest going out one more time and see if she opens up more. If not than ask her if she's OK, maybe there's something troubling her or you are the 1st guy she's had a date with. Just curious how did you guys meet?

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    • We went to the same school together and I think she heard about me before, but we started talking over Facebook then started texting for a while till we hung out. And yes I do not want to hurt her, I kinda feel like she might be wondering like "why isn't he texting me today" "did I do something wrong" "does he think I'm ugly" ya know? I don't know if I should give her the answers or just forget about her and move on?

    • My only suggestion is to go out with her one more time to see if she talks more. Find out if she's quiet around her friends & if she is than she's the quiet type. If verbal communication is important to you in a relationship than just forget about her. Such harsh words but if you do decide to not see her again just tell her the truth at the end of the date.

What Guys Said 1

  • Is there anything besides the lack of communication that you didn't like about her? Because people are often nervous on first dates and don't talk that much. I would guess after another date or two she would probably open up a lot more.

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    • the communication was probably it. and I understand that it was the first date, but I just feel like I hit it off better with other girls before, including one I just met recently for the first time. I do not think I want to go out with her again but I don't know if I should have the decency to at least say something and maybe hint to her we could be friends, I do not know what to do.

    • No, if you have no interest in her then don't show her interest of any kind. It's too easy for her to misunderstand and problems to arise down the road. Just move on if that's what you want.

    • alright thanks man, I hate having the selfish approach but in this case I just gotta go after what I want. appreciate the comments bro.

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