How long should you date somebody to get married? Am I rushing into things?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I think is good if we settle down and get married but I don't know what he has in mind, I don't want him to think I am pushing him into things. I love him and he loves me and we get along and have a lot of things in common.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well after 4 years I definitely would wanna get married, you don't waste any time, just tell him and if he is not serious start clarifying things. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 8

  • I just don't think marriage is important to me. It's a piece of paper than gets the government even more involved in your life. And if you get a divorce ><. Split everything up, one person is screwed financially over the other, and you may even lose 1/2 of your pension. Yeah if you have children and you guys need to lock in your financial lives together I see the point. I would just say enjoy life because your brain doesn't even stop growing until your 25 and you guys may grow apart. But if your sure and you want to show your commitment of to the rest of the world or if it makes you feel better inside go for it.

    Marriage is just a strategy to improve kids childhoods. Before we had birth control we weren't willing to not have sex so we committed through marriage at a young age when people were usually virgins so that we would have all are kids in one relationship rather than with multiple partners. Now with birth control we can decide when or if we want children.

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  • It's different for everyone of course but I doubt anyone would accuse you of rushing into it after 4 years. Hard to say what's going on in his mind though. Might be worth talking with him about were you and he see the relationship going. You're getting to the point where it's going to be increasingly important that you are on the same page about that.

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  • why not just bring it up?

    time alone can be tricky. some couples advance and share more in shorter periods of time

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    • Because every time I bring it up he says the more I talk about it the less he wants to propose so I don't know what to do =/

  • There's nothing wrong with the woman asking the guy to get married, but if you're both in the 18-24 age range, that's quite young to be getting married. Out of all the married friends I have, the ones with the best marriages got married when they were in their late 20's or even older.

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    • totally agree. don't get married before age 26. You are too crazy before that age to know what is good for you. You also should have a very good source of personal $$$ so you will not be dependent on the other person.

  • after 2-3 years he probably should know if he would marry you or not...4 years..you can def bring it up and not feel like you're rushing ihm

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  • Its not really "how long" have you dated your boyfriend but if it feels right. Since you dated him for 4 years you should be able to know almost everything about him. Listen to your heart and see what the answer is.

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  • 4 years is enough! But remember that getting married you put a lot of things at stake!

    And as soon as you have children - you lose your youth and freedom forever!

    So be sure that they guy you're with ain't gonna dump you!

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  • continue to have fun. don't spoil it by thinking about marriage. don't rush. relax.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It depends on the couple and at what point in their lives they are. At my age, I would date someone a minimum of 4 years before getting married. The older you get though, the more likely you have figured out what you want in your significant other so you don't have to spend as much time before taking that step.

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    • I don't see how marriage is a step. It's really just a legal document. It's not like your relationship will improve somehow. Am I too progressive or what

  • Ur both too young to get married because your still growing and have more maturing to do. A good age is around late 20s or early 30s . imao

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  • I know everyone is saying that anytime before your late 20's is too early but I got married when I was 20. For me, it's been perfect. My husband and I were together for 7 years before we were married. Young marriages can definitely work but I will admit I'm sure it would have been easier if we had waited awhile. After 4 years I don't think it's rushing. Just bring it up slowly. Chances are, he's thought about it too.

    Good luck :)

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