Second date, it didn't go so well I think..

So the first date went really well.

Last Friday, I first took her to a coffee shop she suggested, then we went swing dancing, and I surprised her with my skill since I practiced it for couple of months. then we finalized our first "hanging out" at a local gelato shop and we talked a lot. Then I took her to her car and before we depart, we had a light kiss.

second date, I took her to volleyball game. though I had initial difficulty doing PDA, but we kissed couple of times and after we left the game we made out. then we made out again in the car. Then we went to this sushi place and I was very full, so we ordered 8 rolls and I had one and she had 7 rolls. (There weren't many.) we kissed couple of times here too.

So far, everything went okay. but here comes the messy part... :(

then we got out and took a walk. We stopped at this place, which wasn't very good. and she was like "this place isn't romantic." but I kissed her regardless and we made out again. then I kissed her neck. then she stopped me and said "we should take things slow."

Then she kept distance from me and crossed her arms on her back and we chatted. Then I took her back to her car and we kissed and talked about figuring out our upcoming schedule to plan our third meeting.

So do you think I messed up big time? After writing this, I am feeling better and am worrying less.

But Should I bring it up and tell her that "hey..did we move too fast last week? If we did I am sorry. I really want to go at a pace you are comfortable with" ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You definitely made some mistakes. Here are my thoughts:

    1) The single kiss after the first date is what you should have done for the second date as well. Making out multiple times, kissing her a bunch of times until she tells you to back off... it's only the second date; you need to pace yourself. You don't want to make her feel "smothered."

    2) Her comments like "This place isn't romantic" and "We should take things slow" are not good signs. You want her coming to you, asking you for more affection, not telling you to back off.

    3) In my experience, it's never a good idea to plan the next date while you're on a date. You want her to spend at least a few days wondering if you'll ask her out again.

    4) I wouldn't chat with her about moving at her pace. It's probably better to just take it slower if you two end up going on more dates.

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    • again, thanks alot. you are absolutely right about taking it slow during the second date. She was indeed asking for more affection during volleyball game cause I was extremely shy. Then after the game, I tried to give her another light kiss then she initiated making out. Then in my car, I said "gosh, you are so beautiful." Then we made out again. and I said "omg I am surprised that I can still drive." and she was laughing really hard.

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    • You can't go wrong by taking things slow; you can almost always go wrong by moving too fast. If you're moving too slow for the girl, she'll let you know. The tough part is forcing yourself to move slowly, even if she seems willing to let you move faster. If she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger, she's likely to get bored and drop you; you want her wondering where she stands with you.

    • I would limit the date to one location, such as the restaurant. Keep the overall date length short, maybe three hours. You don't want to wear her out; you want her wishing she could spend even more time with you. You don't want to be doing the actual date in her home; if she offers to have you come in after the date, that's fine, but keep it short. You don't want to wear out your welcome.

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